Wish
by WhosJeebus
Summary: Seto won't be home for the holidays, but can Joey's friends and family manage to show him a holly jolly time, anyway? Sometimes, Christmas miracles happen in the most unexpected of ways...
1. Prologue

Title: **Wish** (prologue/9)

Author: **WhosJeebus**

Rating: M

Pairing(s): Joey/Seto, scads of others, & even a few surprises

Beta: Jennie B.

Spoilers: None

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, but if someone wants to give it to me as a Christmas gift, I certainly won't argue about it...

Summary: Seto won't be home for the holidays, but can Joey's friends and family manage to show him a holly jolly time, anyway? Sometimes, Christmas miracles happen in the most unexpected of ways...

Rant: This fic was written for the 'Dragon Claus Christmas Challenge' over at **A Dragon's Lair. **A list of twenty-five holiday items/situations (humorous or otherwise) was given, and the main requirements were to write at least 6,000 words, and use seven of the list items in the fic. I topped out at almost 50,000 words, and managed to work in twenty things from the list. Boy, am I tired...

Notes on the items used can be found at the end of each chapter.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy it, and that it brings you a little bit of holiday cheer to start your year off right! (01/04/06)

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Prologue:

(8 days 'til Christmas)

Joey dialed the cell phone number he knew by heart and waited through five tedious rings before he happened to glance up at the clock. Shit! It was just past four AM in Hong Kong, and there was no way in hell that Seto would be awake at this hour -- not after such a lengthy flight and the hours of meetings he'd probably insisted on cramming into his day. Knowing the workaholic CEO, it was more than likely that his schedule was already overbooked before he'd even set foot off the plane. Joey hurriedly hung up the receiver and fervently hoped that Seto had his cell phone ringer set to off. He knew all too well what a bear his lover could be if woken unexpectedly. Breathing a sigh of relief, he had just started to walk away when the cordless phone on the desk behind him began to ring. Startled, Joey jumped a few feet in the air before whirling around reflexively to answer it.

"H - hello?" he stammered out.

"Why did you hang up on me?"

"Seto? The fuck are you doin' up at this time of the night? Err, morning. Whatever."

Joey could practically _hear _the smirk over the wire. "It's great to hear your voice too, Mutt."

"I can't help but notice you only call me that when you know I can't get my hands on you."

Seto sighed. "Now that we're living together, I'm much more concerned with self preservation. Don't want to get stabbed in my sleep now, do I?"

"I always knew you were a smart one," Joey teased, laughing. "Seriously though, why aren't you in bed? Is everything alright?"

The fact that Seto hesitated in answering told Joey all he needed to know. "Joey... something's come up."

He fell heavily into the computer chair behind the desk in Seto's home office, and stared up at the ceiling with sullen frustration. He struggled to keep the hurt and disappointment out of his voice as he asked, "I guess this means you're not gonna be home in time for Christmas, right?" If something had gone wrong with the business deal on the first day there, the last thing Seto needed was a guilt trip from his boyfriend, no matter how let down Joey might feel. "I'll be sure to let Mokuba know too."

"Don't worry about Mokuba; I'll send him an email myself. Joey... I know how pissed you are at me right now, but can I please explain?"

"Seto, it's really OK. I know I overreacted at Thanksgiving, and if you say you can't make it, then I know that's the truth. You're aware of how important this is to me, and you wouldn't make a decision like this lightly. Roland told me what a huge deal this is for Kaiba Corp; bigger even than the Australian merger last month. You do your thing and take care of business, and we'll be alright here. Trust me." God, he hoped that hadn't come out sounding like blame. He certainly didn't want to give Seto a complex. Not another one, anyway.

"You have no idea how horrible I feel about doing this -- again. Sung is deliberately stalling the negotiations, and I nearly ended up putting my fist through his face before I figured out why. Apparently, Gozaburo screwed him out of some huge defense contract back in the day, and he's taking his revenge out on me by proxy. Stubborn ass. He _needs _this deal with Kaiba Corp even more than we do, but I get the feeling that Sung's the old school type who's willing to cut off his own nose just to spite his face." There was another long sigh. "I'm sorry; I'm babbling aren't I?"

Joey smiled. "Nah. It's just like if you were here. You know I like listenin' to you talk about your day. I'm just sad that I can't fix you a drink and rub your shoulders while you're lettin' off steam. Y'know, all that domestic shit."

"Ever the romantic," chuckled Seto. "I knew that I kept you around for a reason."

Despite the distance between them, Joey felt like he could close his eyes and imagine his lover standing right beside him as they spoke, and the thought brought an immediate lump to his throat. Hot tears were beginning to collect at the corners of his eyes, and he decided that a change of subject was in order. "So what's this prick's deal, huh? He just bustin' your balls for the hell of it, or do you think he's gonna let up eventually?"

"Honestly Joey, I can't even tell at this point." Seto's voice had taken on a hard cast, and Joey knew that he was warming to his subject. A full-on, patented Kaiba rant was just what he needed now to distract him from his sorrow, and it would hopefully keep Seto's mind from being burdened down with guilt. "I wish I'd known about that bastard Sung's little predilection before I flew all the way out here. This ancient beef with Gozaburo is information that even an incompetent junior level executive should have been able to dig up prior to me boarding that plane. This deal has been in the works for _months_ after all. If I'd known the old bastard was going to be gunning for me like this, I wouldn't have made this fucking trip until after the first of the year. When I get back home, heads are going to roll..."

"Now, Seto... play nice. It _is _Christmas, after all."

"And that's _exactly _why I feel like cracking a few skulls right now. I could be at home, right this very minute, enjoying the holidays with you and Mokuba, but instead, I'm on the other side of the planet, stuck in an ugly hotel suite, totally unable to get to sleep. On top of all that, I have to spend every day that I'm here dealing with some smug asshole who not only treats me like a child, but also insists on dangling the code for his company's graphics engine just out of reach simply to torture me. And... and mocking me over it as well! He's sadistic, and belligerent, and rude, and --"

"In other words, he's _you _in thirty more years."

Seto let out a deep breath, and for a brief moment, Joey worried that he might have gone too far. There was silence for the space of several heartbeats, and then the sound of barely smothered laughter crept over the line. "Touché."

Joey leaned back in Seto's leather chair, imagining he could still detect some faint, lingering trace of the brunet's presence. "You'll get through it; you always do. It's a world renowned fact that no one can resist the will of Seto Kaiba."

"How do you always know exactly what I need to hear?"

"Easy. You never hear _anything _you don't want to, you stubborn jerk. Now get off the phone and go to sleep. I don't wanna have to read in the paper that Seto Kaiba was deported from Hong Kong because he tried to shove a briefcase up someone's ass."

"I miss you, Joey."

"I miss you, too."

No good-byes were necessary between them, and once he'd hung up the receiver again, Joey spun aimlessly in the desk chair for a long while afterward, silently insisting that Seto's absence made absolutely no difference. It was inevitable. This would be a Christmas made up of one, tiny heartbreak after another, just like all the others that had come before, and he was fine with that. If he kept telling himself that often enough, maybe he'd even start to believe it.

Three thousand miles away, Seto Kaiba stared grimly down at his cell phone, as if holding his own personal grudge against it as the bearer of bad tidings. He was fluent in Joey-speak by now; even over long distance and without the benefit of the blond's obvious body language, and he could easily tell that his lover was most assuredly _not_ fine with being left high and dry for the holidays. He felt like such a heel for allowing this to happen, and he wracked his tired brain relentlessly, trying to come up with some way of jettisoning this soured business deal. Despite his mental prowess, no escape plan sprang immediately to mind, but he _was_ able to formulate the barest outline of a scheme that might just make Joey's holiday a bit brighter in his absence. With a little help from a few outside sources, this could very well turn out to be a Christmas that Joey Wheeler would never forget. Seto turned on his cell phone again, and began dialing a Domino City number he knew by rote.

"Kame Game Shop, Yugi speaking. How may I help you?"

"Yugi? It's Seto. I need a _huge _favour..."

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tbc

**Author's note**:

Items used in this chapter:

None

Word Count:

1469 this chapter / 1469 total thus far


	2. Chapter 1

Title: **Wish **(Chapter 1/9)

Author: **WhosJeebus**

Rating: M

Pairing(s): Joey/Seto, scads of others, & even a few surprises

Beta: Jennie B.

Spoilers: None

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, but if someone wants to give it to me as a Christmas gift, I certainly won't argue about it...

Summary: Seto won't be home for the holidays, but can Joey's friends and family manage to show him a holly jolly time, anyway? Sometimes, Christmas miracles can happen in the most unexpected of ways...

Rant: Because you guys are so good, you get Chapter 1 early. Next chapter goes up one week from today, or at the 10 review mark, whichever comes first. Many glompings, and I hope you enjoy! (01/05/06)

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Chapter 1:

(7 days 'til Christmas)

The shrill alarm woke Joey from his restless slumber, and wound up tossed haphazardly in the corner for its trouble. Glancing briefly at the empty pillow beside him, he threw an arm across his eyes and muttered, "Fuck." He desperately wished he could just stay in bed all week long and simply ignore his responsibilities. He was far too gloomy to face bi-polar holiday shoppers at his part time job in the bookstore, and he certainly didn't feel like putting on a happy face for his friends' benefit either. Unfortunately, life waited for no one, and as painful as it would be to grit his teeth and explain Seto's absence to everyone _again_, there was no getting around it. And unfortunately, falling into a depressed funk would only bring even more nuisance down upon him.

Joey realized that, in spite of his ugly past and uneven temperament, he was truly blessed with an ability to take an overall sunny outlook on life and make the most of unfortunate situations. In that respect, he'd held out a lot of hope for this upcoming Christmas together with Seto, even going so far as to paint a Norman Rockwell type scenario in his own mind. He knew that flights of fancy such as holding hands while ice skating on a frozen pond, or drinking mulled apple cider in front of a roaring fireplace were more than a long shot, but dammit, he'd wanted to at least come close; closer than he'd ever thought he could, anyway.

Childhood Christmases were nothing but blurry affairs in Joey's memory, even now recalled only with difficulty, and distinctive for the mere fact that they had always been traumatic times for his little sister and himself. Their parents' ceaseless fighting ruined every holiday, dampening even Serenity's bright and hopeful spirit, and driving the two of them to take refuge in each other as they huddled together for reassurance. No amount of gifts under the tree could make up for the fear and anguish they went through on a daily basis, and the uncertain future they had both glimpsed looming before them.

As he grew older, Christmas became just another ordinary day to Joey, and he convinced himself that it was better that way. The fighting had stopped, and even though he missed his sibling terribly, he was assured that she was happier with their mother, living a new, improved life somewhere far away. Without his wife and daughter around, Stan Wheeler struggled through two full time jobs, working the shifts that no one else wanted, just to put food on the table for the remainder of his family. Presents and decorations were a rare extravagance, though Joey would have been more than happy to do without if it had meant he could spend time with his dad every once in a while. They were all the family either had left, yet they had gradually become strangers inhabiting the same space.

Later on, after his father's accident and the subsequent drinking, Joey learned to avoid home altogether, even during the holidays. The elder Wheeler's drunken rages knew no arbitrary boundaries set by the calendar, and his son had already filled the gaping hole in his life with a solitary existence on the streets, forming attachments to few, and trusting none. The companions that Joey _did _find and allow close to him, accomplished nothing other than to further lead the confused boy in a steady, downward spiral. Life continued in this manner until Joey despaired of ever having any semblance of normalcy, much less allow himself to dream of a picture perfect holiday spent surrounded by loved ones.

But then, he met Tristan, followed shortly thereafter by Yugi, and Christmastime began to change for the better. They succeeded in teaching a half-starved, defiant, and bitter young man the meaning of _true_ friendship, and a belief in himself that didn't depend on the approval and support of others. These past few years, Joey had been happier than ever before in his entire life, each holiday season surpassing the previous year's, and secretly, he'd begun to covet the 'perfect' Christmas. He hid the desire deep in his heart, for fear that it would make him seem selfish, and only allowed himself to take it out every now and then. He continued to quietly hold onto this dearest of wishes, viewing it as nothing more than an unlikely redemption for all the bygone misery. Oh, he wasn't stupid or crazy enough to think that actually accomplishing his dream would fix everything about his rotten past. If anything, he realized full well that he was merely projecting all of his hopes onto _this_ Christmas in particular; foolishly daring disaster to strike once more. Even if, deep down, Joey continued to insist that he deserved to have such misfortune befall him, his die-hard sense of optimism persisted. His spirit was unable to be completely quelled by virtue of the fact that during the past year, his life had neatly fallen into place, piece by glorious piece. In short, Joey Wheeler was happy.

He'd graduated high school more than four years earlier, quite the feat in itself, given how badly he'd allowed his grades to slide at one point. But those were dark days long gone by, and even if his grade point average had to be scraped off the bottom of the barrel, Joey had felt an irrepressible sense of accomplishment in donning that cap and gown and marching down the aisle to collect his diploma. Even now, he was working steadily and saving money to enroll in Domino University's Dramatic Arts program, with a plan in place for the future and determination filling his very soul. It was a welcome change, indeed.

The Duel Monsters tournament circuit was a unique opportunity that Joey had been unwilling to pass up, and within a week after graduation, he was winging all over the world, hob-knobbing with celebrities and royalty alike, living the dream of most every other eighteen year old boy on the face of the planet. It grew stale much sooner than expected, however, and Joey disliked being away from Domino City and his friends more than nine months out of the year. The money had also been _far_ from lucrative, and Joey had wound up spending a great deal of his prize money on the newest Duel Monsters cards, just to stay competitive. Attendance and sponsorship had greatly declined as well, since a certain flashy and _available_ CEO had dropped out of active competition, and with Yugi choosing to tend the game shop back in Domino over dueling, Joey soon became bored and frustrated with his new livelihood. With a surplus of life experience under his belt, the former champion returned home at last to begin living a quiet lifestyle as a not-so-mild-mannered retail clerk. Eventually, to no one's great surprise, he discovered a love for the theatre, and began dividing his spare time between various local productions, and a new, thoroughly unexpected, relationship.

Seto Kaiba had shown up in the cast's dressing room after the final curtain call one evening, bearing a dinner invitation and three dozen red roses -- one dozen for every year that Joey had been away from Domino City. At first, he was certain that it had to be some sort of sick joke, and Joey ignored the persistent CEO for a good two weeks. Kaiba had shown up without fail every night at the same exact time, with the same exact number of roses, and repeated his request. Joey's fellow thespians had assumed that their newest member must be certifiably insane for consistently turning down the handsome billionaire, and the blond eventually acquiesced just to get Kaiba out of his hair. The date had gone perfectly, with Seto confessing right off the bat that Joey's long absence from Domino had caused him to re-evaluate his feelings for the blond, and admit to himself that he was undeniably attracted to his former rival. He even admitted to missing their endless competition and daily bouts of bickering, and when Joey had left town, presumably for good, Seto believed that he had missed his chance. Now he was determined to make up for that lost time, and Joey decided that he was inclined to let him.

Unexpectedly, the relationship had sailed along smoothly since then, and Joey had been living in the Kaiba mansion (mostly) happily for more than six months now. Life wasn't all rainbows and butterflies by any means; two such opposing personalities couldn't exactly mesh together seamlessly in that brief amount of time, but it was more than Joey could have ever thought to ask for. With the holidays rolling around, he'd been looking forward to a bit of family togetherness for the first time; something he'd never really been fortunate enough to experience in his almost twenty-three years. While that plan had pretty much been shot to hell at this point, Joey was used to disappointment, used to making lemonade from the lemons life had handed him in the past, and this Christmas would simply be no different. Still, this year would be a landmark one, full of excitement and firsts, and even though he was anguished over Seto's inability to join him for it, Joey refused to give in to despair.

This Christmas, Joey had his sister close at hand for the first time in over a decade, and he couldn't be happier about it. Serenity, now twenty years old and majoring in business administration, had transferred schools and begun attending classes at Domino University just last fall. Thanks to a generous grant from Kaiba Corp, the university now housed one of the world's most prestigious business schools, and she'd been more than ecstatic when she'd learned that her application had been accepted. It was funny how things worked out, sometimes.

This Christmas, his dad was four months sober, out of rehab and working at a job of his own, using his spare time to reform attachments with the family he'd attempted to push away. He no longer sought to escape from his disappointing life, and this holiday season, Stan Wheeler was busy making up for the long absence in his children's lives. He'd even gone so far as to wholeheartedly embrace his only son's alternative lifestyle, much to Joey's frequent embarrassment.

This Christmas, the Ishtars had relocated from Egypt, and had brought with them the knowledge and the means to release the souls bound to the Millennium items and provide them with their own physical forms. A lot of deliberation and a little shadow magic later, Yami embraced Yugi for the first time, and Bakura finally stopped bitching about Ryou's choice of wardrobe. There had been a great deal of heated discussion on the issue of granting Bakura's freedom, but the general consensus had been that it was far more cruel to leave Ryou stuck with him, which in turn outweighed the dubious wisdom of releasing the tomb robber on an unsuspecting populace. Thus far, Bakura had even managed to behave himself. In the grand scheme of things, anyway.

This Christmas was to have been Joey's first with Seto and Mokuba; the first one spent with a _real_ family, in every sense of the word, and despite his earlier resolution to make the most of it, Joey found himself beginning to backslide into hopelessness once again.

No. He refused.

It was past time to turn his mind toward more productive activities, and Joey bolted from the bed filled with a new determination, and intent on putting together an unforgettable Christmas this year, even if it killed him.

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tbc

**Author's note:**

Items used in this chapter:

None yet. I'm gettin' there!

Word Count:

1867 this chapter / 3336 total thus far


	3. Chapter 2

Title: **Wish** (2/9)

Author: **WhosJeebus**

Rating: M

Pairing(s): Joey/Seto, scads of others, & even a few surprises

Beta: Jennie B.

Spoilers: None

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, but if someone wants to give it to me as a Christmas gift, I certainly won't argue about it...

Summary: Seto won't be home for the holidays, but can Joey's friends and family manage to show him a holly jolly time, anyway? Sometimes, Christmas miracles happen in the most unexpected of ways...

Rant: Thanks to everyone who reviewed the prologue and first chapter! I _told_ you I'd update in one week or 10 reviews, and I'm a fangirl of my word. Same thing applies to this chapter as well -- You get chapter 3 at the 20 review mark, or one week from today, whichever comes _first. _I know which one _I'm _pulling for...

Seriously, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, and that you'll bear with me a bit longer. My biggest concern about this fic is the lack of Seto in the early chapters, but if you stick with it, I promise a big Kaiba payoff in the latter half. The primary focus of the first 4-5 chapters is Joey and (to a lesser extent) his friends, so I'll keep my fingers crossed and pray that you don't outright reject my wacky pairings and slow build-up. I'm a fan of the Long!fic you see, and I like to take my time getting where I'm going. Usually with a specific destination in mind, tho.

As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts on the fic, and I respond to each and every review that comes my way. Many glompings, and DO have fun with chapter 2! See you around next update! (01/09/06)

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Chapter 2:

(7 days 'til Christmas)

Joey had been banging around in the kitchen for well over an hour when Mokuba finally came down the stairs that morning, and he greeted the eighteen year-old's puzzled look with a cheerful smile. "G'mornin', Sunshine! How 'bout some breakfast?" Mokuba raised one questioning eyebrow, and Joey's grin quickly morphed into a petulant frown. "Aw, c'mon... I made it myself!"

"That's what I'm afraid of." Mokuba peered over Joey's shoulder, closely examining what appeared to be a casserole dish full of... something. It may or may not have had eggs in it. "You want me to eat _that_?"

"Just give it a try, will you? I'm sure it tastes better than it looks."

"I'm more concerned with the way it smells. I'm thinking about throwing up on it to make it more appetizing."

Heaving a loud, put-upon sigh, Joey dumped his breakfast creation down the garbage disposal and then poured Mokuba a glass of orange juice. Handing it off to the grinning teen, he seated himself at the counter and continued poring over the massive stack of cookbooks he had accumulated there. He mumbled to himself constantly, pausing in his reading every now and then to jot down a few hastily scribbled notes.

Mokuba sipped his juice and observed these proceedings with interest, eventually discerning that Joey was attempting to put together some type of traditional holiday menu. "I don't know how many times I've said this to you since you moved in, but you _do_ realize that we have people to do that for us, right?"

Joey looked up from his studies, just now noticing that Mokuba had decided on green streaks in his ebony locks today, probably in honour of the holiday season. He actually missed the purple, just a little bit. " I know, but I'm a do-it-yourself kind of guy, and there's a certain satisfaction in eatin' a meal prepared by your own two hands," he shrugged. "Or so I've been told. Besides, it seems kinda Scrooge-y to ask the kitchen staff to come in on Christmas day just because you and your brother are a couple of hopeless bachelors."

Mokuba took a playful swipe at Joey's arm and asked, "Today's breakfast disaster aside, can you actually cook?"

"I dunno. Guess we'll find out."

Laughing, Mokuba dumped his empty glass in the sink and hefted himself up to perch on the edge of the counter. "I just hope you do a better job than Seto did the one year he tried to make Christmas dinner."

Joey's head shot up again, his mouth agape. "Hold the phone! You're tellin' me that Seto _Kaiba _-- _our_ Seto... tried to cook?"

Mokuba nodded smugly. "Yep. It was about three years or so ago, I think. Remember the Christmas when you competed in that charity exhibition tourney in Prague? You were having a rematch with Zigfried, and out of nowhere, all the tabloid shows started reporting that you and Ziggy were an item. Seto flew into this huge, fucking rage when he heard about it, and he threw every employee in the mansion out on their ear and told them not to come back until after New Year's. He was storming around the place and breaking shit for _hours_. I even hid in a closet for a while."

"Me and Baron Von Pink Hair?" Joey shuddered. "No thanks, he's not my type."

Mokuba grinned cheekily. "Ziggy's not anybody's type. Guy totally broke my gaydar the first time I met him."

"Heh. Him and Pegasus need to duke it out for the title of 'Queen ofGames'. All I did was meet the guy for dinner and agree to let bygones be bygones." Joey thought back for a moment. "Come to think of it, I bet that prick was actually tryin' to hit on me a couple of times..."

"Well, even _I_ know you wouldn't have touched that skank with a ten meter cattle prod, but you know how Seto can be when he lets his temper get away from him." Joey nodded in silent agreement. "I came out of hiding when he'd finally worked off his hissy fit, and suggested that maybe we should try to find someplace that would still be open for dinner. I mean, it was Christmas, and neither of us had eaten anything all day long. But the stubborn ass insisted on doing it himself, bitching about how the cook had already taken care of all the preparations and that it couldn't be _that_ hard to do. For a genius, he can be pretty fucking dense sometimes." Mokuba rolled his eyes fondly. "He seemed to think it would be quicker, and more efficient, to _broil_ the damn turkey, and he wouldn't listen to a word I had to say on the matter." Mokuba leaned forward and whispered conspiratorially, "If you look closely at the southeast corner of the main kitchen, you can still see the scorch marks."

Joey laughed uproariously at Mokuba's tale, gasping for breath and making several futile attempts to bring his mirth under control. When he'd finally managed to get hold of himself, his brain rebelled by picturing the expression on Seto's face when confronted with a flaming turkey, and he went off into gales of laughter once again.

Mokuba had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from joining him. Seto was going to _kill_ him when he found out that he'd let _that_ particular cat out of the bag. "We managed to put out the fire by ourselves, and Seto even had the balls to scoop the remains out onto a platter and try to serve it. That poor bird was all black and crumbly, and for a minute there, I was afraid he was going to make me eat it anyway. Thank God he's not _that_ stubborn."

"Seto will go a long way to prove a point, but I don't think he wanted to have to eat that turkey any more than you did." Joey blinked, as an idea had suddenly occurred to him out of the blue. "Hey, Mokie... you took home economics last year, so why don't _you_ help me make Christmas dinner?"

"Not a chance. You're on your own."

"I'd offer to pay you, but it's not like fifty measly bucks is gonna make an impression on your spoiled ass, is it?"

Mokuba merely winked at him and hopped off the kitchen counter to rummage around in the refrigerator for something edible. As he leaned over to take a good look at the bottom shelf, Joey caught a glimpse of something black and shiny underneath Mokuba's uniform jacket. Narrowing his eyes, he leaned back in his chair and asked casually, "Uh, Mokuba? You wanna tell me what you're wearin' under your school uniform there?"

Mokuba tensed his shoulders and then turned around to face Joey. For a moment, it looked like he wanted to start an argument, but then he simply sighed and unbuttoned his jacket to reveal a skin-tight, black vinyl halter top, complete with zip front.

Joey shook his head. "I know I'm not your mother; hell, I'm not even your brother, but I feel obligated to mention that you know damn well they'll send you home from school if they catch you in that. Just like they did when you tried to wear those pink leather hot pants in gym class, remember?" He reached over to place a comforting hand on Mokuba's shoulder, only to have the younger boy shrug out from under his touch and fix Joey with a malevolent glare. The blond swallowed nervously and tried again. "Look. You know that _I_ don't have a problem with you bein' so open about your sexuality, but Seto's already taken away your drivin' privileges for the next month, and he's gonna flip his lid if he gets another phone call from your principal."

Mokuba slammed the refrigerator door hard enough to rattle the glassware in the cabinets above. "So? I'm eighteen years old, and he has no right to try to tell me what to do anymore! If I had access to my trust fund, I'd go buy my own fucking car! Besides, I'm sick and fucking tired of trying to hide who I am just so it doesn't make other people uncomfortable! Let the homophobic bastards go ahead and suspend me for all I care! They can't stop me from being proud of who I am!" Despite all the bluster, Mokuba's face crumpled and tears began welling up in his storm grey eyes. "It's just not fair..."

Joey had been taken aback by Mokuba's outburst at first, especially during the brief moment when all that fury had been directed toward _him_. However misplaced it may have been, the younger Kaiba's ire was no laughing matter. At eighteen, Mokuba had exceeded even Seto's height by a few inches, and when angered, he was a force to be reckoned with. Joey had played peacekeeper and referee between the two brothers often enough to learn that fact first hand. This, however... this was a different situation altogether. Joey had the distinct impression that the hurt he saw reflected in Mokuba's eyes ran far deeper than your average, everyday teenage rebellion.

He stood up from his seat and pulled the sniffling teenager down into a firm embrace. "Hey, take it easy, kid. I'm not tryin' to give you a hard time about anything, y'know? You're an adult now, and I trust you to make your own decisions about stuff like this. I just wanted to make sure you knew what you were settin' yourself up for. I got no intention of rattin' you out to Seto, so just calm down and talk to me, OK?"

Mokuba swiped one hand angrily across his eyes, and then pulled back from Joey's arms, hiding his face in shame. "I'm sorry, Joey. I didn't mean to blow up at you over something so stupid. Forgive me?" Mokuba felt horrible for lashing out like that in anger. Seto had emailed him from Hong Kong just last night, asking him to be extra considerate of Joey during the holidays, and here he'd already gone and broken his word the very next morning.

"Nothin' to forgive. Now pull yourself together and tell me what this meltdown is _really_ about. All this fuss wouldn't happen to be over Seto's not comin' home this week, would it?"

"This isn't the first Christmas he's missed, and it certainly won't be the last. I'm used to that by now. It's just..." Mokuba trailed off, averting his eyes. "Joey... I've been seeing someone for the past four months. Like, seriously seeing him, and now I'm not sure what I should do."

Joey was confused. "Do? Are you wantin' to break it off?"

"No! I -- I really think I'm in love with him, but I've been a stubborn idiot about some things, and I'm worried that he may be ready to give up on me by now."

Joey grabbed Mokuba by the hand and dragged him into the nearest parlor, shoving the teenager down onto a plush leather couch. "Sit. Spill."

"But... I have to get to school --"

"Screw that. It's just a half day anyway, and if Seto wants to give me shit over it, then he knows where to find me. There's more to life than perfect attendance." Joey plopped down on the ottoman in front of where Mokuba sat. "Now talk. And for the record, any guy who gives up on a sweet catch like you has _got_ to be retarded."

Mokuba suppressed a wide grin behind his hand. He was actually starting to feel better already. Joey probably didn't even realize it, but he usually had that type of effect on people. "Want me to start at the beginning?"

"Start at 'when dinosaurs roamed the earth' for all I care; just get to the good part fast."

Shifting around a bit to get comfortable, Mokuba launched into his tale. "When I was fourteen, I told Seto that I thought I was gay. You know some of this already, I'm sure, but other than giving me the big 'sex talk' that day, he also warned me to be circumspect about my 'preferences', as he phrased it. He told me that he didn't want anything to happen that might tarnish the Kaiba name, or find out that something I did could be used against us by the media." Tears threatened again as Mokuba's voice rose an octave, trembling slightly. "My own _brother _asked me not to make him ashamed of me, and I listened to him! For Christ's sake, I actually thought he was _straight_!" Mokuba barked out a harsh laugh, leaning his back against the leather cushions wearily. "Then, he got together with you, and even though I'm happy for you both, ever since the day he told me you two were dating, part of me has wanted to spit in his face and call him a fucking hypocrite."

Joey rose up onto his knees and crawled onto the sofa to take Mokuba in his arms once more. "Mokuba... I don't know what to say. I have about a zillion questions..." He squeezed the younger boy tight. "Why did you keep how you felt bottled up all this time? Why haven't you told us about this mystery man before now? Did you think that we would disapprove or something?"

Mokuba rested his head on Joey's shoulder and took a deep breath. "I guess I've just felt more like punishing Seto with my behaviour than trying to fix things between me and... the guy. He's been begging me to be more open about our relationship, and I keep putting him off with lame excuses. We had this _huge_ fight about it yesterday, and we both said some awful things to each other. I know it sounds completely stupid, but I think I've just been waiting for Seto to find out somehow and confront _me_ about it. Maybe give out to him a little bit for making me feel ashamed of myself for so long." He chuckled darkly and pushed back from Joey's embrace. "Deep down, I probably just wanted to be the one preaching from the moral high ground for once, but in doing that, I think I may have ruined the first meaningful relationship I've ever had. I've been blaming Seto for everything, instead of taking responsibility for my own actions."

"Mokuba, I'm not gonna lie to you. Your big brother can be one hell of a self righteous jerkwad when he wants to be, and even though what he said sounded _awful_, I don't think that's how he meant it."

"I don't understand."

Joey hopped up from the couch and began to pace back and forth across the marble floor in agitation. "Seto's very protective of you. Like, to the 'rabid dog' extreme, if you know what I mean. He went about it the wrong way, but those things he said to you when you were fourteen... he was just trying to shield you from some of the ugliness that's out there." Joey stopped shuffling around the room and turned to look Mokuba in the eye. "When he finally came out publicly about his relationship with me, it was only after we'd _both_ discussed it for a good, long while. He even told me that he hoped the media would focus on us and leave you the hell alone. More than anything, he just wants you to be able to live your life in peace. If there's one clear thing I've learned about Seto over the past year, it's that he's always thinkin' of the ones he loves first and foremost, no matter how harsh his methods may seem to be. I finally figured that out for myself, but I've only been in your lives for a fraction of the time that the two of you have been on your own. Maybe you're too close to see it, but he's never been ashamed of you, and he'd never intentionally hurt you like that unless he was tryin' to shelter you from something that he thought would be even worse." Joey sat down and blinked at Mokuba expectantly, wondering if his words had sunk in, or if the other boy would merely resent him for meddling in 'family' business.

"Jesus. Parenting 101; who knew Seto had it in him? Are you sure you're not my mother, Joey? Because you sure act like it sometimes."

Grabbing Mokuba in a headlock, Joey growled fiercely and proceeded to treat him to the noogie of a lifetime. "You little smartass! I get enough of that crap from your brother!"

When smacking Joey in the head with a couch cushion seemed to have no effect, Mokuba thrashed around uselessly for a bit before raising his hands in surrender. "I give! Cut it out!" Panting, they both collapsed back onto the sofa, grinning maniacally at each other. "Thanks for cheering me up, Joey. I think I might need to have a long talk with Seto when he gets back; maybe clear the air a little."

Joey's eyebrows climbed his forehead in surprise. He'd certainly never listened this well to anyone when he'd been a rowdy teenager. "I think that's a good idea, but don't you think you should have a chat with this fella of yours too?"

"Definitely. Now that school's out for the holidays, I'll get to spend more time with him, anyway." Hearing his own words out loud, Mokuba chewed nervously on his bottom lip, worried that he may have hurt Joey's feelings. "I mean... I'll be around here plenty, too. I don't want you to be on your own for Christmas or anything..."

"Don't concern yourself with me, kiddo. Who am I to get in the way of young love?" Joey clutched his heart and fluttered his eyelashes outrageously. "I've just come up with the perfect idea, though. Why don't you bring your boyfriend by for Christmas dinner? That way, I can decide whether or not I approve of him before Seto gets back and puts him through the third degree. Plus, the two of you can be my guinea pigs. Uh, I mean the two of you will get to sample my delicious culinary advances."

"Joey, I love him. I don't want him dead."

"Har Har." Joey reached up and tugged at a lock of unruly black hair. "Just for that, I'm gonna tell some of the most embarrassing 'widdle Mokie' stories I can think of. Maybe even whip out an old photo album or two."

Mokuba just grinned broadly. "You're sorely mistaken if you think that's gonna drive my guy away. He's seen it _all_."

"I don't really like the sound of that..."

"Trust me, you'll love him." Mokuba bounced up from the couch and straightened his rumpled clothes. "Since I get to play hooky today, I'm gonna head to the mall and finish up some last minute Christmas shopping. Can I borrow your keys? Seto didn't say I couldn't drive _your_ car, after all." He gave the blond his most engaging smile.

Grumbling, Joey fished around in his pocket until he came up with his key ring. Placing it gently in Mokuba's open palm, he groused, "I hope to God you become a lawyer someday, 'cause I've never seen anyone who could work a loophole quite like you Kaiba boys."

Mokuba tossed a wave over his shoulder as he headed for the garage. "Thanks, Mom!"

Stamping his foot in irritation, Joey didn't really help his case by shouting, "You drive careful out there, do you hear me? The snow plows haven't gotten to all the secondary roads yet!" Falling bonelessly onto the nearest piece of furniture, he reflected on the absurdity of playing the mother figure to a boy only four years his junior. "Kid's probably smarter than me anyhow, " he mumbled to himself, stretching. He was surprised at how much listening to Mokuba's problems had distracted him from his own, and he felt a tiny bit of holiday cheer creep back into his heart when he realized that the younger Kaiba trusted him enough to introduce him to his boyfriend.

No family was perfect, he mused, but together, they would make the most of what they had; dysfunctional or not.

Joey propped his feet up on the ottoman and closed his eyes. He was certain that preparing the perfect holiday feast must be a daunting chore, one that would likely require several days of advance food preparation, not to mention plenty of meticulous planning and rest. Yawning, Joey settled back on the comfy divan for a quick nap. Best to get started on that right away.

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tbc

Author's note:

Items used in this chapter:

(1) A flaming (accidentally on fire) main course of turkey, ham, or fish, or lamb, or (insert well seasoned animal part here) during a dinner or lunch.

Word Count:

3459 this chapter / 6795 total thus far


	4. Chapter 3

Title: **Wish** (3/9)

Author: **WhosJeebus**

Rating: M

Pairing(s): Joey/Seto, scads of others, & even a few surprises

Beta: Jennie B.

Spoilers: None

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, but if someone wants to give it to me as a Christmas gift, I certainly won't argue about it...

Summary: Seto won't be home for the holidays, but can Joey's friends and family manage to show him a holly jolly time, anyway? Sometimes, Christmas miracles happen in the most unexpected of ways...

Rant: Well, damn. Didn't quite make it to twenty reviews, but it's been a week, and I keeps my promises. Enjoy chapter 3, (it's one of my faves) and I'll see you again in ten review or next Sunday! Happy MLK Day! (01/16/06)

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Chapter 3:

(6 days 'til Christmas)

When the doorbell rang the first time, Joey had been busy scouring the internet for the perfect pumpkin pie recipe, and his preoccupied brain hadn't immediately registered the sound. On the third ring, the melodic chime managed to cut through his intense concentration, and he scurried downstairs to answer the door, taking the steps two and three at time. To be honest, Joey had been a little frustrated by the ill-timed interruption, but when he flung open the door to see his father standing on the front stoop, nervously shuffling his feet, all traces of irritation vanished immediately. Flinging his arms around the elder Wheeler, Joey greeted him with warmth and enthusiasm.

"Dad! It's great to see you!" Pulling back from the hug, he spied the green and gold foil-wrapped present that his father clutched anxiously to his chest. Amber eyes widened with curiosity. "So... what didja bring me?"

Stan Wheeler laughed loudly; a jovial, full-bodied sound completely unlike his weak, mean-spirited chuckles of the recent past. His current complexion, though not quite the healthy tan Joey remembered from his childhood, was no longer sickly and pallid, and even if there were a few more wrinkles and grey hairs than there ought to be at his age, the resemblance between father and son was still rather uncanny.

Raising one hand and running his fingers through his dark blond hair in a gesture eerily reminiscent of Joey himself, Stan asked, "What? I can't just drop by to visit my only son without bringing a bribe?" He dangled the small box over Joey's head.

"Not at Christmastime, you can't." Joey eagerly grabbed the present and offered, "Wanna come in for a bit?"

"I'd like to Joey, but I'm just here on my lunch break, and it takes forever to drive out to the boonies where you rich folk like to live."

"Ha fuckin' ha." Joey nudged his father's shoulder playfully. "You didn't drive all the way out here just to drop off a gift. What's up, Pops?"

Stan shuffled his feet some more. "Why don't you go ahead and open it? I've got some bad news, and maybe my peace offering will keep you from opening up a can of whoop-ass all over me."

Joey narrowed his eyes and began attacking the shiny wrapping. "Fair enough."

Taking a deep breath, Stan expelled his story in a rush. "Remember Kim? The woman from work that came out to dinner with us on Seto's birthday?"

Joey nodded. "Yeah. She was nice."

"Well, now she'd like to finally meet Serenity, so she's... invitedthetwoofusoverforChristmasdinner."

Joey looked up from his avid examination of the small, ornate box his efforts had revealed, and stared at his father, blinking rapidly. "'Scuse me? I didn't catch that last part."

He took another deep breath. "If you'd be OK with it, I'd like to take Serenity to Kim's place for dinner on Christmas Day. Her parents are coming in to visit for the first time in eight years, and she wants to show off her new beau and his lovely daughter." He proudly hefted himself up to his full height and gave Joey a roguish grin. "And who can blame her, really? A handsome, upwardly mobile guy like myself is quite a catch. I'll be sure to have them eating out of the palm of my hand." His demeanour turned serious again, and he put a hand on Joey's shoulder. "It would mean a lot to me, and to Serenity too, I'm sure, if you could see fit to forgive us both for missing your big holiday dinner."

Joey hung his head for a moment, looking down at the ground in concentration. The elder Wheeler, fearing he'd hurt his son's feelings, opened his mouth to take it all back, when suddenly. the shaggy blond head shot upwards again. A wide grin split Joey's face from ear to ear, and he exclaimed proudly, "You ol' dog, you!" He wrapped an elbow around his father's neck and pulled him down into a fierce one-armed hug. "You never told me that this was gettin' serious! When's the wedding, Tiger?" He released the older man with a wink and a swift punch to the arm.

Chuckling, Stan looked down at his son sheepishly. "You're one to talk. I'm expecting grandkids from you two soon." Joey turned pale, and his father laughed even harder. "Speaking of which, how do you like your present?"

"Huh?" Examining the wooden box in his hand, Joey spied the tiny latch and flipped it open, lifting the lid to reveal an etched crystal bottle and stopper, nestled amongst crimson velvet. The bottle was filled with a thick, dark red liquid, and as he lifted it from its container, he spied a small tag tied around the handle. "Spiced cranberry massage oil... " he read. "Oooh, snazzy! This must've cost a mint!"

The older man's eyes misted up, just a little. "It wasn't cheap, and even if sounds cheesy, I think you're worth it, Kid." Clearing his throat, Stan recovered his composure and indicated the writing on the other side of the tag. Brightening, he pointed out, "Uh, it says down here in the fine print that you can use it for lube, too."

Joey's mouth dropped open and he flushed an alarming shade of scarlet, nearly vivid enough to rival the massage oil itself. "DAD!"

"What? That's pretty useful, ain't it?"

"Well, yeah... but Seto and I do more than just have sex!"

His father looked puzzled. "Really? What the hell else do you have in common?"

Joey continued to gape, opening and closing his mouth in a decent imitation of a recently landed fish. "That's not --" he stammered. "You can't just --" At a loss for words, he finally just burst out laughing instead. "The hell with it. Thanks, Dad." He pulled the other man into a final embrace. "Mokuba and I are gonna miss you at dinner on Sunday, but be sure and tell Kim I said Merry Christmas, OK?"

Stan awkwardly patted Joey on the back. "You sure you're alright with this? I know Seto's gonna be out of town, and you were planning some big shindig..."

"Nah, it's cool. You can make it up to me on my birthday next month. You crazy kids just have fun."

Waving, Stan Wheeler made his way down the long walkway toward his car, and Joey closed the front door after him. He made his way back up the stairs in a half-daze, avidly reading the label on his gift as he went. Dang, so his Dad was right...

Shaking his head in fond exasperation, he set the bottle of oil on the shelf above Seto's computer and pondered the vagaries of a life that put _him _in the parental role, with his father as penitent supplicant. Sometimes, he mused, you live long enough to see things come full circle, and even get a few good laughs out of the process. He was certainly going to miss his family's presence at Christmas dinner, but the pride that Joey felt in his father's miraculous transformation, coupled with his eagerness to see the man genuinely _happy _for the first time in years, far outweighed his meager disappointment. Stan Wheeler had made every effort possible to rejoin his son's life, and the least that Joey could do to show his appreciation was to play the part of the dutiful son. It was an unfamiliar and frightening role for him sometimes, but a welcome one nonetheless. Seto also struggled with his own significant other status every now and again; so used to being alone with only Mokuba to answer to, that the prospect of a doting 'father-in'law' often left him flustered and out of sorts. Joey snickered. Just wait till he heard about the lube...

The sound of the doorbell snapped him out of his reverie once again, and Joey hurried back down the stairs and into the foyer, calling as he went, "Did you forget to give me something, Pops? A bondage swing and nipple clamps, maybe? Just as long as it's not a fur-lined thong like the one you gave Seto for his birthday last year!" Smiling, Joey opened the front door, revealing Tristan Taylor with his finger poised over the doorbell and a smug grin affixed to his face. To his left stood Duke Devlin, busily jabbering away on his cell phone and ignoring them both.

"A fur-lined _what _again?" Tristan asked with barely concealed curiosity.

"Uh, hey guys. What's up?"

"Merry Christmas to you too, shit-head. Is that anyway to greet your best bud? Especially when he comes bearing gifts?" Tristan shoved a large, haphazardly-wrapped square box at Joey's chest, and then elbowed his way past his friend and into the front hall. "Hey, should I ask Seto to model that birthday present for us when he gets back into town?" Joey made a face at Tristan's retreating back, and turned to shut the door. Before the gap could close entirely, Duke agilely slipped through, and gave the blond a terse nod as he went by. He proceeded to focus on his seemingly one-sided conversation, his voice rising steadily in volume.

"No, you idiot! I said 300 chocolate truffles, not 3000!" He paused for a moment, listening intently. "No, no and NO! That's thirty apiece! I'm not sending my guests into a diabetic coma for Christmas you deaf, semi-retarded troglodyte! What's that? Are you threatening me?"

Tristan gave Joey a friendly whack on the back, and rolled his eyes in Duke's direction. "Don't pay any attention to him. He's getting stressed over that stupid Christmas Eve party, so he won't be any sort of company until it's over and done with. I told him to just keep it to friends and family, but he wanted to go semi-formal and _fabulous_, the big ham."

"Heh. I coulda warned him about that. This year's annual board of directors Christmas party at Kaiba Corp was a freakin' nightmare. 'Course, this is comin' from a guy who had to have his arm twisted behind his back until he yelled 'uncle' before he'd agree to put on a monkey suit, so what do I know?"

Tristan laughed. "Damn. Sorry I missed _that _particular show. Tell me someone took pictures."

"You don't read the newspaper much, do ya Tris?"

A loud snort drew both boys' attention back to the third individual in their midst. "I'm sorry, my mother's a _what_? I couldn't quite understand what you were saying because of all the senseless donkey braying that keeps coming out of your mouth!." Duke's face was practically apoplectic with rage. "Why you little -- Put your fucking supervisor on the phone right this minute!"

Tristan sighed. "Anyway, I take it you won't be attending the festivities?"

"Sorry man, it's just not my scene, and without Seto around to keep me from fallin' flat on my face in front of all those rich snoots..." He trailed off, giving an apologetic shrug. "Besides, I'm cookin' a holiday dinner the next day, and I need all the prep time I can get."

"As long as you've got the fire department on speed dial, I think you'll be alright."

Affronted, Joey started to protest, but a mischievous thought had occurred to him instead, and he smirked evilly. "Speakin' of which, you're not gonna believe what Mokuba told me about Seto yesterday --"

"Oh YEAH? Well, same to you _and _the horse you rode in on, you worthless dip-shit! You go right ahead and send me that caterer's bill, and I'll be sure to wipe my ass on it and mail it right back to you!" Breathing heavily, Duke flipped his phone shut with a curse, and then glared around the room at his two shocked friends.

Joey broke the silence first. "You kiss my little sister with that mouth?"

"Among other things. Tris, you didn't let him open the gift without me, did you?" Duke whined. When Tristan shook his head no, the green-eyed boy promptly turned to Joey and wrapped an arm tightly around his shoulders. "Oh, you're gonna love it. All _my _idea, of course."

With all the uproar, Joey had almost forgotten about the large box in his arms, and he promptly tore into it, tossing colourful paper and ribbon left and right in his haste to get a look inside.

"Save the bow!" shrieked Duke, but it was demolished before the words had even left his lips.

Joey reached into the box and pulled out a fully decorated, ceramic Christmas tree about a foot and a half tall. It rested on a small wooden stand that featured a very large, very tempting red button right in the center of it. "Hey, what's this button do?"

"Ah, famous last words..." Tristan reached over and took the tree from Joey, holding it up to demonstrate. "Have you ever seen those picture frames that let you record personal messages and play them back?" Joey bit his lip, nodding. "Well, this is the same kind of thing. You push the button, and it spits out a random phrase, all pre-recorded by yours truly, along with the rest of the gang, too. Go ahead and give it a try."

Joey eagerly pressed the button, and was instantaneously greeted by Yugi's chipper voice, bright and crystal clear: "Merry Christmas, Joey and Seto!" A huge smile graced the blond's features and, awestruck, he pressed it again, only to hear a surly, "Get that thing the fuck out of my face!" from Bakura. Tristan shrugged. "Some people were more co-operative than others."

The three of them took turns with the new toy, until Joey figured that they must have cycled through everyone's catchphrase at least twice. In addition to Yugi and Bakura, the talking tree gave him a unique demonstration of holiday cheer from nearly everyone he knew.

Ryou wished him a 'very merry Christmas and a happy New Year' in his soft-spoken voice, followed by, "Best holiday wishes to you both," from Ishizu, sounding regal and refined as always.

Duke and Tristan, giving their best impressions of a pair of eleven year-olds, chimed in together with an impromptu rendition of 'Jingle Bells, Batman Smells', while Marik merely stammered out a confused, "Where's the part I'm supposed to talk into, again?"

Serenity hoped that her big brother had 'the very best Christmas _ever_', while Mai contributed a brief but cheerful, "What they said."

Téa's lengthy and boisterous message was interrupted by Marik jumping in again to say, "Wait! I didn't get my turn yet!", and Joey was under the impression that Yami's 'bah, humbug' had finally rounded out the group.

But, unable to resist the urge, he pushed the button one final time and received a welcome surprise. Seto's voice, slightly muffled via speaker phone, drifted to his delighted ears. "When Devlin told me about this 'talking tree' idea, I thought it sounded atrocious." A pause. "Actually, I still do, but I bet you have a smile on your face right now, so it's worth it. Merry Christmas Joey; I miss you more than words can say. Oh, and this thing better be put up in a closet somewhere by the time I get back."

Choking back happy tears, Joey removed the expensive vase that rested on a large marble pedestal in the entryway, and replaced it with the garish Christmas tree. "Thanks, you guys. This was totally thoughtful of you, and I love it."

Tristan gave his friend an embarrassed, 'aw shucks' sort of semi-hug, while Duke enthusiastically tried to squeeze the very breath out of him. When Joey was about to begin protesting his lack of air, the other boy's cell phone rang shrilly, startling them both. Duke jumped away, laughing, and checked the caller ID. "Shit. It's my next door neighbor. I gotta take this." One finger in his ear, he stepped into an adjacent room and promptly began yelling into the receiver. "Hello? What? On my _lawn? _You're fucking joking!"

Tristan and Joey merely exchanged amused glances while their companion stomped through the front half of the Kaiba mansion, gesticulating wildly and shouting at some poor, hapless person on the other end of the line. Eventually, Duke came back around full circle, and halted in front of Tristan, closing the phone again with a snap. "Fucking unbelievable. The moronic caterers have apparently delivered 173 pounds of traditional English plum pudding to my house instead of the game shop, and now the neighbor's kids are _playing _in it!" He glanced at Joey apologetically. "Sorry Blondie, but I'm going to have to cut this love-fest short. Tris? You coming with?"

The brunet shoved his hands deep in his front pockets and mumbled, "Uh, if you don't really need my help, I'd like to hang here with Joey a bit." He looked up and met green cat's eyes. "That is, if you don't mind..." He blushed a light shade of pink when he realized his faux pas. "Oh, and, uh, only if it's OK with Joey, too."

Duke arched one eyebrow slightly, but didn't otherwise comment. "Joey, are you cool with giving Tristan a lift home later on?"

Befuddled at his friends' odd behaviour, Joey nodded slowly. When Duke leaned forward as if to plant a kiss on Tristan's cheek, the blond became even more perplexed. The other two boys caught themselves just in time, and both shrugged off the awkward moment as if nothing untoward had happened. Joey, however, made note of each guilt-stricken expression, and filed this knowledge away for later. Something fishy was going on here, for certain. Just what had his baby sister gotten herself in the middle of?

With Duke out of the picture for the time being, Tristan soon became less reticent around his friend, joking and recounting tales from Christmases past, and even running through a few verses of 'Deck My Balls' together. Joey was surprised that he could still actually remember the lyrics:

_Deck my balls with boughs of holly,  
Fa la la la la, la la la la.  
Tap the keg, inflate the dolly,  
Fa la la la la, la la la la._

_  
Don we now our rubber panties,  
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.  
We're a bunch of twisted Santies,  
Fa la la la la, la la la la._

_  
Naughty girls are such a treasure,  
Fa la la la la, la la la la.  
These North Poles were made for pleasure,  
Fa la la la la, la la la la._

_  
Fucked the elves, fucked all the reindeer,  
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.  
Fuck the cookies, bring us COLD BEER!  
Fa la la la la, la la la la._

The two boys collapsed in a heap with helpless laughter, leaning against each other while recovering their breath. In the midst of the hilarity, Tristan happened to glance up at the clock. "Shit, Joey! I've got to get home! I promised Serenity I'd take her to see 'It's a Wonderful Life' down at the Bijou tonight!"

Joey wiped the tears from his eyes and nodded. "I'll get my keys. Sis'll have your balls for sure if she misses it."

Tristan nodded emphatically. "You're not kidding either." An eager gleam lit his warm, hazel eyes. "In the interest of saving my boys, can we take the Porsche?"

"Which one?"

"Ummm... the black one?"

Joey sighed. "_Which _black one?"

Tristan just gawked at him. "God _damn_! You're one spoiled son-of-a-bitch, you know that?"

"Jealous much?"

"Not hardly," Tristan snorted. "I like a sweet sports car as much as the next red-blooded male, but I'm not prepared to sleep with Kaiba to get one."

Joey merely smiled innocently and twirled the keyring around his finger. "You don't know what you're missin'..." he sing-songed as he led the way to the garage.

Not long after, as they tore down the streets of Domino City in Seto's Carrera GT, Tristan hung on for dear life and debated the wisdom of spending quality time with his friend after all. Serenity may very well kill him for being late, but he'd rather take his chances with her than with an eighteen-wheeler at ninety miles an hour. "Does Seto know that you abuse his insanely expensive automobiles like this when he's gone?"

Joey laughed and turned to shoot his friend a wide grin. "Who the hell do you think taught me to drive a stick?"

Tristan made a mad grab for the dashboard. "Eyes back on the road, man!"

Still miles from Tristan's parents' house, traffic in downtown Domino came to a standstill, and the two friends were forced to slog through the hold-up with everyone else. After about ten minutes of this, Tristan began shaving items off of his 'to do' list with increasing apprehension. "OK. I don't need a shower, I had one just this morning. That'll save... fifteen minutes or so." He peered at his watch. "These clothes are fine; Serenity won't mind if I don't dress up, right?" He bobbed his leg up and down in agitation, squinting fiercely out the windshield as if he could compel the traffic to move forward through sheer force of will.

Joey put a hand on the brunet's knee to halt his restless fidgeting, and gave him a patient, serious look. "Tris, chill. There's a midnight showin' if you miss this one, and I can almost guarantee that Serenity will forgive you if you sweeten the deal with some flowers or something, so relax, alright?"

Tristan nodded absently, and began chewing on his fingernails. He glanced up at the darkened alleyway to his right, and his face lit up with recognition. "Hey, Joey -- isn't this the spot where you and I first met, all those years ago?"

"Y'know... I think you're right. Jesus, that was forever ago. Who knew we'd still be hangin' out together?"

"Oh, ye of little faith. I could tell you were different from all the other punks the moment I laid eyes on you. That's why I didn't kick the crap out of you like Hirutani ordered me to." Tristan smirked as he added, "Well, that, and the fact that you were huddled behind a dumpster crying like a little bitch when I finally tracked you down."

Joey gripped the steering wheel tight in his clenched fists and growled back, "You? Kick _my_ ass?" He turned an incredulous gaze on his friend. "You might've _tried_ it, if you hadn't been such a chicken-shit baby in the first place. You're forgettin' something here; _I_ was second in command, and you were just the new kid on the block. I think the odds were slightly in my favour, whether I was upset at the time or not." He clucked his tongue and admonished, "You shouldn't kid yourself like that, buddy. Sendin' you after me wasn't an initiation rite; it was a suicide mission."

Tristan didn't rise to the bait. Instead, he regarded Joey with a speculative expression on his face. "Was that day the first time your dad had ever hit you?"

"First and _only_, Tris. Don't go there."

"Nah, it's cool. Just wondering."

Without warning, Joey shifted the Porsche into gear and jerked the wheel hard to the left. With a screech of tires, he backed the car up into the narrow alley and slammed on the brakes, cutting off the engine with a flick of his wrist. He turned to regard Tristan with fire in his amber eyes. "Cut the crap, Tris. We've reminisced more today than the last eight years combined. You wanna tell me what's eatin' at you? And while you're at it, you mind lettin' me in on what's goin' on between you and Duke?"

Tristan hung his head, and with this gesture, Joey's suspicions were at least partially confirmed. Dear God, just what had his baby sister gone and gotten herself involved in? He knew that this ongoing, flirtatious thing she'd had with both Tris and Duke over the last six years was mildly bizarre, but now it seemed as if it might have morphed into something rather more... troubling.

"It's... complicated."

"I ain't as dumb as I look."

"Shit man, _I _know that. It's just..." Tristan took a deep breath and met Joey's gaze evenly. "Serenity's been stringing me and Duke along for what, six years now? Every time that either one of us presses her for some kind of a commitment, she avoids the subject or just ignores it altogether. Duke's more of a free spirit, and it doesn't get his panties in a wad so much as it does me, but that's only _half _the problem." He scrubbed a hand through his dark hair, ducking his head to avoid the intensity of Joey's silent speculation. "Now, I'm not the jealous type anymore, and well... you know that Duke and I managed to work out our differences a long time ago. I just don't know how much longer I can keep going on like this. This... not knowing is making me a little crazy, and I guess it's all come to a head here around the holidays." He suddenly slumped down in his seat. "And to top it all off, Duke and I have started realizing that we may have feelings for each other, too." He cringed against the passenger side door in anticipation of the first blow. "You're going to hurt me now, aren't you?"

Joey was flabbergasted. Granted, he'd surmised that this might be the case, but he'd never really given credence to the idea of something so... twisted. It didn't exactly give him the warm fuzzies to imagine his sister in the middle of a domestic love triangle, but just like his father had had to come to grips with his only son's alternative lifestyle, he realized that Serenity's happiness was really the only thing that mattered here. In that spirit, he opened his mouth and managed to surprise himself by sounding relatively calm. "Look, I know that _you _of all people realize what Serenity and I went through with our parents. The divorce and all, I mean. It was rougher on Sis, 'cause she's a hell of a lot more sensitive than me, so it shouldn't come as a shock to you that she's ended up a little commitment phobic. My advice is to talk this over with her, and not pressure her into anything she's not ready for. If you're serious about your feelings for her, you'll give her more time, OK?"

Tristan nodded dumbly in assent. "Sure, man. I'm not ready to give up on her; not even close."

"Glad to hear it. Now this Duke thing..." Joey leaned back in his seat, rubbing his forehead. "You two are custom made for each other, in my opinion, and if Serenity is willin' to deal with _both _of you idiots at the same time, then I say more power to her." Tristan started to speak again, but Joey cut him off with a wave of his hand. "_But_, before you say anything to her about it, you and Dice-boy need to sort out _exactly _what you feel for each other, and decide whether or not you want to drag her into it as well. If you two break my little Sister's heart, I'll cut off both your dicks and airmail 'em to Pegasus, you hear me?"

Tristan reached across the console and roughly pulled Joey into a fierce hug. "You have no idea how happy you've made me, man. I feel like a giant load's been lifted off my shoulders, just getting it out into the open. Thanks, dude." He beamed happily. "Now, I can't wait to take Serenity out for a good time tonight, and let Duke know that you and I finally had a talk about this. Wow. Merry Christmas, and shit."

Joey waved him off. "Whatever. You've been warned, asshole." He started the engine and pulled back out into traffic, wondering how he ended up acting as his friends' and family's own personal love guru this holiday season. This was _not _something he was cut out for, and he had his own problems to deal with on top of everyone else's. He had to admit though, handing out advice to others gave him a warm glow, and helped him forget about the hole in his heart that was Seto's prolonged absence. A few more days of this, and he might even start charging.

**xxxxxxxxxxXXXXXxxxxxxxxxx**

tbc

Author's note:

Items used in this chapter:

(2) A talking Christmas tree.

(3) Peppermint, or gingerbread, or eggnog, or pumpkin pie, or chestnuts, or Wassail punch, or (pick a winter or Christmas type flavor) massage oil either given as a gift or applied to a body part.

(4) Tristan and Joey singing mildly naughty versions of Christmas carols.

(5) A semi-formal holiday party hosted by either Seto or Duke. also in chapter 8

(6) One hundred and seventy three pounds of traditional English plum pudding delivered to the wrong address (as in delivered to one of the gang).

(7) Fur lined underwear.

Word Count:

4669 this chapter / 11464 total thus far


	5. Chapter 4

Title: **Wish** (4/9)

Author: **WhosJeebus**

Rating: M

Pairing(s): Joey/Seto, scads of others, & even a few surprises

Beta: Jennie B.

Spoilers: None

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, but if someone wants to give it to me as a Christmas gift, I certainly won't argue about it...

Summary: Seto won't be home for the holidays, but can Joey's friends and family manage to show him a holly jolly time, anyway? Sometimes, Christmas miracles happen in the most unexpected of ways...

Rant: Wow. Isn't it amazing how quickly a week can pass? Especially when you're procrastinating on a round robin deadline...

Well, we came REALLY close to ten reviews again, but didn't quite make it. Looks like Monday will be our regular day for updating, and in lieu of receiving ten reviews per chapter, I'll do my best to stick to that schedule, scout's honour.

I'm sure you're all jonesing for some Seto action by now, but fear not. He'll be back with a vengeance in the next chapter. Be forewarned, however. You may end up 'wishing' he'd stayed out of the picture a bit longer...

I hope you're all enjoying the fic thus far, and because I'm so happy about the glowing feedback, I promise you a super duper extra long (deluxe edition!) Chapter 5 on the next update. And, for those of you still wondering about the identity of Mokie's mystery man, let's see if Chapter 4 gives you any clues...

See you guys again at the 38 review mark, or next Monday, whichever comes first! waves (01/23/06)

**xxxxxxxxxxXXXXXxxxxxxxxxx**

Chapter 4:

(5 days 'til Christmas)

Joey eyed the results of his latest culinary experiment and released a weary sigh. This was the third loaf of bread that had turned out like a brick, and at this point, even his infamous 'never say die' attitude had packed its bags and walked away in disgust. He'd mastered the fine art of mashed potatoes, conquered the mysterious realm of cranberry sauce, and even bested his opponents, the elusive ambrosia fruit salad and the wily glazed ham. Baking, however, he likened more to alchemy than cooking. He was fast becoming convinced that to do it properly, he'd need some sort of lengthy degree and years of apprenticeship under the tutelage of a master. Sighing in frustration, he tossed his apron down on the counter, sending up tiny puffs of flour. He was out of ideas, and as he bent down to inspect the oven's heating coils, he still retained a faint glimmer of hope that perhaps the blame didn't lie with his own cooking skills. Or rather, the lack thereof.

Joey stuck his head all the way inside the oven, and finding no apparent malfunction, briefly considered leaving it there. He only had five days left to figure this out, and he was rapidly losing all traces of his formerly indomitable optimism. He knew that no one would fault him for screwing up one measly Christmas feast, but this had become more and more about personal accomplishment than anything else. He was starting to think that he might be asking for too much, or maybe he was just tilting at the odd windmill or two. Regardless, there had to be _some _way of pulling this off, short of sending up the white flag and calling in a caterer, but damned if he could see his way clear to it. No matter what he eventually came up with, it would seem that one week's worth of self-taught gourmet cooking was simply _not_ going to cut it.

As he deliberated on his remaining options, Joey thought he heard a faint rapping sound coming from somewhere in the mansion. Cocking his head to listen, his ears detected nothing but silence, and he began to suspect that he'd simply imagined it in the first place. He was dead on his feet at present, and it wouldn't really have come as much of a shock to him if his brain ended up conjuring a full-blown hallucination to go with the phantom noises. It was barely six PM and he'd already pulled an eight hour shift at the bookstore, dealing mostly with irate, last-minute mall shoppers, and going slightly bonkers from hearing the same Christmas carols over and over, piped in from overhead. He'd followed up work with a grueling rehearsal of 'A Winter's Tale', which was scheduled to be his theatre troupe's first play of the upcoming year. With holiday panic looming, none of the actors were able to focus on what they were doing, and the whole affair had been one huge disaster from start to finish. The grand finale to his crummy day had been the fact that he'd just spent two frustrating hours in the kitchen with nothing to show for it. He'd even nodded off on the phone with Seto earlier, and only now continued to stay mobile by virtue of the fact that he'd _finally _figured out how to work the damned espresso machine. At least _some _good had resulted from his culinary excursions, after all.

The rapping came again, and this time, Joey was able to pinpoint the direction from which it had emanated. Lo and behold, it had taken his tired mind this long to figure out that someone was at the front door. He smiled to himself as he made his way to the front hall. Only one person he knew ever used the door knocker, and that person was Ryou Bakura. The impeccably well-mannered young man often claimed that he found doorbells to be obnoxious and unrefined, and always insisted on knocking politely instead. As Joey hurried to greet his guest, he wondered if Seto had had anything to do with the frequency of visitors that seemed to be showing up at his door lately. Had his guilt-ridden boyfriend engineered some sort of plan to prevent him from becoming lonely over the holidays, even going so far as to scheme with Joey's friends behind his back? It certainly sounded devious enough to be Seto's doing...

Joey skidded into the foyer, wiping his hands on the dish towel he had slung over one shoulder, and made a grab for the first deadbolt. Before he'd managed to unlatch it, the visitor knocked again, but gone was the patient rapping of before. In its stead came a forceful pounding, quite unlike Ryou's usual quick, concise taps. Joey frowned. Just peachy; Bakura was tagging along this time. "Keep your panties on, will ya? I'm on it!"

He reached for the second deadbolt, and without warning, the headache-inducing pounding was interrupted by a high-pitched shriek. That had sounded a _lot _like Ryou -- a lot like Ryou being brutally murdered, that is. The shriek ended even more abruptly, followed by a teeth-rattling thud that shook the entire front door. Joey glanced up see the tip of a sharp blade protruding through the wood, alarmingly close to his head. For a moment, he stood frozen in place, gaping at it stupidly. "What the --?" Concern for his friends' safety took over, and Joey flung the door open, belatedly realizing that he'd essentially granted entrance to whoever, or _whatever _had just put a knife through three inches of solid oak. The sight that greeted his eyes, however, was not at all what he'd been expecting. Slightly off to the side, Ryou stood with his back hard up against the far wall of the entryway, both hands clutched to his chest and a look of abject terror on his pallid face. If there had been any handholds to be found, Joey was sure the poor kid would be halfway up the side of the mansion, hissing like a cat. Bakura, meanwhile, took up most of Joey's field of vision, standing spread-eagled and panting on the front stoop, with a strange mix of fear and rage twisting his features. His left sleeve was rolled up past the elbow, revealing an obviously _empty _wrist sheath.

Slowly starting to piece things together, Joey followed the direction of Bakura's furious gaze. An ornate knife hilt lay partially buried in the depths of the huge holly wreath that graced the front door. "Uh, Bakura?" Joey began, scratching his head in bewilderment. "You mind tellin' me why you decided to stab the festive greenery to death?"

Ryou's breathing had finally returned to normal, and he shouldered past the still-fuming Bakura to stand before Joey, albeit rather sheepishly. "I'm sorry, Joey. That was my fault, I'm afraid. When Bakura here started pounding on the door like a barbarian," he paused to shoot the other boy a disparaging glare, "the wreath started playing a Christmas carol, and I'm ashamed to admit that it startled me a bit."

Bakura scoffed. "A bit? You screeched like a girl." He yanked the knife from the door and slipped it back into its sheath. "And _that _thing," he growled, poking at the wreath for emphasis, "is a fucking menace."

Joey tried hard to hide his amused smile. "So, a defenseless, singing Christmas wreath, with a big honkin' _bow _on it no less, had the two of you pissin' your pants, is that right? It may just be me, but I've never found 'Sleigh Ride' to be all that intimidating..."

"Screw you, Wheeler. C'mon Ry, let's take his cookies back home with us."

Joey zeroed in on the foil-wrapped plate that lay abandoned on the welcome mat. "Cookies? You brought cookies?"

Ryou nodded shyly. "I didn't think you were home, so I was just going to leave them for you, but --"

"Are they homemade?" Joey interrupted, grabbing at the front of Ryou's winter coat.

"Well, yes they are, but --"

"Can you --" Joey swallowed nervously. "Can you... bake?" he whispered.

"I know the basics, but there's really --"

"Great! Get your skinny ass on in here!" He hauled his guest in through the door, across the front hall, and was making straight for the kitchen when he suddenly remembered Ryou's reluctant companion. "Oh, and Bakura, you can come too," Joey called behind him. "I know you have to be invited in or somethin' before you can enter a human dwelling."

Sighing, Bakura reached down to retrieve the forgotten cookies. "Get bent," he muttered under his breath. He gave the offending wreath one final, malevolent glare before trailing after the other two boys.

Once inside, he eyed the mansion's high, ornate ceilings and endless hallways with a touch of trepidation. He'd seen pharaoh's tombs with fewer twists and turns. After a few false starts, he found his way to the kitchen and joined the cooking lesson already in progress. Rolling his eyes, Bakura proceeded to raid the liquor cabinet, and once he was firmly ensconced on a kitchen stool with vodka in hand, he began poring over one of Seto's financial magazines. Listening in with one ear, he amused himself with the thought that if he hadn't already known that mere baking was going on, he might have gotten the wrong idea...

"No, Joey! You're using way too much oil! Try again!"

"What's wrong with it now? Am I bein' too rough with my hands or somethin'?"

"Oh, I can't do a thing with this! It's just too soft!"

"Ow! Don't shove at it so hard! My hand's in there!"

"Kneading, Joey. It's called _kneading _and you have to do it right if you want to get anywhere!"

"Hey, what are these big hook things for?"

"Now we just leave it alone and let it rise."

"Wow! Lookit how big it got!"

An hour later, Bakura closed the magazine and rubbed at his temples. "This piss-poor excuse for a vaudeville act is starting to get on my nerves. Aren't you ladies finished yet?"

Ryou glanced up and made a face in Bakura's general direction, just short of ignoring him altogether. "Don't mind him, Joey. He's just pissy because he got a parking ticket today."

Bakura took immediate offense to this. "You're the one who woke me up and dragged me out Christmas shopping! I should make _you _pay it!"

Ryou was nonplussed. Calmly, he stated, "Now Bakura... think back and see if you can tell me how many times we've had our little 'no parking on the sidewalk' discussion, hmm? More times than I can count, honestly. I can't let you get away with saying it's all _my_ fault."

Crossing his arms, Bakura replied sulkily, "Fine. But I still say it's a damned stupid rule."

Joey was perplexed. "Bakura has a car? When did he-- ?"

Ryou pursed his lips and gave his head a minute shake. It was the non verbal equivalent of 'don't ask', and Joey decided to heed the warning. Right. He was probably better off not knowing, anyway. Looking around for something to relieve the tension in the air, his eyes fell upon the plate of cookies. "Hey, I almost forgot about these!"

Ryou made a quick grab for his friend's hand and missed. "Wait! There's something I need to tell you before --"

The warning came too late. Joey pulled the foil cover off, and then stared down at the plate in confusion. "Gingerbread cookies?"

Bakura smirked. "Gingerbread _men. _Anatomically correct gingerbread men, to be exact."

Ryou's pale complexion flushed a lovely shade of pink. "'Kura snuck in the kitchen while they were still in the oven, and gave them little, candy corn, uh... erections."

"Oh, for Ra's sake, Ryou! Say 'boner', why don't you? I bet you even get one yourself every now and then," Bakura groused. He thought about what he'd just said for a moment. "Actually, I _know _for a fact you do. Remember that one time, when you were looking at that picture of --"

Ryou cleared his throat loudly, his face becoming even darker. "Luckily, I got to him before he could _disfigure _any more of them after this batch, but he insisted that the first dozen were yours. I hope you're not offended."

"Not at all." Mesmerized, Joey reached down and broke off a piece of candy corn. The other two boys visibly winced.

"Good. I told Ry you'd like them, and besides, with Kaiba out of town, I figured you could use a stiff dick or two around the place."

"BAKURA!" Ryou looked like he might faint at any moment.

"Oh, lighten up. It's the holidays, after all. Isn't that what you've been telling _me_ for weeks now?" Bakura sneered, turning his back on them both. "Merry Christmas this and happy holidays that," he muttered. "It's just one big pain in the ass if you ask me..."

Joey leaned over and stage whispered in Ryou's ear, "What's he got against Christmas, anyway?" The smaller boy merely shrugged helplessly.

Bakura whirled around in his seat. "I don't have anything against Christmas, you ninnies! I just don't fucking _understand _it!"

Joey was more confused than ever. His baking efforts forgotten for the time being, he pulled another stool from around the corner and sat down across from Bakura, while Ryou took the seat behind. "I don't get what you're sayin', B. Whaddya mean you don't 'understand' Christmas?"

"Are you dense? I mean I don't _get_ it. What the hell is it all about? What's with all the decorations, and the shopping, and thrice-damned, asinine music? And who the hell is that annoying, fat bastard whose face is plastered all over everything from soft drinks to Yugi's underwear?"

"You're jokin', right?"

"About Yugi's underwear? No, I'm perfectly serious. He bent over to pick up a case of Duel Monsters cards the other day, and there they were, plain as day -- "

"That's not what I meant!" Joey grimaced and pinched the bridge of his nose -- a gesture that he'd picked up from Seto just recently. He took a deep breath before continuing. "This may be your first Christmas with your own, uh-- I mean, the first one since you've, umm..." Joey sighed, exasperated with himself. "OK. This is your first Christmas 'on the outside', so to speak, but surely you've been through it with Ry a bunch of times before..."

Bakura was shaking his head. "No way. He always got so sappy and -- and just plain _weird _at this time of year." He shuddered. "I generally made a beeline for the Shadow Realm until it was all over. It was... quieter there."

"So, no one's ever sat you down and explained the meanin' of Christmas to you, is that what you're sayin'?"

The white-haired boy gave a casual shrug. "I guess not. Whatever."

Joey and Ryou looked at each other over Bakura's shoulder. Where to begin?

Throwing out the opening gambit, Joey decided that the empathetic approach would be for the best. "You're kind of a material guy, so it's safe to say that you like gettin' presents, right?"

"Sure. Who doesn't?"

"Well... Christmas is the time of year where you think about the people in your life, and what they mean to you, and you give them gifts to let them know you care."

Bakura pondered this. "Still don't get it. What's the point?"

"OK. Let's try a personal example, instead. Marik's your best friend, ain't he?"

"More like partner in crime..." Ryou mumbled.

Bakura narrowed his eyes, but didn't respond to the jibe. "Yeah, technically."

"That's perfect, then. So, keepin' in mind that you value his friendship, you'd go out and buy him a nice present in order to demonstrate that fact. Get it?"

"Why the fuck would I buy him a present? He owes me money."

Joey hung his head. "I give up. Do the words commercialism and propaganda ring any bells for ya?"

"Here Joey, let me try." Ryou put a hand on Bakura's shoulder to get his attention, and then explained in a soft voice, "For lots of people the world over, Christmas is a holiday with deep, religious connotations. Some say it represents the long ago birth of a saviour, while others view it as the symbolic death of the previous year, and the beginning of a new one, all rolled together. They celebrate with their family and friends, and take time to reflect on the meaning of life, often giving each other gifts of special significance, or representative of their spirituality."

Bakura's brows climbed toward his hairline, and understanding dawned in his eyes. "Oh, I get it now! It's kind of like the Nakat al Netjeru!"

Joey squinted. "The whoosie whatzit?"

"The Nakat al Netjeru! Back in ancient Egypt, in order to procure a season of fertility and healthy crops, we would celebrate the Nakat al Netjeru during the first great flood of the year. The men would drink fermented ox urine and dry-hump crocodiles, while the women wore elaborate, skimpy dresses woven from hippopotamus hide, and danced erotically for our amusement. Then, at the culmination of the ceremony, a live virgin would be flung into the Nile with a basket of figs strapped to his or her head. It was truly one of our most holy days."

Blinking, Joey muttered, "Sorry I asked..."

Ryou just smiled politely. "Well, yes... I suppose that _could _be considered similar..."

Bakura snorted and gave his former host a light smack upside the head. "Come off it, Ry. I was just pulling your leg. I still don't get this Christmas shit, and I'm not sure if I even _want_ to anymore. Seems like a giant crock, more than anything."

Joey kicked Bakura in the shin, nearly unbalancing the other boy from his perch. "You asshole! You totally had me goin' there for a minute! I dunno why we're even botherin' to try and explain this to you if you're just gonna jerk us around! Shouldn't this fall under girlfriend duty, anyhow?"

Behind Bakura, Ryou's head shot up at Joey's words, and he hopped off the stool, trying to get the blond's attention. Bouncing frantically up and down, he flailed his arms wide in the universal gesture of 'shut the hell up'. He was hoping to stem the imminent tide of Bakura's ire, and maybe save his friend's bacon, in the process.

Chalk it up to a glitch in the translation, but Joey didn't quite get the message. He merely tilted his head at the other boy and gave him his famous, patented 'huh?' expression before continuing to rant. "Go home to Mai and ask _her _about the meaning of Christmas if you really wanna know, and stop harrassin' us with your pathetic sense of humour. I'm sure you'd be more wary of pissin' _her _off, since you'd probably end up sleepin' on the couch if you did. And that's only if you're lucky. If I remember correctly, and I'm not entirely sure I do, because of all the head trauma I got from her hurlin' shit at me all the time, but she can be pretty vindictive when she sets her mind to it." A fond, nostalgic smile flitted briefly over Joey's lips. "Speakin' of Mai, how's she been doin' lately?"

Ryou covered his eyes with his hands and braced himself for the outburst he could see coming from a mile away.

Bakura was up off the stool and in Joey's face quicker than a bolt of lightning. "How's Mai? I'll tell you exactly how she is! She... LEFT ME!"

Joey toppled backwards off the stool and landed on his tailbone with a loud crash. "Oh shit, man; I'm sorry! I didn't know!"

"Yeah, well... it only happened yesterday, so I don't suppose it's really your fault that -- "

"What the hell did you _do_?"

Bakura was towering over him again in a flash, and he gave Joey's prone form a swift kick in the ribs.

"Oww!"

"What makes you thing that _I _did anything? Maybe I wanted her to leave; did you think of that?"

"Sure, whatever. I'm sure the bitch was just crampin' your style or somethin'." Joey rolled his eyes sarcastically, and then heaved himself back up on his feet with a tired grunt. "Now tell me what _really _happened."

Bakura rubbed a hand over his face and sat back down. "It's just more of the usual crap. She claims that I don't take her or our relationship seriously, and until I learn to acknowledge her as an equal partner, and make some sort of a commitment to being with her, then I can just stay the hell gone." He scrubbed his fingers through his white hair and gave Joey a lop-sided smile. "For fuck's sake, men in ancient Egypt did _not_ have to deal with this shit..."

Joey nodded sagely. "Lemme guess. Hidin' out at Ryou's for a few days, and then slinkin' back home with your tail between your legs isn't workin' anymore, is it?"

Bakura met Joey's gaze, astonishment plain in his dark brown eyes. "How did you know?"

"I kinda went thru the same thing with Seto when we first hooked up. I, uh... wasn't exactly a model boyfriend back in the early days." Ryou's eyebrows shot up in surprise, but before he could voice his questions aloud, Joey nervously cleared his throat and continued. "There's really only one way to fix this -- that is, if you're prepared to go through with it."

"This may just be the vodka talking, but I'd be willing to do anything! I can't stand this much longer!"

Joey drew himself up to his full height and peered intently down at Bakura. "Are you serious about Mai? For real?"

"Yes! I love her! It's just that I don't know how to _talk _to her about feelings, and... stuff."

"Well, you're gonna have to figure that out and fast, big guy. Chicks _love _to nag guys about bein' sensitive and 'getting in touch with your emotions' and all that other girly crap. But for now, all you need is something to get you back into her good graces; then you can deal with the rest of it from there." Joey gestured aimlessly. "Y'know, whatever kind of weird, kinky shit you two do..." A wistful expression crossed Joey's face once again, and his words trailed off as he stared dreamily out into the distance.

Fisting his hands in Joey's t-shirt, Bakura pulled him close and demanded, "As much as I'm enjoying watching you get off on the sound of your own voice, stop mentally pawing _my_ girlfriend, and just tell me what to do, dammit!"

Joey pried himself out of Bakura's grasp and sniffed haughtily. "Fine. What you need, my friend, is some sort of grand gesture. Not just your typical bouquet of roses or box of chocolates. I'm talkin' _big, _and I'm talkin' _sincere_. Get her attention with something flashy, but make sure it's comin' from the heart, too."

Ryou nodded along with Joey's advice. "And, it wouldn't hurt if you managed to demonstrate a lover's grasp of the holiday's significance, as well."

Joey wrinkled his nose. "Say wha?"

"Ry's telling me that to _really _get Mai's attention, I should make it huge, make it real, and make it Christmas-y, if possible. Am I right?"

Ryou beamed. "You've got it perfectly."

Bakura pursed his lips in thought for moment. "So... pulling some big, romantic stunt is what got _you _out of the doghouse with the High Priest, eh?"

"Sure, but it wasn't easy. I mean, what on earth do you get the multi-billionaire that has everything?"

Snorting, Bakura reached over and covered Ryou's ears with both hands. "You let him tie you up and have his wicked way with you for an entire weekend -- that's what. Duke told me about it _ages _ago."

Joey's face paled. "Fucking Tristan! I'm never tellin' him _anything_ again!"

Ryou batted Bakura's hands away in annoyance. "Tristan? Actually, I heard it from Yugi..."

Waving his hand dismissively, Joey complained, "I'm surrounded by traitors. Anyway, just trust me. It'll work on Mai too if you do it right, and put your heart into it."

"Great. I'm sure my brilliant, devious mind will come up with something original, unlike yourself. After all, bondage was old news by our third date." Bakura whacked Joey on the back and jumped up from his seat. He was halfway out the kitchen door when he called, "I'll catch you losers later; I've got to go find a way to get myself in the holiday spirit!" He stuck his head back around the corner and winked at Joey. "Oh, and Wheeler? If this doesn't work, I'll be back later this week to murder you in cold blood. Don't try to run and hide or I'll only make it hurt worse." With a quick wave to his gentler half, Bakura was gone.

Ryou smiled fondly after him. "Be sure not to leave a trail of forensic evidence!" He turned back to Joey. "I hope you don't mind having me around until a little later. I can give you a few more baking tips and then call a cab, if that's alright with you?"

"Sure man, it's kosher." Joey offered Ryou a well-endowed gingerbread man, and smiled mischievously. "Cookie?"

The two boys puttered around the kitchen for a while longer, before retiring to Seto's private den to drink hot cocoa and celebrate Joey's first, perfect loaf of homemade bread. They had eagerly devoured the entire thing with butter and raspberry jam, and now they simply wanted to sit back and enjoy each other's company in front of a roaring fire, and the Kaibas' beautifully decorated Christmas tree. Joey fiddled with the stereo for a bit, and found a station that was playing all Christmas carols, but thankfully not the horrid Muzak versions that he was forced to endure all day at work.

Truth be told, despite his loneliness, Joey was thoroughly enjoying this cozy little holiday moment with his friend, and the pleasant atmosphere had relegated his tiring, frustrating day to a distant memory. That was, until an announcer interrupted the festive tunes with an emergency weather bulletin, detailing a massive blizzard headed straight toward Domino City. Over the next few days, they were expected to receive over eighteen inches of snow, along with gusting winds and subzero temperatures. Even though he realized it had been a slim chance at best, Joey had stubbornly held onto a tiny ray of hope that Seto might still make it home in time. From the sound of the severe storm coming their way, there wouldn't be an airport open within a hundred mile radius, effectively spoiling any chance of a last minute Christmas miracle.

As if reading the other boy's mind, Ryou put his mug down and strolled over to stand beside his friend, resting a warm hand at the nape of the blond's neck. "I'm sorry, Joey. I guess this means Seto will be missing that fabulous dinner of yours for sure now, the poor bastard."

Joey laughed softly. "Yeah, right. Come and talk to him _after _all the guests have filed their lawsuits." When he didn't hear Ryou's answering chuckle, he glanced up to find the other boy staring pensively into the flames. "Ry? You OK, man? You've seemed kinda down the last few times I've hung out with you. Is everything alright?" He placed a reassuring hand on Ryou's arm and asked earnestly, "Bakura's not up to his old tricks again, is he? 'Cause if that's the case, I'll march right out this door and --"

"No, no; it's nothing like that... These days, he's more like a stray cat than anything. He only wanders home every few days or so, looking for a hot meal and a change of clothes." Ryou averted his face from Joey's searching gaze, and his eyes fell upon a framed photo sitting atop the fireplace mantle. He picked it up and examined it closely. The picture featured a teenaged Mokuba sporting a jaunty Santa's hat and smiling brightly for the camera. In his arms he clutched a small, grey kitten. "Speaking of which, I didn't know that the Kaibas owned a cat."

Joey took the photo from Ryou's hand. "Oh, you mean Dragon? He was a bit before my time, actually. I think he died right before Seto and I started datin', since I've only ever seen him in home movies a couple of times." He chuckled to himself. "That cat had this freaky soundin' purr that kinda reminded me of a really bad opera singer warmin' up before a performance. Seto once told me that it was because Dragon was some fancy breed called a..." He handed the frame over to Ryou, and thought back for a moment. "A Russian Blue, is what I think he said. Apparently, they're all supposed to sound like that."

Ryou continued to gaze wistfully at the photograph. "What happened to him?"

Joey shrugged. "They took him to get neutered at the vet's office, and he had a bad reaction to the anesthesia. Poor little guy just never woke up. Mokuba was totally heartbroken, and ever since, he's refused all of Seto's offers to get him a new pet."

Ryou brushed his fingers across the glass and murmured quietly, "He's never mentioned Dragon before..."

Joey furrowed his brow. "Uh, no... he doesn't really like to talk about it." When had Ryou and Mokuba ever had the opportunity to trade mutual tragedies, anyway?

Straightening, Ryou replaced the photo where he had found it, and plastered a fake smile on his face. "I'm sorry; what were we talking about again?"

"Well, before you awkwardly changed the subject, you were about to fill me in on why you've been so gloomy lately. Jeez, and I thought _I _was clumsy about these kinds of things..."

"Am I really that obvious?"

"Face it, buddy. You wear your heart on your sleeve." Joey patted his lap. "Now come over here and dish to ole Santie"

Ryou laughed out loud in spite of himself. "You may be able get me to spill my guts, but I'm most certainly _not _going to sit on your lap. For one thing, I don't know where it's been."

Joey feigned offense. "Alright, but it's your loss, little boy. Seriously though, what's been eatin' at you?"

Flopping down on the sofa next to Joey, Ryou let out a pent-up sigh. "I'm just confused, I guess."

"Matters of the heart?"

Ryou peered at him suspiciously. "You're not psychic by any chance, are you?"

"Nope, I just pay attention. Can't really afford to pay much else. Are you havin' problems with your, uh... lady love?"

Smiling to himself, Ryou drawled, "I suppose you could say that. I've been seeing someone steadily for a while now, but I'm not sure if it's really going anywhere. I guess the holidays are making me maudlin, but I thought it was pretty serious until just recently. We fought over something ridiculous, and now I'm not sure where I stand."

"Damn, Ry. You're pretty good at keepin' secrets, aren't you? Does anyone else know about this?"

"No, and I'd appreciate it if you kept this just between the two of us." Despite the fact that he was practically Bakura's identical twin, Ryou's attempt to come across as menacing was somewhat less than convincing.

"My lips are sealed unless you say otherwise. What was the fight about?"

Ryou leaned his head back on the couch. "Ugh, it just seems so silly now. We fought simply because I was mad that I haven't been introduced to the family yet. I argued that it was an important sign of commitment, especially around Christmas, and well... let's just say that the other party didn't quite agree."

"So now you're thinkin' that she's ashamed of you?"

"It's a bit more complicated than that, but yes, that's mostly what it boils down to."

Joey turned sideways to look Ryou in the eye. "Lately, it seems like I've been handin' out advice to the lovelorn left and right, and I'm not gonna break my streak now, if that's alright with you." The other boy nodded. "OK, good. I'd say that you've got nothin' to stress over, because your options are clear. This sounds like it could go one of two ways: if it's as serious as you say it is, then this chick is probably gonna come around and haul you home to meet the folks. Now, it may not be for a nice ham dinner on Christmas day, but if it's meant to last between the two of you, it'll happen soon. Especially now that she's gotten this big wake up call about how important it is to you. Catch my drift?"

"I think so, yes."

"But... if she doesn't happen to feel the same way about you, then she's gonna drop you like a hot rock now that you've started yappin' about commitment. If that's the case, then you've got no worries there, either, because she wasn't worth your time in the first place. Harsh, but true."

"I think you may be right, Joey. It seems rather simple when I look at it from your perspective."

"Hey, simple is my middle name after all." Joey reached over and ruffled Ryou's ivory hair. "Seriously though; you're a great guy Ryou, and what's more, you're a great judge of character. If you've been together for a while now, then there must be something there. I don't think you would have stuck around very long if you really thought there was no future for you two, right? You and I are a lot alike in that respect, I think."

"Honestly Joey, if we weren't both so young, I wouldn't hesitate to say that this is it; this is _the _one."

"See? I knew you were onto somethin' there! Just be patient. God knows I've had to suck it up and deal with enough of Seto's relationship weirdness in the past..."

Ryou's eyes widened in curiosity, but Joey placated him with a pat to the back of his hand. "I've said enough about me and Seto's sordid history today. Another tale for another time, my friend."

The two sat on the couch in companionable silence for a long time afterward, listening to the sounds of softly muted Christmas music and the crackling fireplace. The tree in the corner cast twinkling, colourful stars over their still figures, and as the night drifted closer and closer toward the magic hour, conversation became sparse and sleepy at best. At some point, one of the pair had demonstrated the presence of mind to get up and place a warm fleece throw over them both, and before long, they lay huddled together in restful slumber. Keeping true to the holiday spirit, Ryou slept in heavenly peace, and if Joey had had the faintest idea what a sugarplum looked like, visions of them surely would have been dancing in his head.

**xxxxxxxxxxXXXXXxxxxxxxxxx**

tbc

Author's note:

Items used in this chapter:

(8) Mokuba wearing a Santa hat holding a purring blue kitten named Dragon.

(9) A large singing holly wreath.

(10) A parking ticket.

(11) One dozen anatomically correct gingerbread men cookies.

Word Count:

5537 this chapter / 17001 total thus far


	6. Chapter 5

Title: **Wish** (5/9)

Author: **WhosJeebus**

Rating: M

Pairing(s): Joey/Seto, scads of others, & even a few surprises

Beta: Jennie B.

Spoilers: None

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, but if someone wants to give it to me as a Christmas gift, I certainly won't argue about it...

Summary: Seto won't be home for the holidays, but can Joey's friends and family manage to show him a holly jolly time, anyway? Sometimes, Christmas miracles happen in the most unexpected of ways...

Rant: Seems it's Monday again already, folks. My, how time does fly when you're ficcing like no one has ever ficced before in the history of ficdom. Yeah, that's right. I'm STILL working on that my round robin chapter. I wonder if I can fake my own death and get out of it...?

Well, only 7 reviews for chapter 4, and while I'm always happy that my stuff gets ANY reviews whatsoever, it's still rather disheartening to see the number slowly taper off like that. I guess I'm not doing such a good job at holding your interest, and I apologize for that.

Chapter 5 is an extra, super-duper long (deluxe edition!) installment, and I hope you'll take the time to tell me whether you liked it or not. I answer every signed review individually, and questions/comments/constructive crit is always welcome.

I'll see you again next Monday, (post Super Bowl) or at the 45 review mark, whichever comes first! And just so you know, I DO keep my eye on the daily stats for 'Wish', so when/if we actually reach 45, Chapter 6 will follow verra, verra soon (like, immediately!) afterward! (01/30/06)

**xxxxxxxxxxXXXXXxxxxxxxxxx**

Chapter 5:

(4 days 'til Christmas)

A ringing phone woke Ryou from his slumber, and he scrabbled frantically at the stifling blanket that covered him. His head was pillowed on a firm, warm chest, and he was surrounded by opaque darkness, broken only here and there by flashing, colourful lights. The phone rang again, startling him and causing even further disorientation. Where was he again? And what was that awful, rasping sound? He fumbled one arm out from under the covers, and grabbed the handset off the end table. Without thinking, he murmured sleepily into the receiver, "Hullo?"

There was a significant pause, in which Ryou nearly succeeded in nodding off again, and then Seto Kaiba's bewildered voice cut through the haze of his sleep-addled brain. "Ryou?"

Oh, crap. _Now _he remembered... "Uh... yes?"

Seto's voice still sounded confused, but now there was a slight edge to it, as well. "Would you be so kind as to put Joey on the phone?"

"Um... alright." He nudged Joey with his foot, but the blond only made a strangled, wheezing gasp and flopped over onto his side. A moment later, the snoring resumed, louder than ever. Not knowing if he was helping or hurting matters, Ryou spoke hesitantly into the phone, "Kaiba? I need to put the phone down for a minute, OK? I'm having a bit of difficulty waking him."

"Fine."

That familiar, snappish tone didn't bode well at all. Ryou looked around the room briefly, squinting at the illuminated clock on the mantle -- it was already 6:30 in the morning. He _really _hoped that Kaiba hadn't gotten the wrong idea... "Joey!" He gave his friend's shoulder a rough shake. "Joey! Wake up! Kaiba's on the phone!" He thrust the handset in the other boy's face and repeated himself again, praying that the urgency in voice would penetrate that stubborn skull.

Groaning, Joey reflexively grabbed the proffered phone and stuck it to the side of his head. "Huzza-whaa?"

"Good morning, Mutt. Mind telling me what's going on between you and Ryou?"

Joey licked his lips and moved his jaw back and forth a few times, as if testing to see if it still worked properly. He hadn't yet bothered to open his eyes. "Seto? 'Zat you? Whaa time-zit?"

"It's six thirty your time. Now, what's Ryou doing in bed with you?"

He sat up and yawned widely, slitting his eyes open and peering over at Ryou, who was quietly edging himself off of the sofa. "Oh. We're not in bed; we just fell asleep together on the couch. Him and Bakura brought me cookies yesterday, just like you told 'em to, right?"

"I asked them to drop by and visit with you to cheer you up, but I most certainly did _not _tell either of them to spend the --" Seto had fallen right into Joey's trap, it seemed. "Shit."

Joey jumped off the couch and pumped his fist in the air triumphantly. "Hah! I _knew _it! You sneaky bastard!" He danced around the room as he spoke, giving Ryou a friendly little bump with his hip. "That's so sweet! I had no idea you had it in ya! What other Christmas spirits are gonna come visit me this week, Mr. Marley?"

The icicles in Seto's voice had thawed a bit, but he wasn't going to accept the abrupt subject change so easily. "Yes, well... I was worried about you, and I didn't want you to be alone for the holidays. I've merely asked Yugi to help me get the word out." He cleared his throat lightly. "But that's beside the point. I'm still waiting on your explanation as to why you were sleeping with Ryou."

"Excuse me? Just what are you implying?"

Ryou stood off to one side, his eyes becoming wider and wider as he listened in to the one-sided conversation. He clutched the blanket around himself tighter and shivered slightly. He'd really stepped in it this time.

"I'm not _implying _anything. I'm asking straight up whether or not you and Ryou had sex. Should I use smaller words, perhaps?"

Joey's face went alarmingly pale, then skipped red completely and shot straight to livid purple. "Why you --" he sputtered, his rage swallowing the words before they could even be uttered.

Seto's tone was smug, superior. "What? It's not like you haven't tomcatted around on me before, Joey. Is it really so surprising that I would assume that to be the case this time as well? Even if you _are _making a fool out of me behind my back, I want to know about it."

"Tomcatted? You know damn well I only went out with that guy so you'd get off your lazy ass and make our relationship an exclusive deal!" His voice dropped lower, and Ryou knew that Kaiba would do well to heed the menacing quality that lay just underneath. "We've been through this already, Seto! Do _not _pull this shit on me now."

"What exactly am I supposed to think, Joey? I try to get in a quick phone call before my meeting, just to see how you're doing, and _Ryou _answers the phone? It's obvious that neither of you were even awake! What would _you _think about something like that in my situation, hmm?"

"I wouldn't think anything of it, because I TRUST MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND, DAMMIT!" Ryou cringed and shuffled a little closer to the doorway. Maybe he should just make himself scarce...

Seto gave an exasperated sigh, and even from 3000 miles away, the sound made the hair on the back of Joey's neck rise up from sheer irritation. From past dealings with Seto, he knew very well when he was about to be dismissed. "Look Joey; I don't have time to get into this right now, or I'm going to be late for my meeting. Just answer the question, and we can both be on our way."

Joey whipped around and met Ryou's gaze with his own. Amber eyes blazed with white-hot anger, and the other boy found himself taking an involuntary step backwards. "You want an answer to your question, do ya? Well, I'll just give you one then..." The plastic of the handset creaked and bulged under the pressure of Joey's furious grip. "Hell yeah, me and Ry were gettin' it on! We must've fucked in every room of the mansion! We were like deranged bunnies all night long, I tell ya! He's got this _massive _dick; you wouldn't even believe it. Makes the lumber you're packin' look like a freakin' pea shooter! Oh, and that's not all! Bakura even joined in on the action! He's in the shower right now -- want me to take the phone in there so you can ask _him _about it, too?"

"God dammit, Joey..."

"On second thought, I'd better leave him alone for awhile. I gave it to him pretty hard last night, so he's probably still sore. I'll be sure to fill you in on all the details some other time. I'll say one thing though, 5000 years is a long time to practice sucking cock. You have _got _to hit that shit when you get back."

"If you're not going to take the matter seriously, then I see no need to continue this asinine conversation."

"Fine by me! Go fuck yourself, Kaiba."

"Oh grow up, Wheeler."

Joey slammed the handset back into its cradle with a brutal crash. "Fucking bastard!" He turned and kicked the side of the couch with all the force he could muster, forgetting that he wasn't wearing any shoes at the moment. "Gaaahhh!" Hopping around the back of the sofa on one foot, he grabbed the phone by the base and yanked it out of the wall, cord and all.

"Um, Joey? Maybe you should have a seat and try to calm down a bit." Ryou sidled closer to the fuming boy. "Come on, before you go and do something rash..." Joey hurled the phone into the fireplace, spitting curses that were periodically interspersed with Seto's name. "Like that."

"Y'know what? I don't need this shit. He can go fuck himself for all I care."

"Yes, I believe you've already invited him to do so."

Joey scrubbed his fingers through his hair. "I did?" He gave a nervous laugh. "Wow. It's just... I get so _mad_ at him sometimes..."

Ryou put his arm around his friend. "I understand. At least, I think I do. I'm sure you both said some terrible things, and I just wanted to let you know that when Kaiba comes back, feel free to have him contact me. That is, if he wants to know what _really_ happened." He lowered his lashes and smiled mischievously. "Although, your version of events was pretty exciting, too."

Joey groaned. "Crapcakes. I'm never gonna live this down, am I? Promise me you won't mention anything I said to B, OK?"

"Just be sure to stay on my good side, then." Ryou gave Joey a fierce hug, and then stepped back and began folding up the fleece blanket they had shared. "I need to get home, Joey. Are you going to be alright?"

"Yeah, I'm good. I've gotta get ready for work so I don't really have time to worry about Seto's damage right now. I'll deal with the fallout later, I guess." He flopped back onto the leather couch and propped up his aching foot on a stack of throw pillows. "I dunno how I'm gonna get around at work with broken toes, though. God, I'm so _stupid_!"

Ryou bent down to examine the injury, manipulating the digits slowly back and forth as Joey winced. "They're not broken, or even fractured, in my opinion. Just soak your foot in warm water before you go to work and try to stay off of it as much as possible before and after."

"I should probably soak my head while I'm at it. So, I guess med school's really good for somethin', huh?"

Ryou smiled. "It had better be. I need something to show my father that justifies all those outrageous checks he's been writing for the past two years." Ryou placed the folded blanket back where it belonged, and reached for his coat. When Joey struggled to get up, he placed one palm on the blond's chest and shoved him back down. "You stay put. I can show myself out, and I'll just hail a cab once I get down the block." He whirled around and took several steps toward the doorway, only to walk smack dab into Mokuba, who was just coming around the corner from the opposite direction.

Instinctively, Mokuba reached out both hands to steady what his drowsy eyes perceived as nothing more than a fast-moving, white blur. As his vision cleared, and he realized exactly what, or rather _who, _he was clutching in his arms, he immediately stepped back in surprise. Ryou fell clumsily against his chest with a muffled 'oof!', while the taller boy merely goggled down at him. "Ryou? What are _you_ doing here?"

He pushed himself back upright, adjusting his rumpled clothing and giving the shirtless teen a lingering once-over. "Good morning, Mokuba," he said haughtily. "To answer your question, not that it's any of your business mind you, but Joey was kind enough to let me stay the night. I was just on my way out. Merry Christmas." With an exaggeratedly casual stroll, Ryou made his way toward the exit.

"Right. Um, merry Christmas to you, too." Mokuba stood just inside the den, absently rubbing at his chest and staring after the white-haired boy's departure.

"Earth to Mokuba!"

"Huh?"

"I just asked you twice if there was somethin' you needed?" Joey prompted.

"Oh, yeah... yeah. Uh, Seto's been calling my cell phone for the last ten minutes, waking me up and ranting about 'that unreasonable son of a bitch'. I assumed he was referring to you, by default." Mokuba held the phone up in one hand. "He wants you to call him back."

Joey turned his nose up in the air. "I'll call him later. If he wants reasonable, then he'll just have to wait 'til this little vein in my forehead stops throbbin'." As an afterthought, he added, "Which _ain't_ gonna be any time real soon."

Mokuba shrugged. "Figured as much. That's why I didn't just put him on hold." He stuck the phone in the pocket of his pajama pants and leveled his gaze at Joey. "Do you mind if I ask what Ryou was doing spending the night? Is there something going on that I should know about?"

"Oh, for Christ's sake! Not you too!" Joey flung a pillow at the younger, equally presumptuous Kaiba brother, and covered his face with his hands. "Go back to bed, Mokuba. It's nothin'."

"Whatever," he yawned, stretching his long limbs. "You don't have to tell me twice. By the way, you'd better get your ass moving if you don't want to be late for work."

Joey gave a weary sigh as he climbed to his feet. "Yes, dear." Limping slowly up the stairs, he realized that he was going to be hard pressed to focus on his job today, in spite of all the holiday mayhem. Seto's harsh words still rang in his ears, and he couldn't help but worry that their first Christmas together might just be their last.

**XXXXX**

Eight maddening, grueling hours later, the same issues still weighed heavily on Joey's mind as he made his way up the steps of the mansion's private entrance. All he wanted was a nice hot shower, followed by a stiff drink, and _then _maybe he'd think about calling Seto back.

As he dug around in his pocket for his key card, he was suddenly accosted by two heavily bundled figures. As they crept out of the snowy night and advanced slowly on his position, Joey likened them to a pair of roly-poly ninjas, and he ceased being the slightest bit intimidated the moment he spied familiar, spiky hair on the shorter of the two. The ghostly figures wrapped their arms around him and hoisted him off his feet with comical ease, dragging him backwards through the snow and toward a waiting vehicle. The couple giggled madly the entire way. "Yami, what the hell are you doin'?" With his disguise now thwarted, Yami simply laughed all the louder, refusing to answer.

"Don't be afraid, Joey," a deep, feminine voice replied. "We're kidnapping you for your own good."

"Kidnapping me? What --? Ishizu, is that you?"

Another giggle. "Yes."

"Aren't you supposed to be the sensible half of this dynamic duo?"

"Joey, I'm hurt," Yami said with mock sincerity. "Don't you trust us?"

"Look. It's not that I don't trust you, it's just that I'm tired and I don't wanna go anywhere or do anything right now, OK? Plus, I've still got a _ton _of stuff to do to get ready for my big dinner on Sunday, and I don't have time to fool around. I know that Seto put you up to this for Christmas, but I'm really not --"

Yami's voice turned sour. "This has nothing to do with Christmas."

"Oh, right. I forgot you were pullin' a Scrooge this year. My bad." Joey rolled his eyes and attempted to get his feet under him again, to no avail. "At least tell me where we're goin', will ya?"

Ishizu opened the car door and gave Joey a nudge inside. "First, we're going to see a movie, in the hopes that it will take your mind off of Seto's absence."

Yami climbed into the back seat with his friend, oblivious to the irritated glare that his girlfriend directed at him from behind his back. "And then we're going to get you drunk, so you'll forget all about him for good."

"After the day I've had, I'm actually OK with that plan. Can you see fit to feedin' me while you're at it?"

Yami shook his head sadly, his voice dripping with false sympathy. "We're on a budget, Joey. You can have popcorn and M & M's at the theatre, but that's it."

"That's fine, but don't expect me to put out later, you cheap bastard."

"Lighten up. Besides, it's better to get shit-faced on an empty stomach." And if anyone knew that for a fact, it was the former pharaoh. Back in a solitary, physical form for the first time in five millennia, he had continually shocked and amazed his group of friends by demonstrating his finely honed drinking skills. The phrase 'functional alcoholic' was often heard bandied about, mostly by Seto, whom Yami had once jokingly referred to as 'a two beer queer'.

As Yami and Joey continued to clown around in the back, Ishizu silently navigated the streets of Domino City, occasionally glancing in the rearview mirror with a troubled expression. Yami's recent behaviour had been disturbing, and his continued unwillingness to discuss what was bothering him only made matters worse. Tonight, he'd chosen to ignore their relationship problems entirely, and focus on his friend instead. She'd tried talking with him about it before they left to 'kidnap' Joey, but he had stubbornly insisted that everything was alright. She _wanted _to believe Yami, but she couldn't ignore the niggling suspicion that he was pushing her away for a reason. Sighing to herself, she parked the car and announced their arrival, interrupting what appeared to be a heated discussion of 'Hermos could _so_ kick Timaeus' ass'. Maybe a night of debauchery would do them _all _some good.

Joey blinked and looked around him, only now realizing that the car had actually stopped moving. "Oh hey, are we there already? Wait a minute. Are we on campus?"

"Yep. You probably would have noticed that already, if your head wasn't so far up your ass."

Giving Yami a friendly punch in the arm, Joey opined, "Y'know, I think I liked you better when you were just droll, as opposed to bein' a raging smartass."

Ishizu smiled and kissed Yami on the cheek. "I blame Yugi."

Joey followed his two friends around the front of the building and stood in the ticket line behind them, squinting up at the theatre marquee with confusion writ all over his face. "Uh, guys... that's not English..."

Ishizu raised her delicate eyebrows at him in surprise. "Yami didn't tell you? We thought you might enjoy a foreign film for a change. It's supposed to be a big critical hit."

"You're wasting your breath, Ishizu. To Joey, a critical hit is when he wipes the floor with Kaiba at Mortal Kombat."

"Hey! I resent that! I'm perfectly capable of hangin' with the rest of you brainy types at the artsy fartsy theatre! I went and got myself a rich sugar daddy, so I'm all cultured and shit now!" A number of people in line ahead of them turned around, frowning imperiously at the blond's loud outburst. Joey smiled brightly and gave them the middle-fingered salute. After a moment, just to prove how refined he truly was, he let them have it with both barrels.

Ishizu blushed and made apologetic hand motions, whereas Yami merely guffawed and clapped Joey on the back. "Oh yeah, you're a right proper gentleman now; that's plain to see. Just relax and go with the flow, Joey."

"The last time someone said that to me, I ended up losin' my cherry..." Joey muttered under his breath.

"What was that, Joey?" Ishizu asked politely.

"Oh, uh... I just said that it couldn't hurt to give it a try, I guess."

"I'm sure you'll be pleased. Besides, it will be a nice change from those shoot 'em up action movies you boys watch all the time."

Joey scuffed his feet on the sidewalk and shoved his hands deep into the front pockets of his jeans. "But I _like_ those shoot 'em up action movies..."

"What? I'm sorry; you'll just have to speak up if you want me to be able to hear you over this wind..."

Joey waved her off with a strained smile plastered to his face, and resigned himself to giving the 'critical hit' a chance. At least he was out of the house and sufficiently distracted from his troubles for the time being.

Once inside, Ishizu handed them their tickets and hurried away to procure seating. As she disappeared around the corner, the two boys immediately veered off in separate directions; Yami was drawn toward the video games like a moth to the flame, whereas Joey followed his nose and stomach over to the concession stand.

"I'd like an extra large tub of popcorn please, and roll me in butter, would ya?"

Yami snuck up behind him and rested his chin on Joey's shoulder. "That's going to go straight to your thighs, you know."

Joey elbowed his friend in the midriff and addressed the surly teenager behind the counter again. "I'll also take the biggest bag of peanut M & M's you got hidin' back there, and my friend here will have a large helpin' of shut the hell up." He turned around to regard Yami with a smirk. "Thought we'd lost you to the arcade for the next five or six hours."

Yami sighed forlornly. "No; all the video games here are at least as old as I am, and out of order to boot. Looks like we're both stuck watching this damn chick flick."

Joey laughed. "Weren't you the one tellin' _me _to go with the flow just a little while ago?"

"That was because I knew Ishizu was listening in. I have to choose my battles carefully, as I'm sure you've figured out in your own relationship by now."

Grimly, he nodded in agreement, momentarily brought back to reality by the mention of 'battles' and 'relationship' in the same sentence. He was _not _looking forward to returning Seto's call later. Maybe it was for the best that Yami had promised alcohol in great quantities after the movie. A little liquid courage couldn't hurt matters, right?

Taking their purchases with them, Yami and Joey crept into the darkened movie theatre and located Ishizu, sitting in the very back row. Joey was about to jokingly comment on how she'd managed to choose the best make-out spot in the house, but as he sat down in the seat to her right, Yami deftly maneuvered himself over to the opposite side of his friend. Ishizu was plainly irritated, and it seemed that Joey had no choice except to play the literal 'monkey in the middle'. Once again, Yami seemed oblivious to his callous actions, and the hurt that had flashed across Ishizu's face. What the hell was going on between these two? Since they'd gotten together just a few months ago, both Joey and Seto had grudgingly referred to the two Egyptians as the perfect couple, and whenever they'd had the opportunity to double date, the two boys had returned home throwing, "Why can't you be thoughtful like Yami?" or "You never treat me as nice as Ishizu does _her _boyfriend!" accusations at each other. What could possibly be the cause of such trouble in paradise?

Putting the matter on the back burner for the time being, Joey turned his attention to the screen, and his lap full of junk food. All of the M & M's and most of the popcorn were gone by the time the opening credits had wrapped up, and he was already fighting the urge to fidget. Fifteen minutes in, he was yawning, but still determined to keep his eyes on the rapidly scrolling subtitles. Jesus. Who knew there could be so much _talking _in one stupid film? Fifteen minutes after that, he was completely out of food and drink, and had stopped trying to puzzle out which crying chick was supposed to be Yvonne, and why on earth she was in love with the equally weepy Francois -- _both_ of whom, in Joey's aesthetic opinion, could use a thorough wax job. Pepe le Pew was the most in-depth experience he'd ever had with French cinema, and from what he'd seen so far, he was fine with keeping it that way. Give him some good, old-fashioned explosions and alien invasions any day. After all, _those _were what God, in His infinite wisdom, had intended big screens and surround sound for in the first place. Which probably explained why he went to the movies with Yugi more than anyone else, he mused. Seto enjoyed going out to the movies as much as any other regulal twenty-something with virtually no social life to speak of, but he preferred intelligent, suspense thrillers and gritty courtroom dramas over car chases and gunfire. Go figure. They could usually compromise on the occasional murder mystery or mild horror film, but that was only after they'd argued over it for a couple of hours first. Ah, the beauty of foreplay.

Joey slumped down in his seat and sighed loudly, receiving several angry versions of, "SSSHHH!" from various patrons of the arts. He just couldn't help it. Here he was, out on the town with his friends and _supposed _to be trying to have a good time, but his mind kept returning to his fight with Seto again and again. He had accomplished virtually nothing tonight, except for inadvertently erecting a barrier between Ishizu and Yami, and making himself miserable with thoughts of his missing lover. Merry freaking Christmas.

Hurt and indignation aside, Seto _had _acted like an ass, but Joey knew that if this situation was to be remedied, then _he'd _have to be the one to take the first step toward reconciliation. Seto's stubborn pride refused to allow him to be the apologetic party in virtually _any _situation, and Joey had accepted that, sometimes even _admired _such a quality in his boyfriend. It's just the way he was wired, and Joey couldn't fault him for something so out of his control, any more than he could blame him for having been born with brown hair and blue eyes. Somehow, he'd have to find a way to get past the anger that was still boiling his blood whenever he thought back to Seto's outrageous accusations, and find a way to fix this. With that end in mind, he was _so _looking forward to getting smashed after this snoozefest was finally over with.

**XXXXX**

To Joey, it felt like ten hours had passed when they re-emerged from the stifling theatre, but Ishizu curtly informed him that it had been a mere two and a half hours from beginning to end -- the latter part of which he'd spent snoring constantly, and with impressive volume.

Yami put an arm around Ishizu's shoulders and gave her a warm squeeze. "Don't feel bad about it, Ishizu, " he soothed. "It was worth a shot, but I guess Joey's just not Pygmalion material."

Joey narrowed his eyes at them. "What'd you call me?"

Laughing, the couple linked elbows with their friend and led him several blocks through the snow, finally stopping in front of a nondescript brick building that looked like it had seen better days. Back around the time of the Civil War, perhaps. A sputtering, neon sign proclaimed their destination to be 'La Cave', and while Joey entered the establishment with trepidation, he was nonetheless eager to get out of the cold and begin the festivities. To his surprise, the inside was clean and modern, if somewhat dimly lit, and appeared to be evenly populated by a mix of stodgy professor types in bow ties and tweed, and those of college age, like themselves.

The bartender seemed to recognize both Yami and Ishizu, and he nodded to them, pointing to a round table in the back of the room. Joey hung up his coat and eagerly perused the menu, but was baffled by what he found there. "Yami? It's all in French!"

"No it's not. There's Italian and Portuguese on there too. La Cave is a wine bar, Joey. Ishizu stumbled onto this place when she was walking home from the museum one day, and it turns out that they have one of the best selections in Domino."

"Oh. I don't know nothin' about wine, though."

Ishizu smiled at him patiently. "You don't know _anything _about wine."

Joey furrowed his brow. "Yeah. S' what I just said."

Yami took the menu from him and flipped through the pages. "Here. I'll order for you, then."

"Heh. In that case, this'll be just like goin' out with Seto." Dammit. He'd gone and done it _again_. Any mention or thought of the brunet triggered a sharp ache in his chest, but now was not the time to agonize over such things. He had to get down to some serious drinking if he was going to try and hold his own with Yami. "Listen, whatever you choose, just make sure it's strong."

Four bottles of Shiraz later, Ishizu had a slight, pink tinge to her cheeks, Yami was smiling a hell of a lot more than usual, and Joey felt like he had wandered head first into some sort of spatial distortion. The front door of the bar seemed light years away from their corner table, and the walls had taken on a stretched, funhouse mirror aspect. The floor was rippled in the same manner, and the thought of potentially having to navigate his way to the restroom and back caused a short bout of panic. He felt as if he'd been sitting in the same spot for eons, and if he were to step outside right now, he might find that a lifetime had passed since he'd first entered. Whoa. Trippy.

Yami was leaning over toward him, saying something about how sorry he was that Seto couldn't make it back into town, but they were all trying their best to make Joey's holiday season special. The well-intentioned sentiment made him feel a bit like laughing and crying at the same time. Seto? Seto who? "I 'preciate it, you know," he slurred, leaning his forehead against Yami's own. "I know he put you guys up to it, but you didn't have to go all out like this or nothin'." He raised his wineglass in a drunken toast. "Merry Christmas anyway, man."

Ishizu joined him in his tipsy salute with a murmured, "Here, here," but Joey's keen eyes didn't miss Yami's hesitant frown as he put his own glass forward. 'Bah, humbug' was tattooed all over the former pharaoh's face, more prominent than any Sennen eye.

Joey opened his mouth to ask the obvious question, wondering why it had never occurred to him to bring it up before, but Ishizu chose that particular moment to stand up abruptly, sloshing wine over her hand in the process. "I think I see one of my colleagues over at the bar. Would you two excuse me for a moment, please?"

After she had flitted off to chat with some middle-aged chap in thick glasses, Joey turned back toward his friend, wracking his brain for what he'd just been about to say. 'I love you man!' seemed the most urgent expression he wanted to convey, but no matter how heartfelt it may have been, that phrase didn't quite manage to properly jog his memory. Oh, yeah. _Now_ he remembered. "Hey Yams, why the fuck d'you hate Christmas so much? Never seemed to bother you before..."

Yami set his glass back down on the table with a sigh. Propping one elbow on the back of his chair, he leaned back and stared obstinately at the ceiling. "I don't hate Christmas per se, it's just that it reminds me of things that I don't like to think about too often."

"Like, what kind of things?"

"You're nosey when you're drunk, aren't you?"

"M' not drunk."

Yami laughed, and then hiccupped. "Sure. Now pull the other leg."

"Seriously, what's it remind you of? Stuff from your past?"

It was obvious that Yami was reticent to reveal what had been eating at him lately, but Joey was already well on the other side of blitzed, and all propriety had flown out the window by the second downed glass. Inebriated as he was, Joey managed to listen attentively as Yami spoke on the matter at last. "Just... festivals and things of the like. Holidays and ceremonies back in ancient Egypt. Thinking along those lines tends to bring reality crashing down on me a bit too harshly, I suppose."

Joey tipped sideways off his chair, catching himself just in time. "I don't understand."

Yami studied his finely manicured fingernails intently for a moment, and then clenched his fists together tightly. "I was a _king _back then, Joey. I was worshipped as a god. I had everything handed to me on a silver platter -- literally -- and everyone around me scurried to do my bidding with a mere snap of my fingers." He smirked. "Including your obstinate boyfriend." Yami suddenly leaned forward, his crimson eyes blazing into Joey's own. "If we were back in ancient Egypt, I could have you put to death _instantly _for daring to meet my eyes like you're doing right now."

Joey quickly averted his gaze and swallowed nervously. "So, what you're sayin' is that the holidays make you long for the days of yore?" He chuckled. "I think they're supposed to, actually. And man, did you have some _serious _yore..."

Shrugging nonchalantly, Yami drained his wineglass in one gulp. "That's just it. I don't miss it at _all. _In fact, I'm happier now than I've ever been in five millennia."

"Say whaa? Then what's got your panties in such a twist?"

"What have I got to show for it all now, Joey? Who am I today? Sure, I'm happy, but what do others see when they look at me, or think about me? I used to command armies of thousands, every last soldier ready to die for me if I gave the word, and now I man a cash register at a game shop. Yet I absolutely _love _what I do. I get to be around games all day long, I get to talk to people with the same interests, and spend time with my friends whenever I want. If I could help run the game shop every day for the rest of my life, I could die a happy man. It's enough for me, but what about --" He clamped his mouth shut, afraid that he had already said too much. As far as Joey was concerned, the heart-wrenching doubt on Yami's face as he stared across the bar at Ishizu had filled in all the remaining blanks.

"You're afraid that she's in love with the pharaoh, and not the man, am I right?" He snapped his fingers. "That's why you refuse to let anyone call you Atemu, isn't it?"

Sullenly, Yami flicked his wineglass with one elegant finger, tipping it over. "Bingo. What do you want? A cookie?"

Joey was ecstatic. "No, this is great! The same thing happened between Seto and me!" He paused, giving himself a solid slap to the forehead. "Fuck! I'm starting to feel like Dr. Phil here!"

"Quit babbling and start making some sense. What do you mean, 'the same thing'?"

Joey grabbed Yami's hand in both of his, yanking him close. "See, Seto worried constantly that whoever he got involved with was only interested in his money, or his power, or his really huge... err, company, and that no one would appreciate him for who he really is. It's the same sitch!"

Yami nodded, grudgingly admitting that he now had something _else _in common with Seto Kaiba. "I agree it's similar, but how did you get past it?"

"Easy! I told him that the only truth to be found was with the other person in the relationship. If there's trust and love there, then that's the only answer you'll ever need."

"That's it?"

"That's it."

Yami pulled his hand back, laughing. "Don't take this the wrong way Joey, but that sounds pretty lame."

"Stop and think about it for just a minute, will ya? Work with me, here." Joey stood up on shaky legs and walked behind the other boy's chair. He took Yami's head in his hands and gently turned his face toward the bar. "Look over there at Ishizu, and answer my questions with the first thing that pops into your head, OK?"

Yami nodded hesitantly.

"Do you love her?"

"More than anything."

"Does she love you?"

Ashamed, Yami nodded again.

"No, that's a good thing. You can beat yourself up for bein' a shit to her after we're done here. Last question, and it's a two-parter: Do you trust her judgment, and do you think that Ishizu is the type of shallow person who would love you even if you pretended to be somethin' you're not? She's _not_ Téa, so don't sell her short."

Yami put his face into his hands. "I'm such an idiot."

"Nah, you just had a revelation is all. Sometimes they're really good, like when you reach into a bag of Oreos thinkin' they're all gone, but then you find one more in there!" Joey smiled wistfully. "Damn, I _love_ when that happens... Anyway, you didn't have such a good revelation this time, but that doesn't make it any less important, does it?" He patted Yami awkwardly on the shoulder. "You're a great friend, and a natural born leader, even when you're not wearin' a crown. People respect you, and follow you, and _listen _to you because of who you are _now_, not because of what you were back then."

"I should have made you one of my counselors in ancient Egypt, instead of just a concu -- uh, never mind. Exactly when did you become so wise?"

Joey shrugged. "Hell if I know. This is probably just the booze talkin'." He took another sip of wine. "So you'll forgive me when I say that you've been a real ass to her lately, and that's just from what I've seen _tonight. _If you love her and plan on keepin' her, then you've got some hardcore apologizing to do."

"You do it for me."

Laughing, Joey refilled his wineglass. "Good one."

Yami grabbed the front of Joey's t-shirt and pulled him in, meeting nose to nose. "I'm perfectly serious. Go over to the bar and feel her out some; find out how pissed she is at me. Please?"

"I'm pretty drunk right now, Yams. For a minute there, I thought you said to feel her _up." _He grinned widely as Yami just glared at him. "Are you sure that _I'm _the messenger boy you want doin' your dirty work?"

"I said please. I _never_ say please."

"OK, fine! But we're not in middle school anymore y'know! Wait, were you _ever_ in middle school?" Joey scratched idly at the top of his head. "Forget I asked that. Hey, while I'm at it, do you wanna write _'I love you - Do you love me? - Check YES or NO_' on a napkin for me to take over there?"

Yami seemed intrigued by the concept. "Why? Do you think that would work?"

Joey walked away, rubbing at his forehead. "Royalty. Can't live with 'em, can't stage an assassination attempt." Clumsily, he made his way across the slowly spinning room and shouldered his way in against the bar. Ishizu jumped and turned around suddenly when he jostled her, and he gave her his sunniest, most disarming grin -- albeit a slightly drunken version. "Hiya Ishizu. Did your friend leave already?"

When Ishizu turned her regal, turquoise gaze on him, Joey had a hard time resisting the urge to reach up and futz with his hair, or attempt to straighten his wrinkled shirt. The smile she graced him with was warm, however, and he soon found himself becoming lost in serene pools of blue. No wonder Seto had a bit of a weird obsession with her. She was smart, hot, kinda snarky, and even though he'd been a total dick to her, she had still given him a kickass Duel Monsters card. Joey thought about all these qualities pooled together in one 36-24-36 package, and he idly wondered what the hell Seto was doing with _him_.

"My friend left some time ago, Joey. I was merely spending a few moments alone, thinking."

"Oh hey, I know what you're thinkin', and he is _totally _sorry about the way he's been actin' lately. He says it's all his fault, and he wants to make it up to you any way he can. You want diamonds, a new car, uber kinky sex? Just say the word."

Ishizu's smile grew broader. "Did he _really _say that?"

"Well, I'm kinda paraphrasing here." He looked up at her pleadingly, turning on as much of the ole Wheeler charm as he could muster in his half-inebriated state. "Look, he's finally sorted through a lot of shit, and I think he's ready to have a little heart to heart, if you're still willin' to listen to what he has to say."

"I'm not sure it's that simple anymore."

"Don't say that! This is one hundred percent a case of 'it's not you, it's me.' Fuck, I think I just confused myself. I mean it's him; it's _all _him, I swear."

"I'd like to believe that Joey, but a relationship is made up of two people."

Joey considered mentioning his younger sister's unique situation, but wisely decided that it would be simpler (and safer) to just keep his mouth shut and listen.

"I can't blame Yami for everything that's gone wrong, but at the same time, I can't think of anything I would have done differently. I'll understand if he doesn't want to continue this charade, and there was no need for you to try and salvage my feelings, Joey. It was very sweet of you, though." She leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Joey's cheek.

"Huh? You mind explainin' to me what just happened here?" God, he didn't understand women at _all_! He figured that he might as well just go ahead and upgrade his own status from 'bi' to 'gay' and be done with it. If only they didn't have such interesting bodies... Joey reluctantly pulled himself away from his bemused inner monologue when he belatedly realized that Ishizu was speaking again. That was another thing about chicks; always going on and on about relationships and feelings and yadda, yadda...

"If he wants to end it, then he should simply come over here and tell me so himself. This doesn't need to be dragged out any longer, and he certainly shouldn't put you in the middle of it, either." Her voice had taken on a slightly angry tinge, and those cool, blue orbs had frosted over. "Maybe he doesn't have the courage to admit that he was never serious about us in the first place, but that's no excuse for him to shame me by pretending to want to fix things. And using his closest friend as his puppet is equally unforgivable!"

"Now hold on just a second! Yami? No courage? Are we talkin' about the same guy here?"

Ishizu looked like she might burst into tears at any moment, and Joey hesitantly put an arm around her shoulders. Her dress was sleeveless, and the skin under his fingertips was warm and soft. He swallowed thickly and darted a glance across the room at Yami, who was currently glaring daggers at him. Best to step carefully here. "I don't know what kind of crazy notion you've gotten into your head, but he's serious about you, and wants to make this work more than _anything_. He loves you, Ishizu. Why don't you believe me?"

The tears were just beginning to overflow, and Joey was at a loss. The last crying female he'd dealt with had been his sister, and she had only been twelve at the time. "Oh Joey! I don't know what to do!" She buried her face in his chest, and for the first time all week, Joey was actually glad that Seto was out of town on business. After the infamous phone call / Ryou incident, coming home with makeup all over his shirt would be a surefire way of getting his butt kicked to the curb with lightning speed.

He smoothed a hand down the back of her sleek, ebony hair and spoke in a soothing voice, "Just let it all out, I guess. Then you can tell me why you're so convinced that Yami's out to dump you, 'cause I can tell you for sure that he's _not_."

Ishizu pulled back, dabbing at her eyes with a napkin. "I want to believe you, but..."

"But nothin'! It's true! Why would he lie about somethin' like that?"

"Because he's still in love with Téa, that's why!" She burst into tears all over again, and proceeded to cling to him like a life raft. He took another quick peek at Yami, and wasn't too thrilled by the murderous rage he saw reflected on his friend's face. Playing Mr. Fix-it with your friends' and family's love lives was one hell of a thankless task, as he was just beginning to figure out.

"Oh Jesus H. Christ, is _that _what this is all about?" If Ishizu had been a guy -- a very pretty, very _weepy_ guy -- Joey probably would have taken him by the shoulders and given him a good, rough shake. As it was, he was sorely tempted to do so anyway. But dammit, Yami was still looking over here... He decided to cut right to the chase and screw the whole 'sensitivity' thing. Ishizu and Yami both needed some sense slapped into their love-struck, melodramatic heads. And Joseph A. Wheeler was just the man to do it, too. "Look. I'm comin' down off a decent buzz here, and in about half an hour, I'm either gonna puke my guts out and pray for death, or go from zero to unconscious in three point five seconds. For everyone's sake, I hope it's the latter, but for now, I'm gonna give you the straight dope, and you're gonna listen; deal?"

Ishizu nodded and opened her mouth to speak, but Joey cut her off. "Limited lucidity here, so just lemme say my peace. Téa and Yami got together in the first place because that's what everyone and their grandmother expected them to do. Her and Yug' and Yami had been circling each other for so long, they really didn't know what else to do with themselves after Yams had his own body back. Once Yugi got with Rebecca, the two of them just sort of... wound up goin' out by default. But, it turned out that Téa wanted someone who didn't really exist anymore, and for a while at least, I guess Yami believed that he could still be that someone. Turns out they were _both _wrong, but even after all that drama, they still managed to split on good terms." Joey drew on every ounce of sincerity he could rally in his flagging state, and gently grasped Ishizu's chin, tilting her face up to meet his own. "He doesn't love Téa, he never loved Téa, and if you're thinkin' he fell for you too soon after the breakup, then that's only because he realized what he truly wanted. It's not because you're some sort of 'rebound girl', understand?"

"He told you all this?" she asked, with hope shining from her eyes once more.

Joey nodded. "Most of it. The rest was pretty easy to guess at. Right now, he feels like crap for tryin' to push you away, but he only did it because he didn't think he was good enough for you."

Ishizu shook her head vehemently at this notion.

"Yeah, I told him it was a crazy idea too, but even you have to admit he had a few good reasons to be worried. I mean, since your family was dedicated to preservin' the pharaoh's memories and worshippin' him as a god, it's no wonder he was nervous about the real thing livin' up to your ideal. Plus, you _are_ kinda obsessed with relics from ancient Egypt..."

She laughed and kissed him on the cheek again soundly. "Thank you, Joey. I think I see the situation much more clearly now. You're truly a godsend, you know that?"

"All I know is that if you don't quit slobberin' all over me, your boyfriend's gonna come over here and beat the ever livin' crap outta me. Now let's go on back to our table and you two can make with the nicey-nice, OK?"

Seated in the corner once again, Joey listened with half an ear as the two lovebirds poured their hearts out to each other, attempting to rectify several months worth of misunderstandings and hurt. Forcefully reminded of his own unfortunate situation with Seto, Joey hit the cups even harder, putting away another bottle of wine almost completely on his own. Yami had just gotten to the part where he was explaining his misgivings about Christmas when Joey sat up and interrupted with a drunken, "Oh hey! That reminds me...!" He made a casual attempt to rest his chin on his hand as he spoke, but the gesture missed entirely and he wound up doing a graceless face-plant onto the table's surface. "Ow."

Yami helped him back into a sitting position and stated the obvious: "You've had enough."

"Yeah, yeah. I know when I'm done for. I'll catch me a cab here in a sec, but I had a question for you two first. Ever hear of a festival back in ancient Egypt call the 'Nakat al Net -- um... Netjeru'?"

Yami's scarlet eyes grew as wide as saucers, and Ishizu gasped, covering her mouth with one hand.

Joey was flabbergasted. "What! Don't tell me it's a real holiday!"

Yami threw his head back and laughed long and loud. Blushing, Joey briefly considered being indignant about the whole thing, but soon forgot what he was supposed to be upset about, and simply joined in. Yami eventually regained some of his composure, wiping at his streaming face with a napkin. "Joey, I'm not sure what you mean by 'holiday', but in ancient Egypt, the words you just uttered were once considered one of the foulest epithets in existence."

"No shit?"

Ishizu concurred. "Literally translated, it means, 'the gods can kiss my ass'."

Joey considered the source for a moment. "Yeah, that sounds about right."

"That blasted tomb robber has been jerking your chain again, I take it?"

Joey nodded, smiling sheepishly. "Yeah, but at least it's not as bad as the time he tried to convince me that I was the pharaoh's royal sex slave or somethin' back in the day. I mean, come _on_! Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous?"

Yami covered his smile by taking a long sip of his remaining wine. "Of course not. Absolutely preposterous. Remind me to have a little talk with Bakura the next time I see him, would you?"

"Are you kiddin'? I'm not gonna remember any of this by mornin'." He stood up unsteadily and began tugging his wallet from his back pocket, but Ishizu stopped him by touching his wrist.

"Don't even think about it, Joey. Tonight's on us, and it's the least we can do."

"The least you can do is to show up at my big Christmas disaster on Sunday, but I assume that you crazy kids are still headin' off on your cozy ski weekend?"

Yami looked over at Ishizu and smiled warmly. Never breaking eye contact, he reached down and kissed the back of her hand, nodding absently in Joey's general direction.

"Damn. If I'd been thinkin' straight, I woulda tried harder to break you two up just so I could have at least _one _guest..." Realizing that his friends were far too lost in each other to respond to his good-natured teasing, Joey tossed a few bills down on the table for a tip, and made his way toward the exit.

It was snowing again outside, but he encountered no significant difficulty in flagging down a taxi. Christmas shoppers and their various modes of transportation abounded even at this late hour, and every ruffled-looking young man that staggered out of a bar was still a potential fare, especially when the competition was this heavy. On the long ride home, Joey reflected on Yami and Ishizu's near disastrous bout of miscommunication, and doubly resolved to mend the situation with his own lover just as soon as he got back home. Pride be damned, some things were just more important than a wounded ego, and if Seto seemed even halfway willing to work on his trust issues, then Joey would be more than happy to forgive and forget. He only hoped that Seto would be equally as open-minded about the whole thing.

Now eager to make the all important call he'd been avoiding all day long, Joey flew threw the door and into the mansion, only to be greeted by the shrill ring of the telephone. Glancing at the clock, he realized that only one person he knew would be calling here after midnight, and he hoped that it was a good sign. Shedding his coat and snow-covered shoes along the way, he ran up the stairs and into the bedroom, diving for the cordless handset and landing gracefully on top of the huge bed. "Hello? Seto?"

"Joey! Oh my God, where have you been? I was worried out of my mind!"

"Two ghosts of Christmas _way_ past showed up and took me out to get blitzened -- probably because _you_ asked them to do it, Mr. Marley. Or should I call you Mr. Cratchitt now, since you'll be workin' through your holiday?" He snickered. "How's not-so-tiny Tim doin', by the way? Does he miss me?"

Seto took a moment to correctly decipher the first part of this statement as, 'I went out with Yami and Ishizu for drinks', and resolved to puzzle out the rest after he'd said his peace. "What's the point of me buying you the latest model cell phone if you're never going to take it out of the house with you?"

"Not the boss of me," Joey giggled. "But when you get back, you can drag out the toy box and we'll play 'master and servant' all you want..." He tried to rein in his errant mouth, but somehow, this conversation wasn't going quite as he'd originally intended.

"You're drunk."

"And horny."

Seto sighed, a smile evident in his voice. "You always get horny when you drink."

Joey rolled over on his back and smiled goofily up at the ceiling. "Is that why you make sure to keep the liquor cabinet well stocked?"

"Joey, before this conversation degenerates any further, I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. I completely overreacted this morning, and you had every right to read me the riot act. I'm trying, I truly am, but you know what a possessive son of a bitch I am at heart. I'm afraid that even an over achiever like me can't change overnight. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Possessive? That's puttin' it kinda mild, dontcha think? Obsessive maybe, but I thought you only got that way over your cards and gadgets. Don't lump me in with the rest of your 'stuff' next time, alright?" He chewed on his bottom lip for a moment before adding, "And I'm sorry too. I lost my temper big time, and said a lot of stupid shit. I'll forgive you if you do the same for me."

"It's a done deal. I just wish I could say the same for things here. I didn't think it was humanly possible, but Sung is being even more of a bastard than before, and coming home is still a no go."

"Don't wanna talk about that," Joey whined petulantly. "Let's talk about more nasty stuff."

"Such as...?"

"How about what you're gonna do to me when you get home? Be creative now..."

"You do realize that Santa Claus is probably listening in, don't you?" Seto teased.

"Then that just means you'll need to work even harder to get on his naughty list."

"Perhaps we could just invite him to join us?" Seto purred, his voice dropping lower. "Picture it, Joey. We're both naked, waiting for him when he slides down the chimney with his giant sack. I'd make you suck him off while I fucked your lights out from behind. Do you think he'd like that?"

"Holy fuck, you are _so_ depraved," Joey said breathlessly. "Even _I'm _impressed. That's totally hot, but I think something like that'll probably land you on Santa's 'nice' list instead. Hell, that oughta shoot you straight to the top of it."

"I aim to please. Unfortunately, now I have a raging hard on, and I'm supposed to be trying to get in a quick nap before the next pointless meeting starts."

Proudly, Joey announced, "Well, I plan on takin' a nice, long shower and gettin' reacquainted with my right hand. Maybe you should do the same. Either that, or you could turn on a little gay-per-view action and make like you're in your own private porno."

"Joey, have you ever _seen_ Chinese pornography?"

"That bad?"

"Worse."

"Sorry, man. I feel for ya, I really do. 'Course, I'd rather be feelin' _of_ ya..."

Seto groaned. "Stop...please."

"OK, OK. I can take a hint. Guess we need us a subject change, huh?" Joey laughed, and then grinned mischievously to himself. If he played his cards just right, maybe he could get Seto to go along with a little bit of fun. He slid one hand up under the hem of his t-shirt and idly began stroking at the sensitive skin of his abdomen. "So... what are you wearin'?"

"Mutt!"

"What? This'll be fun for both of us! Just go with the flow, Seto."

"The last time anyone said that to me, I ended up losing my virginity."

"What a coincidence. I always say that the best lines are worth repeatin'..."

Seto laughed again, and Joey found himself suddenly heartsick. Seto only ever laughed like that just for _him_, and hearing it so tinny and distant sounding over the phone line made him miss his lover's presence all the more. The Kaiba mansion was huge, and had a tendency to swallow up even the loudest of noises in its massive depths. Joey often likened himself to a trespasser in some forbidding, ancient temple, where boisterous behaviour was the strictest taboo, and even the most joyous of exclamations were frowned upon. Seto's laughter always seemed to echo in the cavernous emptiness and banish the lurking shadows, bringing irrefutable truth to the old adage that love could 'turn a house into a home'. Without Seto's light to warm the cold halls, Joey rattled around aimlessly, quiet as a mouse, and generally fearful of disturbing the peace. He'd once asked Mokuba if he, too, felt the haunting presence of the place, but had received only a bewildered look in response. For Mokuba, this was the only real home he'd ever known, and Seto's presence there only reconfirmed that fact for him. And, even though it was taking longer than he had expected to grow accustomed to the place, Joey was optimistic that one day he and Seto would be able to turn the foreboding mansion into a true home of their own, free of any hurtful memories or lingering ghosts.

These thoughts flashed through his mind in the space of a heartbeat, but hot tears seemed imminent nonetheless. He'd believed he was over this lingering disappointment by now, but all the strong emotions he was presently feeling, along with the roller coaster ride of ups and downs he'd experienced over the past twenty-four hours, had apparently decided to crash down upon him all at once.

Seto immediately noticed the change in Joey's demeanour, even though the blond hadn't spoken another word. He desperately wished that he could be there to soothe away the hurt he was certain that he had somehow caused, and for the first time in recent memory, he found himself at a loss for something to say. Deflecting the painful silence was the only option left to him, and he awkwardly changed the subject. "You know Joey, I've been calling the house all night long trying to get in touch with you. Now, I'm assuming the phone in my den got ripped out of the wall and stomped on, but why didn't Mokuba pick up?"

Joey shrugged and toyed with the retractable antenna on the handset. "I threw it into the fireplace, actually. As for Mokie, I have no freakin' idea where he's at right now. He's got my car, so he's probably still out and about with friends or somethin'." He was careful not to make mention of the elusive boyfriend, since Mokuba probably wanted to have that particular conversation in person. Then again, the kid knew his older brother's temper better than anyone else, so perhaps long, _long _distance was be exactly how Mokuba was planning on handling _that_ particular conversation. And speaking of Seto's infamous temper...

"What! He's supposed to be grounded from driving! Wait, don't tell me -- he went right for the 'Seto didn't say I couldn't drive _your_ car' loophole, didn't he? That little brat is going to be in for it when I get home..."

"Little? He's bigger than you are now, so you'd better try steppin' lightly from here on out. Plus, he's _eighteen,_ Seto. You can't go on treating him like a child forever. School's all wrapped up for the holidays, and I happen to think that he deserves to go out and have some fun every once and awhile."

Seto shook his head, exasperated with his lover for being so damned naive. "He's taking advantage of you because I'm not there to crack down on him, and while I'm not completely against him cutting loose and having a good time, it's already past midnight, and Mokuba knows _nothing_ about living life in moderation. Honestly Joey, are you going to be this much of a pushover when we have kids of our own?"

"Oh, like _you're_ one to talk about moderation! You get off on puttin' your initials on _everything_ in sight, and don't think that I haven't seen the way your eyes light up whenever we pass a tattoo parlour! I'll tell you here and now, you can just put _that _thought out of your mind right this very inst -- wait a minute. Did you just say... kids? As in, like, small people from our loins and in quantities of greater than one?" Joey sat up on the bed, abruptly more sober than he'd ever been in his entire life. "Hold your horses, Tex! We haven't discussed any of --"

"Shit. I'm already late for my meeting, Babe." Seto realized that he'd let a bit too much about his plans for the future slip out, and now he needed to extricate himself from the conversation before any more damage was done. Calling Joey by an affectionate nickname was a tried and true method of distracting the blond from whatever bone he was currently gnawing on. "Can we talk about this later?"

"Um, yeah... sure. But don't think this subject is closed, mister! I see right through your little 'Babe' trick, you sneaky bastard."

"And that's why I love you so much. Good night, Joey; I miss you."

"G'night, Seto. Love you, miss you, come home soon."

Replacing the phone in its cradle, Joey rolled back over and clutched a pillow to his chest giddily. Kids? With Seto? The prospect both frightened and exhilarated him beyond the capacity for rational thought. Having clear evidence that Seto was making long term plans for their future together helped ease some of the pain of his constant loneliness, but that didn't make him any less apprehensive about the potential hazards of raising the next generation of Kaibas or Wheelers. Unbidden, miniature versions of himself and Seto came to mind, all of them one, big, happy family sitting clustered around a Christmas tree and opening presents. He yawned widely, fixing the pleasant scene in his head as he drifted off to sleep. Just as he crossed over into the realm of peaceful slumber, he found the idyllic vision abruptly replaced with images of holiday visits to the state penitentiary where Joey Jr. was doing twenty-five to life.

On second thought, kids could wait.

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tbc

Author's note:

Items used in this chapter:

none

Word Count:

10353 this chapter / 27354 total thus far


	7. Chapter 6

Title: Wish (6/9)

Author: WhosJeebus

Rating: M

Pairing(s): Joey/Seto, scads of others, & even a few surprises

Beta: Jennie B.

Spoilers: Some mentions of Battle City, vague references to general events

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, but if someone wants to give it to me as a Christmas gift, I certainly won't argue about it...

Summary: Seto won't be home for the holidays, but can Joey's friends and family manage to show him a holly jolly time, anyway? Sometimes, Christmas miracles happen in the most unexpected of ways...

Rant: I know I'm behind... I'm currently being eaten alive by a round robin chapter for 'A Dragon's Lair' and with AFF down for maintenance as well, I've let things pile up on me a bit. I promise to catch up on my overdue review responses and get Chapter 7 up on Monday, March 6th. Thanks for your patience, everyone! (02/27/06)

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Chapter 6:

(3 days 'til Christmas)

Joey awoke the next morning to the sound of scratching just outside his bedroom window. Correction; something was scratching _on _his bedroom window. Blearily, he yanked the covers off and staggered over to the curtains. Pushing aside the heavy, dark drapes, he stared blankly at the sight before him. Marik Ishtar, wearing nothing more than his usual sleeveless pink hoodie and khaki cargo pants, was hanging from a branch of the huge oak tree just outside, with what appeared to be the handle of a cellophane wrapped basket clutched between his teeth. A mix of frost and debris covered his platinum blond hair, and he looked half frozen and thoroughly pathetic.

Joey took a moment to just enjoy the sight, stretching one arm above his head and using the other hand to scratch lazily at the waistband of his boxers. He smiled sleepily at his uninvited guest, reveling in the look of pure frustration that he received in return. Huffing impatiently, Marik rolled his eyes and was nearly unseated from his tenuous perch as some snow from the higher branches landed on his upturned face. He shivered and shook his head like a dog, succeeding only in sending more of the white stuff cascading down on him. Desperate now, he shifted to grasp the top of the window frame with both hands and head butted the glass, finally spurring Joey to action. It would be next to impossible to get a glazier to replace it this close to Christmas, and he'd never be able to adequately explain this bizarre situation to Seto.

He hefted the window open just far enough to admit the frozen Egyptian into the bedroom in a tumble of arms and legs, stepping aside as a blast of cold air hit him full force. Nonplussed, Marik rolled over and sprang gracefully to his feet, smirking as he stared at Joey's bare chest. "Nice headlights. I don't know if you realized this, but it's a bit nipply...err, _nippy_outside."

Joey crossed his arms and glared stonily at the hapless intruder. "Thanks for the tip. Now what the hell do you want?"

Marik sat his basket down and dusted the snow from his hair and clothing. "Hey, merry Christmas to you, too. Here I am, dropping by to do a good deed, and at Seto's behest no less, and all you can say is -- whoops! I wasn't supposed to let you know that."

"I figured out what he was up to days ago, so no worries on that score. That still doesn't explain why you felt it necessary to trespass on private property and try to break into my house. Which reminds me, did you permanently damage any of the security guards on your way in?"

"You knew? Wow, that's a relief. I guess you're really not as dumb as Bakura always says you -- damn. I wasn't supposed to say that, either." Sheepishly, he looked down at his feet and spied the basket that he'd gone to so much trouble to haul up the tree. Proudly, he lifted it up to eye level for Joey's inspection. "It's like, noon, and I've been ringing the fucking door bell for half an hour or more. I couldn't leave your present outside in the cold, so I was just going to see if you were actually here before I left. Plus, I was freezing my balls off out there, and I didn't think you'd mind me coming in to warm myself up before I had to ride my motorcycle all the way home." He smiled brightly as he added, "No security guards were harmed, or otherwise exploited, during the execution of my daredevil antics."

Joey eyes were riveted to the covered basket, and he missed the other's crestfallen expression as his 'daredevil antics' passed without soliciting further comment. "Jesus, Marik. That's not a puppy in there, is it? 'Cause you know they can't breathe through cellophane, right?" Joey snatched the basket and began pulling unceremoniously at the wrapping.

"What? No, it's not a puppy! It's a fruit basket. Ishizu dragged me to a farmer's market the other day, and I've never seen so many different kinds of fruit before in my whole life!" Marik uttered excitedly, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

Joey peered into the depths of the large basket, spotting something round and pink and bringing it out into the light. "This is a radish. It's not a fruit."

Marik fluttered his hand loftily and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Radish, rutabaga, kumquat, whatever. Show a little appreciation, will you? I soaked and froze myself getting it here to you; the least you can do is say thanks."

Joey felt slightly ashamed of himself. Seto's bidding or not, it was still a nice holiday gesture, especially for the reclusive Egyptian. "Seriously, thanks Marik. This will make a great centerpiece for the table at my Christmas dinner. It was, uh, thoughtful of you and... stuff." Joey gaped open-mouthed at his erstwhile houseguest, who had begun to methodically undress, baring an uncomfortable amount of smooth, bronzed skin in the process. "Um...Marik, why the hell are you takin' your clothes off?"

"I'm soaked through, and I'm cold, dammit! I figured that would be obvious. Don't worry; I'm not going to molest you or anything." He slipped under the sheets of the king sized bed and wriggled around, tossing out a skimpy pair of bikini underpants moments later. He raised his eyebrows at Joey's affronted expression and offered, "No offense, but you're just not my type. You're all skin and bones, and that doesn't really frost my cookies."

"What the hell were you doin' out in this weather half dressed anyway?" Joey asked as he puttered about the bedroom, picking up Marik's discarded garments and searching for some clean ones of his own.

Marik yawned and burrowed further down into the blankets. "I didn't know there was still snow on the ground."

Joey paused, bent over in the act of pulling on a pair of jeans, and turned his head slowly toward the boy on the bed. "There's been snow on the ground every day for the past _month_, you freak. Don't you ever go out?"

Shrugging, Marik replied, "Not really. There was the trip to the market a few days ago, but before that, the last time I willingly left the house on my own was when I picked up my reserved copy of Socom 3."

"That was back in October!"

"Yeah, well, Ishizu still drags me out every now and then, too," he said defensively.

"Why don't you ever want to go anywhere? If you're climbin' trees and breakin' into houses, then I don't think that qualifies you as agoraphobic."

"This time was a special request, and besides, num farr vaht hnng ush pif mee," Marik trailed off, mumbling unintelligibly.

Joey cupped a hand behind his ear. "What was that again?"

"I said, no one wants to hang out with me!"

Forgetting who he was dealing with for the moment, Joey responded automatically. "Don't be silly. That's just not true."

Marik laughed bitterly. "Right. You're friendlier to me than anyone else in the gang, and that's even after I... well, you know."

"Brainwashed me and tried to make me off my best friend? Nearly killing me _and_ my little sister while you were at it? Or are you talking about the time you used Mokuba as a hostage? Or maybe, you're referrin' to when you --"

"Alright, alright, I get the point. In all fairness, that wasn't _entirely _me, you know." He sat up and idly picked at the soft, down comforter with his fingers. "I know I've got plenty of amends to make with you guys, but I have no idea where to even start. If you can tell me how one might properly apologize for going nutso with power and trying to take over the world, then I'm all ears."

Joey tugged a grey t-shirt down over his head and strolled over to sit down next to Marik. "That's just it. You should let it come naturally, and not try to force it. Come out more, hang out with me and Seto, visit Yugi and Yami over at the game shop, go clubbin' with Mokuba one weekend -- stuff like that. This bunch has seen more weird shit than you can shake a stick at -- nutjobs tryin' to resurrect their dead honeys, virtual kidnappings, digitized relatives, _real_freakin' dragons, guys with outrageous ponytails and soul-suckin' fetishes -- and that's not even scratchin' the surface of all the fucked up shenanigans in Egypt that one time. You'll blend in just fine, and the gang will warm up to you in no time."

Marik looked hopeful, and just the slightest bit shy. "You really think so?"

"I know so. But first, you need to learn how to have fun some way other than sittin' front of a computer or a video game." Joey patted Marik on the knee and hopped up off the bed to begin rifling through Seto's walk-in closet. "You're just a little shorter than Seto, so these should fit you just fine."

Marik watched, fascinated, as Joey kept throwing more and more clothes onto the bed in front of him, including a heavy winter coat and gloves. He eyed the outdoor garments distrustfully. "What did you have in mind, exactly?"

"Nothin' fancy, so wipe that look off your face. We're gonna go out and play in the snow like a couple of idiots without a care in the world. It once did Seto a world of good, and I suspect that it'll do the same for you," he said smugly.

"Ugh. I hate snow. It's cold and wet." Marik looked at Joey expectantly, but the other blond didn't retract his suggestion. "Did I mention that it never snows in Egypt?"

"Quit whining. You've obviously nevah frolicked in the propah attire, Master Ishtar, " Joey mimicked in his best 'Jeeves the butler' voice, holding out a pair of sturdy snow boots for Marik's approval. "Once we're frozen to the bone, we'll come back inside and thaw, and then you can sample some of my fine cuisine. Now does that sound like fun, or what?"

Marik screwed his face up in the parody of a smile and swallowed nervously. "Sure... I guess."

Joey clapped him on the back hard enough to elicit a small cough. "That's the spirit! What time did you say it was again?"

"Um... a little after noon, I think?"

"Fuckin' A! I love it when I sleep right through the hangover!"

Both boys were suited up within minutes, and Joey led the recalcitrant newcomer out onto the massive expanse of the Kaiba estate's back lawn. With Marik lagging behind, Joey grinned broadly as he surveyed the acres upon acres of snow that awaited their pleasure. He started Marik off slowly, showing him how to roll the giant snowballs that formed the basic design of every snowman, and then turned his own attention to constructing a fort. The other boy took over the snowman project with enthusiasm, even going so far as to place a firmly packed snowball on top of a stick, proudly proclaiming that his snowman was the bearer of the Millennium Rod.

When Marik wandered over to inquire about the fort, Joey reached into his hidden stockpile of snowballs and launched a sweet shot right into the Egyptian's startled face. It was the first, and last, cheap blow he got away with however, as Marik soon proved that he was above and beyond even Joey's experienced skills when it came to a down and dirty snowball fight. He flipped, dove and dodged every missile that Joey winged his way, laughing and taunting his new friend as he whittled away at the hastily constructed fort with unerring accuracy.

Before long, Joey was thoroughly soaked, with snow melting in his hair and running down the inside of his clothes, causing his teeth to chatter uncontrollably. Marik pranced around the back yard, crowing his victory to the heavens even as Joey dragged him back inside the house by the collar.

Once they were dried off, Joey fixed them both some mulled apple cider, carefully placing cinnamon sticks in each cup before setting them down on the dining room table. Marik sniffed at his, and a serene smile drifted over his face, his cheeks still pink from the cold. "I love the smell of cinnamon. It reminds me of Egypt."

Joey sipped at his own cider and looked over at Marik curiously. "Do you ever get homesick?"

"Not really. I miss Odion, and a few little things -- like the smell of some spices, and the feel of sand under my feet. What else is there to miss, really? Home was a tomb, and I got the hell out of the whole damn country as fast as I could. Nothing but bad memories, honestly."

Nodding his head in feigned understanding, Joey realized that he might be out of his depth here. As tragic as his own and even Seto's childhoods were, realistically, they had nothing to compare with some of the horrors that Marik had endured in his short lifetime. When you stopped to think about it, it truly was rather remarkable that he and Ishizu were even slightly well adjusted.

Marik picked up on the somber direction that Joey's thoughts were taking, and hurried to add, "Now, don't get me wrong. It wasn't all for shit, and I'm mostly happy here in Domino City after all." He nudged Joey with an elbow and waggled his eyebrows. Especially since Ishizu got me an X-Box 360 for an early birthday present."

"Hey! How did you find out about that? Yami's been hidin' that at the game shop for weeks!"

"Bakura caught them sneaking around with it, and ratted them out to me. My birthday's in two more days, you know. Maybe you can get me an advance copy of that new racing game that Kaiba Corp is putting out in February?" Marik prompted.

Joey just shook his head, exasperated. "Sounds like you're all set for the new year. None of us will probably see you for another six months, so it was nice knowin' ya."

Marik stared into his drink pensively, but didn't reply to the gentle jibe. Wondering if he'd somehow offended the other boy, Joey awkwardly attempted to apologize. "I'm sorry Marik. I know this is hard for you, and if I'm puttin' too much on you all at once, then feel free to tell me to fuck off, OK?"

"It not that. It's just... well, I had a really good time today, and you're absolutely right, I _do_ need to get out more, and be more social with you guys. It just sort of made me realize something that I've been avoiding lately, I guess."

Joey waited patiently for further information, but Marik seemed to have clammed up after his hesitant admission. Joey Wheeler, A.K.A. 'Dr. Love' had a pretty good idea what the problem might be, but this particular situation was delicate at best. He decided to probe cautiously, and approach the issue in a roundabout manner. "I'm sure that Ishizu will be happy to hear that you're wantin' to get out of the house more often. I bet she's not around all that much anymore, what with the big job promotion, and then her spendin' all her spare time with Yami..."

When Marik heaved a mournful sigh and said wistfully, "Yeah..." Joey knew that he'd hit upon the source.

"Marik, are you lonely?"

The Egyptian smiled to himself. "Are you hitting on me, Joey? I thought I already told you that you weren't my type. Please don't throw yourself at me like this, it's kind of embarrassing. For you, I mean."

Joey sputtered and fumed as his face turned several different shades of red over the course of the next few seconds. In the end, he burst out laughing at his own expense. It seemed that he'd gotten rather full of himself and his 'mad skillz' as a relationship counsellor these past few days. He'd been in need of a good, swift kick to the ass to bring his swollen ego back down to earth. He punched Marik lightly in the shoulder and said jokingly, "Sorry, big guy, but I'm one hot commodity that's totally off the market. Besides, I know for a fact that you can do better."

Marik looked up, grinning smugly and obviously curious. "Oh really? _Do_ pray tell whose beauty doth outshine even your own, dearest Joseph?"

"That was pretty damn good. You should come and try out down at the theatre some time, you know." Joey took a deep breath before continuing. Technically, he knew it might be considered a breach of trust, but if it turned out that Marik was actually interested, then he might just be doing them _all _a big favour. "Remember at Seto's birthday party, when Tea got really loaded and kept cornerin' you and invitin' you to come see one of her dance recitals?"

Marik furrowed his brow. "Yeah, I remember. She was really persistent about it, but I figured she was just drunk and didn't realize who she was asking."

"No, you idiot! She was totally hittin' on you all night long! The next day, she asked me if I knew whether or not you were gay." He wrapped one arm around Marik's shoulder and gave him a friendly squeeze. "You're in luck, because she told me over lunch the other day that she's still carryin' that particular torch around. But, if you clue her in that I'm the one who spilled the beans, I'll deny everything and make sure that you never see that Kaiba Corp game you've been droolin' over."

Shoving his drink away and leaning heavily against Joey, Marik whispered, "If I asked her out, you think she'd say yes?"

"Hell, yes! Girls dig sexually ambiguous bad boys with tragic pasts, didn't you know that? And Tea, well, she's _all _girl."

Marik leapt up from his seat and began re-wrapping Seto's borrowed scarf around his neck. He balanced precariously, attempting to fasten the huge coat around himself while simultaneously hopping in place with one snow boot on. "You think Seto will mind if I get these clothes back to him later?"

"Err, sure, whatever. He probably won't even miss 'em."

"Great. I'm going to head right on over to Tea's house, so can I take a rain check on the taste testing?"

Joey chuckled to himself and waved Marik off. "Go young knight; sweepeth yon maiden off of her dainty, little feet."

Marik gave him a thumbs up and took off at a run, his hasty departure soon followed by the sound of the front door slamming shut behind him. Joey raised his mug of cider in a sardonic toast, murmuring quietly to himself, "Good luck, and God bless."

Finishing off his drink, Joey padded into the kitchen and dragged out his stack of cookbooks once more, readying himself for another intensive session of Seasonal Cuisine 101. His mood had turned slightly gloomy, and somehow, he just didn't feel like cooking today. He spotted a previously overlooked note from Mokuba on the refrigerator, the teen apparently having snuck out of the house while Joey had been frolicking in the snow with Marik. Left in the lurch once again, Joey opened a drawer and pulled out the cell phone that Seto had foisted upon him months ago. His fingers rapidly pressed the keys, dialling a familiar number. Joey wandered upstairs and into the bedroom, listening intently as the other end of the line was picked up after barely two rings.

"Joey? Is that you?"

"I had Marik naked in my bed earlier today. Thought you might like to know."

There was a pregnant pause, and Joey tapped his foot impatiently, awaiting the outburst.

Seto cleared his throat and choked out, "Well, I'm sure there was a perfectly legitimate and innocent reason for him being there. After all, I trust you implicitly."

"Damn. You're _good. _Are you busy right now?"

"Not really. I'm in a limo at the moment, headed back to the hotel after yet another pointless day," Seto griped irritably.

"Perfect. Let's pick up where we left off last night, shall we?" Joey reclined on the bed and unfastened his jeans with his free hand. He slid his fingertips just under the waistband of his boxers and arched his back at the pleasant sensations, coupled with his vivid imagination. "So... what are you wearin'?'

After another extended silence, Seto's welcoming laughter reached his ears across the distance, and Joey smiled to himself. His lover then proceeded to tantalizingly describe _exactly _what he was wearing at the moment, as well as provide a meticulously detailed play by play as he took everything off, excruciatingly slowly.

Joey let his hand drift lower, groaning aloud as Seto's sensuous words went straight to his groin. Yeah, this definitely beat cooking _any _day...

For the next little while, no truly coherent thought wormed its way into either Joey or Seto's preoccupied brains, and the loss went thoroughly unlamented by both parties.

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tbc

Author's note:

Happy Birthday, Marik! (December 23rd)

licks

Items used in this chapter:

(12) A snowball fight.

Word Count:

3551 this chapter / 30905 total thus far


	8. Chapter 7

Title: Wish (7/9)

Author: WhosJeebus

Rating: T

Pairing(s): Joey/Seto, scads of others, & even a few surprises

Beta: Jennie B.

Spoilers: None

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, but if someone wants to give it to  
me as a Christmas gift, I certainly won't argue about it...

Summary: Seto won't be home for the holidays, but can Joey's friends  
and family manage to show him a holly jolly time, anyway? Sometimes,  
Christmas miracleshappen in the most unexpected of ways...

Rant: Wow. I bet no one's in the mood for Christmas stuffs anymore, are they? Deepest apologies for being such a slacker, but I WILL be going back to address my individual reviews some timein the near future. R/L keeps offering me a myriad of distractions, and I am hard pressed to ignore them. Yeah, it's the same old schpiel. I know. Enjoy chapter 7, and expect to see the remaining 2 installments and epilogue over the course of the next week. It's the least I can do to make up for being such a lazy tool. (hugs and glompage galore!)

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Chapter 7:  
(2 days 'til Christmas)

Feeling re-energized after the previous night's exploits, Joey eagerly vaulted out of bed the next morning. He made short work of his shower as he washed and dried himself at full speed, happily humming Christmas carols all the while. Once dressed, he bounded down the stairs and into the main kitchen to put on a giant pot of coffee. The aroma would surely lure Mokuba out of his cave, provided that the teen had actually managed to come home from wherever he'd been sneaking off to lately. Keeping one eye out for the younger Kaiba's emergence, he gave the chef and her entire kitchen staff the rest of the week off, turned out the overhead light, and perched himself on a barstool to wait. Soon enough, a tousled, black head appeared around the corner, sniffing the air cautiously. The rest of Mokuba soon followed, as he quietly crept toward the coffee pot, tiptoeing across the linoleum. Wishing he had a safari hat and a net for effect, Joey flipped on the light switch and pounced. Temporarily blinded, his prey blinked rapidly with mounting panic and took a few skittish steps backwards, right into the waiting trap. Joey leapt forward and goosed the topless Mokuba in the ribs, exclaiming triumphantly, "Gotcha!"

"Ahhh! Fuck!" Mokuba whirled around and bumped his hip on the edge of the countertop, bouncing off like a pinball and flailing his arms wildly at his attacker. "Jesus, Mary and... Joey? That had better be you, you asshole!"

"Temper temper! If you keep scowlin' like that, you're gonna get wrinkles..."

"Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" Mokuba placed one hand in the center of his chest and leaned against the sink, breathing heavily.

Joey poured him a cup of coffee to make amends, and gestured for the other boy to have a seat. "I need your help today."

"Sure, I'm game. What's up?"

"Tomorrow's Christmas Eve, and I have to work until six o' clock, so this is my last official day of cooking practice. I need an assistant slash taste tester to help me get ready."

Mokuba turned pale. "Anything but that."

Joey stuck out his tongue. "Don't be a bitch. My culinary skills have greatly improved, and besides, it's lookin' like you, me and your guest of honour are gonna be the only ones in attendance. I'd like to try and make it special anyway, and for that I need you, OK?"

"Alright, fine. Count me in."

Smiling gratefully, Joey asked, "You did straighten things out with your fella, right?"

"Damn, Joey; you sound like you're about eighty years old, " Mokuba snickered. "Heh. 'My fella'. He's so going to crack up about that."

"Just answer the question, smartass."

Mokuba grinned goofily, and from the stars evident in his dark grey eyes, Joey had all the answer he needed. "Yeah, I guess you could say we kissed and made up. And then we groped and made up. And after that we --"

Joey covered his ears with both hands and shook his head furiously. "Not another word! If I don't know any details, then Seto can't torture the information outta me later!"

Blowing Joey a kiss, Mokuba joked, "Oh please. You love it, you big dungeon queen."

"Hey! You're not s'posed to know about all that... stuff." He pondered for a moment. "I could have sworn we were bein' quiet..."

Mokuba slapped his knee and threw his head back, cackling loudly. "I didn't know; I was just guessing! Now I have actual evidence of how pervy you two really are!" Wiping tears from his eyes, he suddenly turned thoughtful. "I have got to rig up a hidden camera or something..."

Blushing furiously, Joey turned his attention to his work, steadily offering up a large variety of appetizers, entrees and desserts for Mokuba's dining pleasure. While not a picky eater himself, the teen had learned plenty about refined taste under the tutelage of his older brother, and most of what Joey presented to him received an enthusiastic green light. They broke for a midday nap, and slept off the huge amount of food they had already consumed, only to gravitate back into the kitchen just a few hours later to begin all over again. By the time the sun had finally set, Joey was sweaty and exhausted, and Mokuba was clutching at his distended belly, moaning piteously. "I'm sooo bloated!"

Beaming with pride, Joey clapped the other boy firmly on the back. "Couldn't have done it without you, Kid. Can I bring you a bucket? Wafer-thin mint?"

Mokuba groaned and covered his mouth with his hand, letting loose with an impressive belch. "You think you're funny, but you're just not." He rested his forehead on the cool surface of the kitchen table, grunting loudly from the effort of bending over that far. "Tell you what; first off, you can fetch me about five pints of Alka-Seltzer, and after that maybe you could roll me into a wheelbarrow and take me up to my room. Then I can die in peace."

Joey rifled through a kitchen drawer and handed over a large container of antacid to the distraught teenager. "You were a big help today, Mokie. I owe you one."

"If you've made me fat, I'll never forgive you," Mokuba called over his shoulder as he slowly padded up the stairs.

Thinking that he might just pull this thing off after all, Joey set about cleaning up the massive amount of dishes he had dirtied, his mind preoccupied with finalizing Sunday's menu. Up to his elbows in soap suds, he was startled out of his reverie when the phone on the wall next to him gave a shrill ring. He quickly dried his hands off and reached to answer it.

"Wheeler's Mortuary, Joey speakin'. You stab 'em, we slab 'em."

Yugi Moto, by now accustomed to his best friend's various idiosyncrasies, excitedly replied on the other end of the line, "Grab your coat and shoes, and get your butt out front, Wheeler. I'm not taking no for an answer. Oh, and be sure to wear warm socks."

Shrugging, Joey shouldered the phone and went in search of his favourite pair of sneakers. "I'm not sayin' no, but do you mind if I ask why? Are we goin' down to the butcher shop to buy the Christmas goose in the window? The one as big as me?"

"Are you drunk? Never mind; it doesn't matter. No questions, just haul ass." Yugi hung up abruptly, leaving Joey confused, but no less cheerful because of it. He ran outside to find Yugi's car parked in the driveway, his diminutive friend's spiky hair barely visible above the steering wheel. He opened the passenger door and hopped in, fastening his seatbelt and ordering, "Punch it, Chewie."

Yugi, and his notorious lead foot, enthusiastically complied, and as they drove through the countryside in relative silence, Joey's curiosity grew by leaps and bounds.

"So... west, is it?"

"I said no questions."

"Just makin' conversation."

"Then make some other kind."

Joey blew out a pent-up breath of air and idly drummed his fingertips on the armrest. They had been on the road for almost an hour, leaving Domino City far behind as they headed up into the surrounding mountains. "You're not draggin' me all the way out here to murder me and dump my corpse in the woods, are you?"

"Maybe."

"Look, if you're still mad about me pantsing you in the mall the other day, I've already apologized about a hundred times. I swear I didn't know that you weren't wearin' a belt, and I promise that I'll never, ever --"

"Seto would chop me into mincemeat and bake me in a pie if I let anything happen to you, so try to relax a little."

Joey slouched down in his seat and muttered, "If you tell me to just go with the flow, then I'm really gonna get nervous..."

Yugi looked over at him inquisitively. "You know, the last time anyone said that to me, I ended up losing my virginity."

"Yeah, that line gets around."

Yugi turned off the main highway and onto a side road, which quickly narrowed into something slightly larger than a two lane dirt track, but not my much. Joey soon began to see wooden fences to either side, as well as various silos and storage buildings along the way, leading him to believe that they were entering the outskirts of a large farm or orchard. As they pulled around a steep bend in the road, their heavily forested surroundings opened up into a clearing, and Joey's eyes beheld a glorious sight. As far as he could see, brightly lit Christmas trees stretched out before him, each one covered in twinkling, colourful lights, and meticulously decorated with hundreds of glittering ornaments. In the distance, tiny figures ice skated on a picture perfect frozen pond, while the moon hung full and bright in the background, illuminating the quaint holiday scene with an unearthly glow. A large, immaculate farmhouse towered above it all on a hill, with a sign out front welcoming visitors to Tanglewood Farm's annual holiday celebration. Joey's mouth hung open in awed surprise, and as soon as Yugi had pulled the car over and parked, the blond leapt out the passenger side door and ran over to drag his friend bodily from the vehicle. He crushed the smaller boy to him in a fierce bear hug, while Yugi flapped his arms and futilely gasped for air.

Unrelenting, Joey whirled Yugi around in a wide arc before depositing him unceremoniously in the nearest snow bank. He stood on tiptoes and made a quick survey of the festive environs, bouncing and pointing like an excited child of half his age. "Damn, Yug'! This place is great! I haven't been ice skatin' since I was a kid! Holy shit! Look over there! They're sellin' popcorn and hot cocoa! Wow! A huge fuckin' bonfire! They're actually roastin' hot dogs and marshmallows! They even have a storyteller! This is so awesome!"

"I read about this place in a magazine last year, and when Seto called and asked me to help cheer you up, this was the first thing that came to mind." Yugi managed to get his feet back under him and stood up, only to have Joey grab his coat sleeve and haul him off toward the skate rental booth. "Joey! I'm glad you're happy, but I need a minute to catch my breath!"

"Time for that later!" Joey called, not breaking his stride. "First, I wanna do _everything_!"

Yugi paid for two pairs of skates for the evening, kneeling down to properly lace Joey's, as well as his own, after the blond repeatedly whined that he was too impatient to do it for himself. As soon as Yugi was finished with his thankless task, Joey launched himself out onto the frozen surface, pinwheeling his arms for balance and laughing delightedly. He took several spectacular spills right off the bat, doggedly picking himself back up each time and murmuring hasty apologies to his fellow skaters. Yugi, on the other hand, stepped cautiously onto the ice, his hands held behind his back for balance as he took a number of short, mincing strides to get a better feel for the motion. Soon, he was skating literal circles around his friend, and taking no small amount of smug pleasure in doing so.

Wobbling precariously, Joey skated up behind him and grabbed onto the trailing ends of Yugi's red scarf. "Show off."

"You're just jealous." Joey's legs arbitrarily decided to head off in opposite directions, and Yugi was suddenly in danger of being yanked off his feet with him. "Hey now! Don't drag me down too, you big, clumsy jerk!"

"Brings back old times, don't it?"

Yugi made a face. "Ha ha. Here. Come up beside me and take my hand. Yeah, just like that; you've got it now. And try to slow down a little, will you?"

Snickering, Joey commented, "You sound just like Seto in bed."

Yugi blushed and reached up to give his dirty-minded friend a gentle smack in the head. Holding hands and spreading his balance more evenly between the two of them, Joey managed to skate along at a much smoother pace, only occasionally falling prey to the urge to do the splits. "See Joey? You're a fast learner, just like Grandpa always says."

Nodding proudly in agreement, Joey glanced over to find that a bit of the happy light had left his friend's wide, violet eyes. Uh-oh; something was definitely up. "Hey, Yug', is everything OK? Gramps isn't sick or somethin', is he?"

"Oh! No, no... he's as healthy and fit ever! In fact, he's even flying out to Montana with me on Sunday to visit Rebecca and her grandfather. We're going to spend Christmas and New Year's on their horse ranch, and have ourselves a little vacation of sorts."

"That sounds like a blast, and you could both use the downtime. Y'know, it's been awhile since I last saw Rebecca; how's she doin'?"

Yugi arched his eyebrows, giving Joey a penetrating look."I've already talked with Yami and the rest of the gang, so don't think that I don't know what you're up to. I'm not soliciting any advice for the lovelorn, and there's nothing wrong with my relationship that needs fixing, OK?"

Joey held his hands up in feigned indignation, and nearly careened off the edge of the ice before Yugi could grab onto his wrist again. "Thanks, man. I hear where you're comin' from, but 'Becca's my friend too, and you know that I'm shit for keepin' in touch. I'm just curious to find out what she's been up lately. Isn't she about to graduate college this spring?"

Yugi nodded, looking both pleased and apprehensive at the same time. "She's getting her degree in aeronautics, and then she's going into the Air Force this fall."

"No kiddin'?"

Yugi stared down at his skates. "Yeah. They've pretty much guaranteed her any posting she asks for, because they want her as a flight instructor. She's determined to work her way up to test pilot, and from there, I wouldn't be surprised if she wants to become an astronaut. She's talked about it before."

"Dang! How cool is that?"

"I guess..."

Despite all his claims to the contrary, Joey could tell that there was indeed something bothering Yugi, and it appeared that it was somehow linked to his friend's love life, even if he didn't see it that way. "If the whole long distance thing has got you down, then maybe this could be a good thing? She could probably get assigned somewhere closer to Domino, right?"

"That's not really the issue, Joey. I mean, closer would be nice, but we've been doing the long distance relationship dance forever now, and it's worked out just fine. Besides, Rebecca wants to be near her grandfather to help take care of him, so she'll probably wind up staying in Montana -- for a while, anyway. The problem is, I don't want to stay in Domino anymore, but I don't really have a choice in the matter."

Joey frowned. "No choice? That doesn't sound like the Yug' I know."

"Grandpa told me he's planning on retiring for good this summer, and he wants to turn the game shop over to me." He looked up at his friend, tears welling just beneath his long lashes. "As much as I love games and want to make my grandfather happy, it's just not that I want to do with my life, Joey!"

"Oh, hey man... it's alright; don't get all worked up on me here." Joey skated over to the edge of the pond and eased them both down onto an overturned log. "We haven't talked about this for a while, so how about you give me an update to work with. What do you want to do with your life, Yugi? Remember, nothin's set in stone."

Yugi sniffed and wiped at his eyes with his coat sleeve. "Interesting choice of words. All those adventures we had in Egypt, all that fascinating stuff that Ishizu and Yami talk about constantly, even the things that Bakura mentions sometimes... it's made me decide to go back to school and become an archaeologist. At least, I'd like to. I've looked into it, and there are several colleges in Montana with world class archaeology and anthropology programs."

"An astronaut and Indiana Jones," the blond chuckled. "You two will be the very picture of the modern day, jet-settin' couple."

"Don't tease, Joey. It's never going to happen."

Joey gently put his hand on Yugi's shoulder. "You've got to be shittin' me! If anyone would understand you wantin' to become an archaeologist, it's Gramps! He did his own share of globe-trottin' and tomb excavatin' back in the day, y'know!"

"He'd probably be happy for me and give me all the support I needed, just like always, but deep down, he'd still be disappointed. How is that any way to repay him for everything's he done for me? I'm not going to allow the game shop, his life's work, be sold off to some stranger!" Yugi shoved Joey's hand away and attempted to stand, but the other boy reached up and yanked him roughly back down. "Cut it out, Joey! Just forget I even mentioned it, OK?"

Joey held tight to his squirming friend, determined to make him see reason. "No. I can't forget it, and furthermore, I won't. You're bein' stubborn and blind pal, and comin' from me, that's sayin' a lot. Gramps wants you to be happy more than he wants anything else in this world, and if takin' off to school in Montana is what you truly want, then you know he's gonna be behind you all the way -- no ifs, ands, or buts. What you're forgettin' here, is that there's someone else in the picture who's like a grandson to him, too, and if you both want to make sure the store stays in the family, then all you need to do is ask him."

Yugi blinked, perplexed. "Who? Yami? Joey, get real! You can't be suggesting that he'd want to run the game shop in my place?"

"That's exactly what I'm sayin'. He loves doin' it, and honestly, this is probably just what he's been waitin' to hear."

Laughing, Yugi nearly fell backwards off of the log. "That's a good one! The former god-king of Egypt, wearing a name tag and saying, 'thank you, come again!' to bossy customers for the rest of his life! Please. He's only doing it now to save money, and I'm sure he hates every second of it."

Joey's voice was serious, and his tone brooked no argument as he spoke. "Yugi, I don't like to say this very often, but I'm sayin' it now: You need to shut the hell up and listen to me, or I'm gonna wring your scrawny little neck. You're dead wrong, and I'm dead serious. Before gettin' stuck in the puzzle, Yami spent his entire life in ancient Egypt not bein' able to turn around twice without people bowin' and scrapin' and lining up to kiss his feet. He likes the independence of working at the store, and he wants to keep doin' it as long as possible. He's happy, and if you'd pull your head out of your ass for a minute, you'd see that too."

Thinking over Joey's words, Yugi seemed to deliberate with himself for a moment before coming to a decision. "But it just seems so... plebian, for him."

Joey shrugged. "You changed him a lot, Yug'. He's not the pharaoh anymore, and we're not the ones who get to tell him what to do with his life. I think that between the three of you, you'll manage to work something out." He wrapped an arm around Yugi's narrow shoulders and gave him a huge squeeze. "But damn, man! I sure am gonna miss you if you move so far away! I'll tell Seto to keep the Lear jet gassed up and on the runway in case I want to come take you out to a movie."

Yugi returned his friend's hug, and then reached up to give Joey's ear a good, hard twist. "Oww! What'd you do that for?"

"That's for trying to intimidate me. Honestly Joey; you always resort to violence when you don't get your way! I thought you would have grown out of that by now. Threats of bodily harm aside, I see what everyone meant when they told me you'd been playing 'Dr. Love' lately. You're pretty good at it, too." He glanced over Joey's shoulder and gave him a sharp nudge with his elbow. "Speaking of love, don't look now, but those two girls over there are totally checking you out."

"For real? Which ones?"

Yugi gestured by pointing his chin slightly off to the left. "The twins in the matching pink coats." Joey turned around quickly to meet their stares, only to send them skating away in the opposite direction, giggling madly. "I told you not to look!"

"Those two? They were probably about fourteen or so, Yug'! Gimme a break!"

"Joey, look at me. I get hit on by fourteen year-olds all the damn time, and I'm telling you, there's no way in hell those girls are fourteen. They were probably even legal, " he sighed mournfully.

Joey pulled Yugi back up onto his feet and out on the ice once more. "And Mokuba calls me pervy! At least I'm not out on the town chasin' jailbait!"

Yugi was affronted. "I don't chase jailbait; the jailbait chases me."

"Oh, right. Your own girlfriend is barely past the age of consent, you dog."

"I'm just young at heart." Joey released Yugi's hand and skated backwards past the twins, giving them a wink and driving them off into blushing laughter once more. Yugi rolled his eyes, cupping his hands around his mouth and calling, "You're one to talk, you shameless flirt!"

Joey rejoined Yugi on the outside edge, skating leisurely alongside his best friend. When he wasn't concentrating so hard on not falling, the movements seemed to come more naturally to him. "Girls are nice and all, but I like dick just as much, if not more, " Joey said matter-of-factly. "And lemme tell ya, Seto's got one hell of a --"

"Ack! You're venturing into TMI territory! Don't say anything else!"

"What? You said yourself that you've pictured Seto naked before. I figured you were still curious about the real thing."

Yugi stumbled and came perilously close to crash-landing on his head. "Are you mental? When did I ever say that?"

"Don't you remember? When we were on Duelist Kingdom, and I told you about that fucked up dream I had with him in it?" Joey prompted.

"Joey... all I said was that I wanted to know whether or not there was a tattoo of '666' and a pair of cloven hooves hidden under all those layers of clothes."

"Same difference."

They split up and skated independently for a few laps, with Yugi attempting a few graceless spins and figure eights, while Joey played a game of cat and mouse with the giggling girls. The twins packed up to leave soon afterward, but not before the braver of the pair blatantly wrote her phone number down on a slip of paper, and left it lying on one of the nearby benches. Joey skated over and picked it up, giving them a final wave and blowing a kiss over his shoulder.

"I hope Seto finds that phone number in your pocket and kicks your ass."

Joey sailed past the other boy at breakneck speed, curling his fingers into claws and making an exaggerated scratching gesture in the air. "Ooh. Mee-oww."

Yugi caught up to him again, and after a few moments of thoughtful silence, asked hesitantly, "Is it really that big?"

"What? My ass?" Joey twisted around and looked down at himself. "You think so?"

"Don't you ever get tired of driving in the slow lane? I'm talking about Seto's, uh... package."

"Oh." Joey righted himself again and gave Yugi a pointed look. "Ask him yourself sometime. He's convinced that everyone wants him anyway, so it's not like there's any danger of inflatin' his ego any more than it already is. Hell, he might even whip it out and show it to you. You should probably stand clear if he does, though; that thing's liable to put someone's eye out."

"Get serious. You're the one who brought the subject up, and now I'm dying of curiosity." Joey remained infuriatingly mum on the subject, and Yugi ground his teeth in frustration. "At least tell me if it's bigger than yours."

"Hey! When did you ever get a peek at mine, you sicko?"

"Think back for a minute, Joey. Four graduating classes of Domino High School got up close and personal with your Johnson, remember? Surely it's one of your past holiday highlights. You made the splash page in that year's annual, after all."

"Oh. That."

"Yeah, that. What on earth ever possessed you to streak that pep rally in the first place?"

Joey ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. "I was just so damn proud of winnin' that giant candy cane in the Christmas raffle, but Duke had to go and stick his nose in my business, like he always does. I swear, if he hadn't triple dog dared me, so soon after that TV fiasco, I probably could have kept my cool and ignored him."

"Still, we all managed a nice eyeful around a four foot peppermint stick, so that's surely something to be proud of."

"Yeah, I guess I never thought of it that way... I s'pose it was worth the five day suspension after all." Joey shivered and grasped Yugi's elbow to steer him back toward the exit ramp. "I'm freezin'. How about we get ourselves some hot cocoa and go check out that storyteller?"

"Sure thing. And Joey?"

"Yeah, Yug'?"

"I really like that cute little mole on your butt."

Once Yugi had been captured and sufficiently tickled into submission, the two boys turned in their skates and sat down to warm their hands on Styrofoam cups full of steaming hot cocoa. They shared a bag of popcorn as they avidly listened to several of the storytellers spin their holiday yarns, regaling the crowd with tales both heartwarming and hilarious. Afterward, they meandered through the forest of beautifully decorated Christmas trees and went on a short tour of the antique farmhouse and its tiny gift shop. Joey bought a postcard to give to Seto, wanting to return again next year and experience this magical place with his lover, and he could see the same desire reflected in Yugi's eyes as well. Maybe next Christmas, he could arrange for Yugi and Rebecca to fly in for a visit, and they could all go together. For that matter, he couldn't think of a single member of the gang that wouldn't find this place enchanting, with the possible exception of Bakura. Doubtless, the tomb robber would probably bitch and moan about being dragged along with them, while thoroughly enjoying himself the entire time.

At midnight, Yugi and Joey gathered around the bonfire with the remaining guests, and joined their voices in amongst the carolers as the festivities were closed down for the night. Joey was sorry to have to leave, but he was also dead on his feet. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve, and the morning brought with it the prospect of another glamorous day in the wide world of retail. Frantic and frustrated last minute shoppers tended to shatter the fragile illusion of holiday peace and good will toward men, but at least he had a stockpile of pleasant memories from tonight to carry with him into the trenches.

He slept through the majority of the long ride home, and the next thing he knew, Yugi was opening up his door and patting his face with one gloved hand. "Joey, wake up. You're home."

He climbed out of the car and yawned tiredly, ruffling his friend's spiky hair with his fingers. "Had a good time tonight, buddy. Thanks for takin' me out there."

"Me too, Joey. Thanks for everything, and Merry Christmas."

"You too."

Inside, Joey quickly undressed and crawled sleepily under the bedcovers, wanting nothing more than a few hours of dreamless rest, but not before he took care of one very important matter. He groped in the pocket of his discarded jeans and pulled out his cell phone, hitting redial and awaiting that familiar voice.

"Joey? Hello? Joey, are you there?"

"S'ry Seto. Must've dozed off while it was still ringin'."

Seto's voice was hypnotic and soothing, and not at all helpful in Joey's current state of exhaustion. "It's late there; you must be tired. Did you have a nice evening?"

"Yeah. I got a phone number off of a pair of hot twins who may or may not be legal, and Yugi thinks the mole on my butt is cute."

Lengthy silence again, broken at last by the sound of a deep sigh. "What exactly are you trying to do to me here, Joey? I'm already starting to see grey hairs in the mirror, you know."

"Bet they look sexy."

"Yeah, they go great with the bags under my eyes, too."

Joey snuggled deeper under the covers, his voice dropping down to barely a whisper. "Gonna take good care of you when you get back home... won't let you work too hard..."

On the other end of the line, Seto swiped a hand across his eyes and stared incredulously at the stray teardrop resting on the tip of his finger. "You always take good care of me Joey. I wish I was there to take care of you, for once."

"S'OK... just miss you so much..." Joey yawned, the remainder of his speech coming out garbled and indecipherable from Seto's end.

"I don't have the words to explain it, Joey, but this is killing me inside. I don't want to be here, but I don't see a way for me not to be here, if that makes any kind of sense. I know you're lying there right now, in that huge bed, all alone, and if I concentrate hard enough, I can practically feel my arms around you." He laughed bitterly. "You might as well be in another galaxy for all the good my overactive imagination does either of us. If it were up to me..." Seto rested his forehead in his hand and took a deep breath. "Who am I kidding? It's not up to me, and I can't stand another damn second of this! I don't have any control over anything that happens here, and if I was any kind of man or lover at all I'd just --" He lurched to his feet, pacing furiously about the confines of his hotel suite like a caged lion. "I'd tell them all to take a flying fuck and hop the nearest plane, boat, rocket or hot air balloon to get back to you. Back to your smile, and your warmth, and your --" A soft, raspy sound could be heard through the earpiece, and Seto paused in the middle of his tirade to listen intently. "Joey? Are you awake?" A gurgling snore was the only response to his question, and Seto smiled to himself as he sat back down on the edge of the bed. "You really did have a good time tonight, didn't you? It takes quite a workout to wear my pup down, so I suppose I should be jealous of Yugi, in a way. He gets to spend time with you during the holidays, hear your laughter, watch your eyes light up with joy and curiosity. But I wonder, does he appreciate the privilege as much as I do? I doubt very much that he does..." Seto tenderly touched the receiver on the phone, imagining in its stead a pair of full lips being caressed by his fingertips. "In any case, you won't remember a word of this in the morning, so I'll simply bid you a fond goodnight. Merry Christmas, Joey. Pleasant dreams." Seto planted a soft, silent kiss to the mouthpiece before replacing it gently on its charger and making his way into the adjacent bathroom. Brusquely, he adjusted his tie in the mirror, and stared balefully at the image of his red-rimmed blue eyes reflected back at him. He looked like hell, he felt like hell, and he honestly couldn't remember ever being this miserable in all his twenty two years.

For just a moment, he experienced a surge of irrational anger. Was this what love was all about? This pain and frustration that caused his chest to ache unbearably and tied his stomach up in constant knots? If so, then love was of no use to him, and he should be feeling resentment instead of loneliness. The moment passed swiftly, however, when he heard the sound of a familiar voice right beside his ear: "You've got it all wrong, Seto. Love's not makin' you feel this way. It's regret, plain and simple. Now what are you gonna do about it?"

The revelation hit him like a blow from a sledgehammer, and he clawed the silk tie from around his neck and flung it to the floor. Lying back on the bed, Seto ignored his limousine driver's tentative knock at the door, and stared resolutely at the blank ceiling above. In Seto's mind, the question of the century had been posed, and he pondered it with fierce determination. Just what, exactly, did he intend to do about it?

**xxxxxxxxxxXXXXXxxxxxxxxxx**

tbc

Author's note:

Items used in this chapter:

(13) Joey running down a hall, naked, carrying a four foot candy cane.

(14) Ice skating under a full moon.

(15) A midnight bonfire.

Word Count:

5651 this chapter / 36556 total thus far


	9. Chapter 8

Title: Wish (8/9)

Author: WhosJeebus

Rating: M

Pairing(s): Joey/Seto, scads of others, & even a few surprises

Beta: Jennie B.

Spoilers: Some mentions of Battle City, and vague references to general  
events from the anime series

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, but if someone wants to give it to  
me as a Christmas gift, I certainly won't argue about it...

Summary: Seto won't be home for the holidays, but can Joey's friends  
and family manage to show him a holly jolly time, anyway? Sometimes,  
Christmas miracleshappen in the most unexpected of ways...

A/N: I am lame, lazy, and frequently depressed. But, I am alive.I was also kind of hospitalized for a while, too. NOT in a mental institution, smart-asses. Anyway, as well all know, Me teh suck. Hope you enjoy the eighth chapter, and aren't inclined to hurl bricks at me if you pass me on the street. (much hugs and kisses and various other methods of apology)

**xxxxxxxxxxXXXXXxxxxxxxxxx**

Chapter 8:  
(Christmas Eve)

It was dark when Joey exited through the side door of the now-silent and deserted mall, and he ducked his head down inside the collar of his coat to protect himself from the wind and bitter chill. With only the top half of his face exposed to the cold, he lifted his eyes to glance up at the night time sky, seeking any visible evidence of the blizzard that was supposedly bearing down on them at this very moment. Despite the occasional, frigid gusts that quickened his breathing and sent shivers down his spine, Joey could still discern large swaths of clear blackness peeking through the clouds, the inky patchwork liberally sprinkled with a dusting of bright stars. The sight was dramatic, even somewhat mesmerizing, which was probably why he missed seeing the horse -- right up until the point where he walked into the side of it.

He fell back on the frozen pavement with a loud grunt, only to hear a familiar, girlish giggle from somewhere above him. "Serenity?"

She came over and helped him back up onto his feet, still laughing. "Merry Christmas, big brother! I'm sorry; I probably should have warned you to watch out, but you just looked so cute all bundled up and staring at the sky. Just like a little boy!"

Blushing, Joey grinned sheepishly at his little sister, and then focused his attention on the bizarre spectacle behind her. "You know, when I parked my car here this morning, it was still just a plain, old Toyota. This... " He indicated the waiting horse and sleigh with a sweep of his hand, "Is somethin' new altogether. Don't tell me this is what happens when the warranty's up."

"No, silly." Serenity climbed up inside the sleigh and patted the plush, velvet seat beside her. "I hope you don't mind, but I had Mokuba drive your car on over to the party at the Black Crown. Which, by the way, you're still invited to if you've changed your mind. But for now, you and I are going to take a little ride in a one horse open sleigh. Now quit stalling and hop on up here!"

Joey eyed the massive Clydesdale with distrust, and shuffled his feet. "Are you sure you know how to handle this thing?" He jerked a thumb toward the horse and stage-whispered, "Because he looks pretty vicious, if you ask me."

"Her name is Myrtle, and she's got the disposition of a kitten. Besides, Rebecca taught me everything she knows about horses, so you'll be perfectly safe with me, cowboy. Now climb aboard and let's get this show on the road. Or didn't you know that there's a storm coming?"

Joey seated himself in the small sleigh with trepidation, and despite her urging to the contrary, Serenity seemed in no great hurry to get anywhere soon as she expertly guided them through the winding streets of downtown Domino. Their leisurely pace took them past a number of landmarks that they remarked on from their childhood, each bringing its own memories and associations with it. The old, abandoned church that the neighborhood kids had routinely dared each other to enter was now a vacant lot, though the creepy, old cemetery still stood next to it, ageless and untouched. When they drove up beside the wrought-iron gate that marked the entrance to Domino City Park, Serenity pulled the sleigh over to the curb, sighing wistfully when she spotted the closed and chained gate. "Phooey. I was hoping to at least get a peek inside. I haven't had a chance to visit since I moved back, and this place was practically a second home to me when we were kids."

The park's entrance was situated on top of one of the largest hills in Domino, and the two siblings paused there a moment to gaze down at the serene, snow-covered landscape of their home town. Serenity reached over and took Joey's hand in her own, rubbing it briskly with her gloved fingers when she felt the older boy's shivering. "Joey! You're half frozen! Why didn't you say something?" She reached down into one of several paper shopping bags at her feet and produced a matching green set of gloves, a winter hat, and a warm, woolen scarf. "No point saving these til tomorrow, I guess. There are plenty more presents with your name on them, but you need these now." She scooted over and began wrapping her brother in the protective garments, patiently tolerating his squirming and good-natured fussing until she was satisfied with the results. "There. Now you'll stay toasty warm."

"Thanks, sis. These are really nice. Not like the itchy kind that Dad always bought."

At the mention of their father, Serenity's smile faltered slightly. "I'm really sorry we can't make your big dinner tomorrow, but I'm still looking forward to meeting Kim. What's she like?"

"Trust me, you'll love her. She's a great cook, she's funny, and she's got the patience of a saint."

"Well, she'd have to in order to put up with that infamous Wheeler temper. Although some Wheelers are worse than others..."

Joey narrowed his eyes and gave his sister a playful nudge. "What's that supposed to mean?"

She smiled at him and took the reins once more, continuing a bit further over the rise and guiding them clear of the yellow circles of light cast by the streetlamps. The view here was even more spectacular, providing not only a wide vista in which to gaze down upon the city, but also affording unlimited visibility of tonight's vast, star-filled sky. Ignoring the awe-inspiring sight for the moment, Serenity turned sideways in her seat and focused all of her attention on the young man beside her. "Joey, I think we need to have a talk."

He'd heard from various sources that no good could come from a woman uttering those words, but he had no idea what sort of lecture to anticipate from his sister, of all people.

But, instead of a lecture, he was treated to hazel eyes full of love and concern, and a gentle hand on his knee. "How are you holding up, big brother? And before you answer that question, keep in mind that I can always tell when you're lying."

"That why I never play poker with you," he joked. "Honestly? I'm doin' OK. I miss Seto like crazy, but I've had a lot on my plate to keep me busy, and all my friends have been great. I think I'll pull through."

"Speaking of your friends..." Serenity leaned over and pinched Joey's cheek playfully. "I hear that you've been making quite an impression on them lately with your little 'love doctor' routine."

Joey shrugged. "Meddling helps to pass the time."

"Well, I'd like to thank you for your 'meddling', and for having that little talk with Tristan the other day. It's really helped out a lot with our current situation. Did you know, he actually sat down with me and Duke and poured his heart out? I always thought that getting water from a stone would be easier, but he spilled everything -- his doubts about my commitment, his feelings for Duke... the whole enchilada, as he called it. I don't even want to think about how badly things might have gotten out of hand if you hadn't convinced him that he needed to open up."

Joey gazed upward and tried to look innocent. "That's good to hear. Are things gonna work out for you guys, you think?"

It was Serenity's turn to shrug. "Who can say for sure? I know I could never choose between the two of them, because that means one of them would be hurt, and I couldn't bear for that to happen. And I could never ask them to choose between each other and me for the same reason. Never, in my wildest dreams, did I imagine that those two would ever come to any sort of agreement or compromise. It boggles my mind." She tilted her head to the side and winked at Joey, a sly grin spreading slowly across her face. "As far as I'm concerned, I'm just the common denominator in a perfect equation, and to top it all off, those two together are totally hot."

Joey wrapped his arms around his head and began rocking back and forth. "Gah! I really didn't need to know that. Now all I wanna do is march on over to that party and beat the crap outta both of them." He looked up again after a moment, and tugged playfully at a lock of Serenity's chestnut hair. "Weird as it is, I'm happy for you -- all three of you -- and if anything I said or did had somethin' to do with it, then that just goes to show you how good I am at tellin' other people what to do. I should be runnin' this whole damn place in no time..."

"I see that Seto's megalomania is finally starting to rub off on you. If I were you, I'd maybe try starting out a bit smaller. Will you be setting up your advice stand any time soon, Joey Van Pelt?"

Laughing at the thought, Joey deflected his sister's comments and continued to play up his part as the modest mediator. Even faint praise made him uncomfortable in these types of situations, and he knew that Serenity was one of a very small number of people with the ability to see right through his brash, braggart's exterior.

"Look. Everything that's gone on over the past few days has been completely unintentional. I mean, they're the ones that were s'posed to be cheerin' me up, for fuck's sake. I don't like to go stickin' my nose in where it's not wanted, but I can't stand seein' the people I care about unhappy, either. If I'm able to figure out a way to help them solve their problems, then I can't just let it go. You should know that better than anybody, so no thanks necessary, OK?" His amber eyes pleaded with her to let him off the hook, change the subject, just... anything but the mushy stuff. Unfortunately, despite his knack for handing out advice, Joey Wheeler rarely had the faintest idea what was best for himself.

Serenity was aware of all this already, and she merely patted his cheek reassuringly. "I know, and I'm glad you've been able to help so many people with your own insight and experience. It shows an amazing amount of true Christmas spirit, and I can't tell you how thrilled I am to see it. I spent a lot of time worrying about you after Mom and Dad split up, especially around the holidays. I sometimes heard stories from Mom, and some of the other relatives that were still living in Domino; things that just made me heartsick. Even worse was knowing that I was helpless; that there was nothing I could do for either of you back then. All I could do was wonder whether or not you'd be able to find your way back from that dark place on your own. I hadn't even seen you, or talked to you, in ages, so I prayed that you were still strong enough to recapture the soul of that sweet, little boy I used to know."

Joey's face was flaming scarlet with embarrassment by now, and he was desperate to move on to a safer topic of conversation. Sure, the holidays were supposed to be about sharing, and togetherness, but there simply had to be limits or guidelines for these kinds of things... "Hey, I'm the older brother here, so I'm it's my job to be the worrier in the family. It's me who's supposed to want to take care of you; not the other way around. Get it straight next time."

Realizing that Joey wasn't going to drop his defenses so easily, Serenity leaned back against the seat and sighed in frustration. "And you have taken care of me, Joey. You've given me a lifetime's worth of support and affection, and that's just over the past few years. You gave me my sight, brought me back into a real family, introduced me to the two greatest loves of my life. I wouldn't be the same person I am today, if it weren't for you. Surely you can see that by now?"

"Aww... you're makin' me all misty-eyed here."

Growling irritably, Serenity punched her brother lightly in the stomach and declared, "I give up. You're hopeless."

"Yeah, but you love me anyway."

Despite the light-hearted banter, somber, busy thoughts churned in both siblings' minds, and they fell into a comfortable silence together. Serenity rested her head on Joey's shoulder, and the two gazed up at the stars, captivated by the stunning show that the cosmos, and Mother Nature herself, seemed to be putting on just for them. Darkened storm clouds swirled and maneuvered above them, alternately revealing and hiding the constellations from their view, and the overall effect was nothing less than breathtaking. While his younger sister remained motionless with her eyes glued to the heavens, it seemed that the timeless, atmospheric dance exerted limited power over Joey's wayward attention span. Yawning, he looked away for a split second, only to whip his head back around at the sound of Serenity's startled gasp.

"Joey! Did you see that?"

"See what?"

"A shooting star!"

"Nope. Missed it."

"Oh! I have to make a wish on it!"

Serenity closed her eyes tight and concentrated, while Joey looked on, puzzled by this odd behaviour. The intensity she displayed bespoke a private, practiced ritual, and he felt a bit like an intruder for having witnessed it. Opening her eyes once more, she smiled brightly at the bemused expression on her brother's face. "There. All I have to do now is wait."

"You seem pretty confident that it's gonna come true." Joey glanced over at Myrtle. "You didn't happen to wish for a pony by any chance, did you?

Serenity laughed. "Of course not! A wish on a shooting star is too precious to waste on something trivial. I'll have you know that I've never made a wish on a falling star that didn't come true," she said proudly. "Although, maybe not always in the way that I had hoped..."

"What? You mean like in a gruesome, 'monkey's paw' kinda way?"

"No! It's more like..." A worried expression flashed across her face for a moment, but then she chuckled at her own silliness. "I guess the not-telling rule doesn't apply if the wish has already come true, huh?" Thinking back, she spoke slowly, hesitantly. "The first wish I remember making was when I was eight. I stood at my bedroom window late one night when you were asleep, and I was scared stiff that you were going to wake up and make fun of me. I just wanted Mom and Dad to stop fighting..." Averting her eyes, Serenity stared off into distance. "Well, it turns out that's exactly what I got, but I also lost you in the process. After that, I didn't make any more wishes for a long, long time."

Joey was speechless at Serenity's confession. In lieu of words, he slipped a comforting arm around his sister's shoulders and gave her a gentle squeeze of encouragement.

"More than anything, I wanted to wish for you to come back, but I was afraid of being greedy. Instead, I wished for you to be happy, wherever you were, and even though I didn't know it at the time, it wasn't long before you found Yugi and Tristan, and all the rest. They helped you begin to find your way back to me on your own."

"Serenity..."

"Let me finish. Please. I -- I need to say all of this to you, while I still have the words for it, OK?"

"Sure, Sis."

Serenity inhaled sharply before releasing a deep, shaky breath "Even while I was slowly going blind, I only allowed myself to wish for two simple things. The first was that I wouldn't wind up being a burden on anyone else, and the second was that I might get to see you again with my own eyes, just one more time. You really came through for me with that operation. Even with all the terror and confusion going on at the time, the day that I was able to take those bandages off and see you again was when I truly knew that my wish had been granted. That day, I felt like I could finally begin to repay you for everything you'd done. But even after that, you've only ever kept giving, and not just to me, Joey -- to everyone."

"Hey, you saved my life that day. That puts us way beyond even."

Serenity's eyes were wide and brimming with unshed tears, and she clutched at Joey's hands as she relentlessly ploughed on. "That's just it! It's not about being even. It's about being able to show you care for someone else, and to keep doing it in ways that will never cause them to doubt you, or forget how much they're loved."

Joey embraced his sister fiercely, feeling his own eyes begin prickle a bit at the corners. "That's the hard part, Sis. Most of us drop the ball on that one, but not you."

Smiling in spite of the teardrops that still threatened, Serenity nodded her head against his shoulder. "Sometimes, when you love someone so much, your heart just fills up with it a little more each day. When it becomes so full that you can hardly stand it, you have to do something to relieve the pressure or you think you might just burst apart from feeling that way. I can't really describe it any better, but when I start to feel like that, then I know it's the right time to make a wish. And that's why they always come true -- because all of my heart's in it."

Serenity pulled back from the embrace and looked up at her brother. She was crying openly now, and Joey had a huge lump in his throat that refused to go away. Before he wound up embarrassing himself further, he attempted to steer the conversation into less treacherous waters. He coughed loudly into his fist and asked haltingly, "Every wish comes true, you say?"

Still unable to speak, she nodded.

"Did you go and wish for me and Seto to be together, too? 'Cause if you did, I should probably be thankin' you for that one right about now."

Serenity laughed and shook her head, self-consciously swiping at her still-streaming eyes. "That one falls under my original wish for you, Joey. You just weren't truly happy until you found someone to share that happiness with."

"Hot damn! If it works that well, then I may have to give this wishin' thing a try for myself."

Serenity placed her hands on either side of Joey's face and tilted his head toward the sky. "There's no time like the present," she said, pointing encouragingly at the brightest patch of stars visible.

"Uh... OK. What should I wish for? I sure could use a new watch, " he teased. "My old one is scratched all to hell."

She giggled and poked Joey in the ribs. "You have to wait for it first. Only shooting stars count. And besides, that would be a selfish wish, and I do believe we've already discussed those."

"Oh, yeah."

As Joey avidly scanned the night sky, Serenity studied her brother's profile and murmured aloud, "On second thought, if anyone on the face of this planet deserves to make a selfish wish, then it's you, Joey Wheeler. Just be sure that it's a wish you make from your heart."

Joey had only managed to pinpoint several airplanes and satellites so far, but he wasn't about to give up that easily. "It will be, Serenity. There's this big chunk of my heart that's missin' right now, and I want it back."

As they sat leaning back to back and surveying the darkness, a bright flash lit the skies directly above them, and a large meteor shot straight across the horizon, leaving streaks on their vision. Serenity squealed and tackled her older brother against the seatback. "Get it, Joey!"

He clenched his fists and closed his eyes, focusing every ounce of his formidable will on the one thing that he wanted most in the entire world. When he looked up again at last, Serenity was leaning over him, her face beaming with excitement. He felt slightly dizzy and drained, but mostly just foolish. "How do I know if it worked?"

"You'll know when you know."

"Gee, that's helpful."

A sudden gust of wind caught Serenity's hat and sent it flying, and Joey vaulted over the edge of the sleigh to give chase. He returned a few minutes later with his evasive quarry, brushing the snow off with his gloves. "Let's get you to your party, Sis. This weather looks like it could turn nasty at any second."

They arrived at the Black Crown to find the festivities in full swing, most of the guests having already finished up their meal and taken up residence on the dance floor. Serenity left to make arrangements for Myrtle while Joey stood in the doorway and observed the pulsating throng of holiday revelers.

"Hey there, sailor. How about taking a quick spin out on the floor with me?" Joey whirled around to spot a smiling Mai Valentine, resplendent in a slinky, purple gown, and her long, blond tresses woven into an intricate braid atop her head.

"Sorry, darlin'. As you can see, I'm not quite dressed for the occasion." He gestured at his baggy, green army coat and khaki pants. "I'm just droppin' off my sister, I'm afraid."

"Hn. Your loss."

"I do believe we've had this conversation before."

Mai laughed and kissed him on the cheek. "I've missed you, sunshine. I wish you could stay for the party; we've got us some catching up to do."

"You know where to find me, sweet cheeks. Go left out of the parkin' lot and drive until you see the biggest fucking house in the world."

"Mmm... don't I know it! You landed yourself quite a catch there, Joey. Got any trade secrets you feel like sharing?"

Joey grinned widely. "Not anything you haven't already taught me, hot stuff."

Mai walked away laughing, and soon returned with two glasses of champagne. She handed one to Joey and raised a toast. "Merry Christmas, Joey. Here's to old times."

"To old times." He sipped his drink while he waited for Serenity to get back, spotting several of his friends in the crowd and cheerfully waving to them. "Hey, Mai... do you know what the deal was with all the rescue and emergency vehicles parked out front? Did someone get hurt?"

Mai doubled over and spat out a mouthful of champagne. Joey was worried at first, until he realized that she was gasping for breath due to uncontrollable laughter, and not anything detrimental to her health. "I'm sorry Joey," she wheezed. "It's just that I crack up every time I even think about it..." She trailed off into hysterical giggles again, and Joey wondered just how many glasses of champagne she'd already had tonight. "Duke had a giant, fake chimney and fireplace built special just for tonight. Everyone thought it was for ambience or something, but he was actually trying to..." More helpless laughter. "Trying to make this grand, theatrical entrance dressed in a Santa suit..." She beat one fist against the wall and wrapped an arm around her aching sides. "He got stuck in it!" she howled, and Joey found himself unable to resist joining in. "The paramedics and the fire department were called in, and they had to demolish the whole damn thing just to get him out!"

At that moment, the man of the hour himself strode into view, yelling at another laughing party-goer over his shoulder. "The next person who makes a wiseass comment about my weight is going to get stabbed in the face!" Duke was dressed from head to toe in shiny, red leather and buckles, with a jaunty, red Santa cap perched atop his flowing, black locks. "It was faulty construction, and there will be a lawsuit, mark my words!" He spied Mai and Joey standing in the doorway, and swooped down on them. "Mai! Jesus Christ you look gorgeous! Isn't this party the worst disaster you've ever seen? Let's run away together, right now!" He leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to her extended hand, obviously choosing to ignore the fact that she was gnawing on her bottom lip to keep from laughing. "Joey! I thought you weren't coming tonight! Is Serenity with you?"

"She's uh, parking the car, I guess you could say."

"Great!" He glanced over his shoulder and waved to a couple just coming through the front door. "I tell you, this night's gone to hell in a handbasket already, so you know what? Fuck the dress code! Everybody come on in and mingle!" He stood on tip toes and gazed anxiously across the room. "I'd love to stay and chat, but I've got to find out where the hell Tris' took off to. He had a digital camera on him earlier, and I've got to track him down and destroy any and all evidence of the... unfortunate incident." He shuddered. "Tell your sister to come find me when she gets in. Merry freakin' Christmas, you guys!" He flounced off again, stopping here and there to greet various guests and scan the crowd for the elusive brunet.

Mai handed her empty champagne flute to a passing waiter. "Well, honey buns, I think I'm going to go and make like a social butterfly, too. Come dance with me if you decide to stick around, alright?"

"Sure thing, Mai."

She took two steps back toward the dance floor, but then paused and turned around again, worry evident in her dark, violet eyes. "Joey... you haven't by any chance seen Bakura around lately, have you?"

Joey shook his head. "He and Ryou dropped by my place a few days ago to murder some Christmas decorations, but I haven't heard from him since. Did you check with Ry?"

"Yeah. I cornered him at dinner, but that was the last time he's seen 'Kura, too. I'm starting to get a little worried about him."

"Don't be. I'm sure he can take care of himself." Mai nodded and waved again, disappearing back into the gyrating crowd. Joey wandered back toward the main entrance, raising a hand in passing to Téa and Marik, who were both busy shaking their respective groove thangs beneath the spinning disco ball and flashing lights. To their left, Mokuba stood with Yami and Ishizu, having what appeared to be a serious, in-depth discussion. The teen looked up at Joey questioningly, raising his eyebrows and pointing to his wristwatch. Joey just waved him off, receiving a sunny, grateful smile in return. Curfews were Seto's schtick, not his. The kid deserved to have a little fun on Christmas Eve, not be forced to spend it getting snowed in with his mopey, almost-brother in law.

He spied Serenity as she entered the room, and he immediately crossed over to her, giving her a warm hug and murmuring his farewells into her ear. He was exhausted, the weather was growing rapidly worse, and at the moment, all he wanted was a little peace and quiet. He still needed to call Seto and wish him a Merry Christmas, and it would certainly do him a world of good to hear his lover's voice again, even if it was only over the telephone.

Stepping outside, he braced himself against the wind and snow, scanning the parking lot for his car. He fished around in his front pocket for his keys, nearly dropping them into a snowbank when he finally located his little, silver Toyota. It was parked right up against the front of the building, in the space formerly reserved for the general manager. Someone, most likely Duke, had taped a sheet of paper reading, 'Reserved for Dog-Boy' across the sign, even going so far as to draw a crude caricature of a dog and a fire hydrant underneath the words. Laughing to himself as he scraped the accumulated snow from his windshield, Joey mused that it probably could have been much, much worse. Among Duke's various nicknames for him, 'Blondie', 'Fleabag', and 'Kaiba's Bitch' were the current running favourites, so he supposed he should be grateful for the small consideration. The potential illustrations for that last one alone were alarming enough.

On the snowy drive home, Joey took out his cell phone and tried to ring Seto in Hong Kong, but with no luck. He'd woken up this morning with the phone stuck to the side of his face, and it had been a number of hours later before the keypad indentations had faded from his cheek. He'd tried phoning again several more times throughout the day, but was only ever able to reach the brunet's voicemail. He just prayed that Seto wasn't angry with him for dozing off in the middle of their conversation last night.

He made it home without major incident, though the storm had picked up considerably along the way. He hoped that all the party-goers at the Black Crown had enough sense to stay put for the night, because this particular blizzard seemed to be gradually working its way toward 'storm of the century' contention.

Once inside, Joey shrugged off his coat and busied himself in the kitchen with last minute preparations for Christmas dinner. Things would hopefully go off without a hitch tomorrow -- provided they weren't all swallowed by the next ice age before then.

Some last minute gift wrapping was the final chore that required his attention for the evening, and when the last present had been deposited under the tree in the den, he stood with his hands on his hips, pondering what to do with himself. A week ago, this Christmas was already shaping up to be one of the oddest on record, but he'd certainly never expected to be bored by the time the holiday itself had actually rolled around.

He glanced at down at his cell phone and noted the time as being several hours prior to midnight. Almost Christmas Day. This meant that Seto should be up and bustling about in his hotel suite, preparing for yet another long day of meetings, and other, corporate... stuff. Joey's mind compulsively circled this thought as he dialled the number by rote. Just what the hell did Seto do in his office all day long, anyway?

As he waited for Seto to pick up the line, Joey opened the front door and stepped out onto the porch. The wind gusted over his slender form, making him shiver from head to toe as he stared out across the front lawn. He couldn't see much through the blinding sheets of white, but just for a second, he'd thought he'd glimpsed... Nah, it couldn't be.

Seto's voicemail picked up once again, and Joey shut the phone with an irritated snap. He replaced it in his pocket and turned to go back inside, fully intent on fixing himself a hot drink and taking up residence by the fireplace. A sudden movement at the edge of his field of vision caught his eye, and he whirled around quickly, just in time to witness a tall, dark form emerge from the swirling maelstrom of wind and snow. The figure lurched forward and fell roughly against him, shoving them both back through the open door and into the front entry hall. Joey, frightened nearly out of his wits, jumped backwards to relative safety as the heavy body that had assaulted him fell forward onto its knees. The figure lifted its head, and deep, pools of azure blue gazed up at him out of a mask of deathly pale skin.

Seto Kaiba, smiling beatifically at the sight of his lover, managed to croak out, "Merry Christmas, Joey," just before those same blue eyes rolled back in his head, and he passed out cold on the marble floor.

**xxxxxxxxxxXXXXXxxxxxxxxxx**

tbc

Author's notes:

Items used in this chapter:

(16) A sleigh or hay ride.

(17) A major rain or snow storm.

(18) Someone gets stuck in a chimney.

Word Count:

5402 this chapter / 41958 total thus far


	10. Chapter 9

Title: Wish (9/9)

Author: WhosJeebus

Rating: M

Pairing(s): Joey/Seto, scads of others, & even a few surprises

Beta: Jennie B.

Spoilers: None

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, but if someone wants to give it to  
me as a Christmas gift, I certainly won't argue about it...

Summary: Seto won't be home for the holidays, but can Joey's friends  
and family manage to show him a holly jolly time, anyway? Sometimes,  
Christmas miracles happen in the most unexpected of ways...

**xxxxxxxxxxXXXXXxxxxxxxxxx**

Chapter 9:  
(Christmas Eve)

"Seto!"

Joey could hardly believe what his own two eyes were telling him. He pinched himself to make sure that he wasn't dreaming, and then, for no clear reason whatsoever, he reached down and pinched Seto as well. The other boy was practically frozen solid. A particularly vicious gust of wind suddenly forced itself through the open door, and Joey was snapped back to his senses. "Shit! We've got to you warmed up!" He grabbed the unconscious figure by the arm, tugging the remainder of the lanky body inside the house, and then closed the front door. Slender as he was, Seto was no lightweight, and Joey was at a loss for what to do next. A flash of inspiration hit, and he trotted over to the den to retrieve the large, warm throw that he and Ryou had dozed so cozily beneath just a few nights ago. Spreading it out on the floor, he heaved, and grunted, and pushed until he was able to roll Seto over onto it, and then proceeded to drag his inert boyfriend back into the den with him. The flooring from here to there was all marble, making for easier maneuverability with his precious burden, and it was also the closest room with a fireplace. He was far too preoccupied with the situation at hand to stop and bother with any larger issues that awaited his attention.

Even unconscious, Seto seemed to be doing his stubborn best to thwart Joey's every move. He finally had to settle for shoving a mound of gifts out of the way and leaving the prone form lying on his back, sprawled halfway under the Christmas tree. This was the closest he could position Seto to the warmth of the roaring fire, and Joey ran to fetch more blankets in order to make up for any remaining heat loss. He was about to simply wrap the chilled boy in the heap of blankets and be done with it, when he finally noticed how Seto's dark, auburn hair clung wetly to the contours of his face and neck. He reached down and felt the collar of the blue dress shirt the brunet was wearing. Shit. He was soaked to the skin! How long had he been out there in that blizzard? And why?

Methodically, Joey stripped Seto down to his silk boxers with practiced ease, becoming more and more alarmed as inch after inch of ghostly white, goose-pimpled flesh was revealed. Thoughts of hypothermia and frost bite spun frantically through his brain, and he grabbed his cell phone to call Ryou for advice, only to wind up cursing when he received no answer. He took a deep breath to calm his racing heart. He knew this; he could do this. What was it they always did in the survival stories on TV? Body heat. Right. He quickly disrobed down to his own underwear and lay on the floor next to Seto, pulling the blankets tightly over them both. Oh, Jesus Christ, it was like cuddling with a giant Popsicle! He wrapped his arms around the taller boy's torso and tried to achieve as much skin on skin contact as possible. Seto's arms hung loosely at his sides, and Joey shifted awkwardly, attempting to pull them in closer to him. He reached over and grabbed one pale wrist, only to discover that Seto's right hand was locked into a fist, and wouldn't budge. Gently, he pried open the stiff fingertips one by one, finding a small, badly crushed sprig of mistletoe clutched tightly in his palm.

Joey blinked, feeling strangely numb and detached from his body as a rush of emotions and memories assailed him all at once. When Seto had called to tell him he wouldn't be there for Christmas, Joey had been heartbroken and devastated, but he hadn't given into despair and cried, preferring instead to focus on all the positive aspects left to the holiday season. When Seto had blatantly accused him of infidelity, hot, angry tears had threatened on several occasions, but he'd held them back through sheer force of will. When Serenity had opened up to him about her secret pain, and demonstrated the amazing depths of her love for him, he'd wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms and join his sobs with her own, but he had been determined to prove that he was still the strong one; the who would always be there for her. Now, gazing down at the tiny, pitiful symbol of love and holiday spirit that Seto had stubbornly refused to relinquish throughout his ordeal, Joey finally allowed the teardrops to course unheeded down his cheeks, forming a pool of cooling liquid on the planes of Seto's chest.

As Joey cried silently against him, Seto opened his eyes and lifted a hand to caress the glowing nimbus of gold that rested underneath his chin. Was he really home? Did he actually make it? He carded his fingers through soft blond hair and murmured sleepily, "Joey? Is this real?"

Joey sniffed and wiped at his eyes. "You'd better hope not. You know how much I fuckin' hate cryin'."

Seto was confused. Maybe he'd flash-frozen some of his higher brain functions along with the rest of him. "Why are you crying?"

Rising up on his forearms, Joey glared down into weary, sapphire eyes. "Because you're a hopeless idiot, that's why! What the hell were you thinkin'! You could have frozen to death out there! What if I hadn't been standin' on the front porch with the light on? You might not have even seen the mansion in this storm! What if --"

Seto reached up to stem the flow of words with his fingertips. "But I did see you. And now I'm here. Why does anything else have to matter?"

Joey's mouth fell open in shock. "God, you are such a --" He didn't finish his sentence, choosing instead to let his actions speak for him as he leaned down and crushed his lips to Seto's own.

Hunger, heat, and simple, delirious relief flooded Seto's system at the familiar sensation of his lover against him once more, and he responded to the kiss with every ounce of passion that he could muster. It wasn't enough, however, and no matter how willing his spirit might have been, his flesh was far too weak. Physical stimulus was what he craved more than anything at that moment, but it was his own bodily limitations that thwarted that desire in the end. He broke away from the kiss, his hands sliding limply from Joey's shoulders as, little by little, all forms of sensory perception drifted slowly out of reach. "Joey... I can't... I don't think I can keep --" he yawned, unable to communicate the extent of his bone-weariness at that moment.

"Hush. Go on to sleep, and I'll be right here when you wake up."

Seto required no further encouragement as he allowed his eyes to slip all the way closed, and he was quickly carried off into exhausted slumber.

When next he woke, it was to the sensation of a warm hand tracing gently across his abdomen in rhythmic circles, fingertips occasionally dipping just below the waistband of his boxers. It felt too good to be real, yet he knew that it had to be. He was home, and he was with Joey. Those two, basic facts were all that mattered in his world right now.

Dozing off once again, he had just become accustomed to the gentle ministrations to his body, when a second hand joined the first, sliding confidently up the inside of his leg and beneath his boxers. Knowing fingers wrapped tightly around his hardening shaft and brought him instantly to full wakefulness. He sucked in a sharp breath. "God... Joey..." The blond's lips descended on his once more, effectively stifling any further comments. Joey's tongue was questing, insistent, as it gently coaxed his own out to play. The kiss ended, and Seto made a soft noise of disappointment under his breath. "I was just dreaming about this."

Joey licked slowly up the side of his neck, eliciting a full-body shudder from the boy underneath him. "I know."

Seto furrowed his brow. "How...?"

"You were moanin' my name in your sleep."

"Oh."

"Was it a naughty dream or a nice dream?"

Seto thought back for a moment. "Definitely naughty."

"Let's see if we can't make it a reality, then."

Joey reached down and stroked even harder at the heated flesh between Seto's thighs, and when the brunet arched his back in pleasure, his underwear was swiftly tugged completely off and tossed aside. As aroused as he was, a thought had just occurred to him. "Joey, did you just throw my boxers in the fireplace?"

The movement paused. "I don't think so. Is now really the time you'd like for me to go and check?"

"Good point." Silk or not, he had plenty more.

The sensuous stroking began again as a hot tongue drew wet patterns on his stomach, angling closer and closer to the center of his aching need. He arched his spine backwards, knowing he was being obvious and wanton about where he wanted that tongue to go next, and not really caring in the slightest. A high-pitched, keening sound had begun building in the back of his throat when, abruptly, both the tongue and hand were gone.

Growling in frustration, Seto opened his eyes to find Joey standing naked in front of the fireplace, muttering to himself as he frantically pawed through the various knick-knacks on top the mantelpiece. "Dammit! I know I left it here somewhere..."

Seto had run out of patience. Staring fixedly at Joey's bobbing rear end, he demanded, "What the hell are you doing? Get your ass back down here and --" He glanced upwards once again. "What are you wearing on your head?"

"Huh?" Joey's eyebrows shot up and he crossed his eyes, looking for all the world as if were actually trying to view the top of his own skull. He reached one hand up and patted absently at the red velvet Santa cap perched atop his tousled mane. "Oh. That. I was cold, and I didn't want to wake you by gettin' up. This was the only thing close at hand, so..."

He grasped the edge of the hat, intending to pull it off, when Seto's voice stopped him. "No. Leave it on."

Joey grinned widely. "Like I said before -- _depraved_." He rummaged around for a few more seconds, exclaiming, "Gotcha!" as he snatched at a small, red bottle.

"What's that?"

"Spiced cranberry massage oil."

"Nice. Where did it come from?"

Joey knelt back down amongst the nest of blankets, and even in the dim light cast by the Christmas tree and the fireplace, Seto could see a pink flush spread over the other boy's face and neck. "Ask me later."

Seto opened his mouth to make a very pointed remark about the merits of finishing what you start, but instead, he could only watch, mesmerized as Joey locked eyes with him and slowly, deliberately, poured a small amount of oil into the palm of his right hand. He made a fist and began rubbing his thumb, middle, and index fingers together methodically, spreading the lubrication. He never blinked or dropped his amber gaze from Seto's face, not even when he leaned forward and stabbed two fingers inside his lover's entrance.

Seto jumped a little, but the harsh penetration was counterbalanced by Joey's other hand resuming its rhythmic motion along his cock. Joey used the tips of his fingers to spread the pearly drops of precum around the head, jacking Seto off with increasing speed and firmness. The sensations were heavenly, but they were causing the tension to build far too quickly for Seto's tastes. Dammit, he'd wanted this to last... "Joey, slow down... Stop. I'm going to -- Ahhh! God!" Microcosmic tremors shook Seto's entire body and he came forcefully over Joey's skilled fist, throwing his head backwards as stars exploded behind his eyes. "Where the hell did you learn that?"

"Trade secret. Now -- lie back, relax, and --"

"Just go with the flow?"

"Actually, I was gonna say, stop tryin' to top from the bottom, but either works for me."

Smiling, Seto complied, and Joey's touches gentled immediately. He began a leisurely scissoring motion with the two fingers still buried inside his lover's aperture, adding a third digit within moments after feeling the loosened muscles relax even further. Though the steady, rocking motions were soothing and extremely arousing, Seto soon began to realize that Joey was deliberately avoiding brushing over his prostate gland. He opened his eyes to find the other boy avidly watching his facial expressions again, and he had the uncomfortable feeling that the blond was somehow reading his mind while he was at it.

He squirmed a bit, attempting to drive those maddening fingers deeper inside. "If you'd just --"

"Shhh."

"But, if you could --"

"What did I just say?"

Seto groaned, thwarted again as Joey removed his hand, giving the brunet a firm smack on the flank. "Turn over. I wanna hear you moan like a bitch in heat."

Seto felt his own face flush hotly, but he eagerly rolled himself onto his stomach in one fluid motion, catching a brief glimpse of Joey's self-satisfied smirk. Perversely, Seto's stubborn pride chose that particular moment to rear its ugly head, and he nearly resolved to just flip them both over make the blond work to earn that sardonic smile. Preferably with that big mouth of his. Seto shook his head in agitation with himself. What the hell was he thinking? He really had lost some valuable brain cells in that blizzard. No one in their right mind would turn down the opportunity to surrender completely to the blond bombshell that was his loving boyfriend, despite the fact that Joey frequently chose to be the submissive one. This was obviously not going to be one of those nights, and Seto didn't have it in himself to complain at this juncture. As Joey quickly positioned him up on his hands and knees, Seto still couldn't resist the urge to get in at least one decent jibe. "You know, I think you're entirely too smug for your own good."

"That's just because I _am_ that good."

Seto ground his teeth together and wracked his brain for an adequate rejoinder, but at that moment, he felt the tip of Joey's erection as it made contact with his entrance, the pressure against his opening building in agonizingly slow increments. This was sheer torture, of the very best kind. "Joey..."

"Oh, here we go again..."

"I'm not fighting you for control this time, I swear. I just wanted to point out that it's been --"

"Four months, sixteen days and eleven hours, to be precise," Joey said, exasperated.

Seto took a moment to wonder whether or not he should feel guilty for being a shameless top, but then he merely shrugged it off. "Err...right. Just go easy, OK?"

Joey sighed exaggeratedly, but didn't reply. He rolled his hips sharply, and began to press inside, inch by inch, repeating the same motion until he was entirely seated within his lover.

Seto must have been more relaxed or distracted than he'd realized, because with no further preamble, he found himself dropping down onto his forearms and urging, "Do it."

Joey pulled back slowly, and without warning, thrust forward hard enough to drive Seto's head into the outer branches of the Christmas tree. "God dammit, Joey!"

"Better brace yourself Seto, 'cause I ain't stoppin'." True to his word, he gave three firm pushes, each one a direct hit to that neglected pleasure spot, and Seto was instantaneously on the verge of another mind-blowing orgasm. His throat constricted with the urge to voice his need for more stimulation, but he stubbornly held back. A low growl, centered deep in his chest, was all that he would allow to escape

"Let's hear it..." Joey purred. He thrust forward again, this time establishing a steady, pounding, in-and-out motion that had Seto digging his elbows down into the of pile blankets and shoving backwards forcefully. Dammit. His body might be betraying him by acting the part of the shameless hussy, but there was no way in hell he would give Joey the satisfaction of sounding like one...

"C'mon..." Joey was panting for air now, and Seto could feel tiny droplets of sweat pattering down over his back like rain. At least the mutt wasn't having an easy time of it, either. Their sex wasn't often like this -- such a blatant battle of wills and clawing back and forth for control, but when it was... Seto's train of thought suddenly derailed as Joey's hand snaked around the front of his body and began teasing at his cock with light, feathery touches. "Maybe if I do _this_...?"

Desperately trying to ignore Joey's seductive urgings, he bit down hard on his lower lip, determined to hold back the embarrassing, mewling sounds that were struggling to be voiced. Joey shifted his weight and draped himself across Seto's back, changing the angle and leverage of his thrusts. He grabbed hold of Seto's narrow hips and redoubled his efforts, lifting the brunet's knees slightly off the ground with every powerful stroke. Joey's voice was hot and breathless at his ear, "Just one, tiny little moan...You know you want to..."

With nearly all of his bodily support centered on his hands and wrists, Seto had to turn his chief focus toward maintaining his balance, and was no longer able to adequately concentrate on holding back the noises. His rock-solid composure crumbled around him as the iron control he had formerly exerted abruptly shattered in a spectacular manner. "Ahhhhh...!"

With that first reluctant utterance, Joey knew that victory was his. He grasped Seto's unattended erection and pumped in time with his solid thrusts. "Louder..." he demanded.

"AHHHHH! Fuck!"

"You can do better than that..."

For Seto, there was no point in holding back now. "Oh God...! Harder..."

"Beg me."

"Please... Please, Joey...I want..."

The blond's mouth was on the back of his neck, biting down firmly, and one hand reached up to roughly tweak at his nipple. "What do you want?"

"Finish me..."

Joey moaned in appreciation of Seto's eagerness to obey, and if possible, his thrusts sped up even more, becoming erratic. The tingling began at the base of Seto's spine and cascaded over his entire body as Joey slammed against his buttocks one final time, both of them effortlessly crossing over into the ultimate bliss in perfect tandem. Seto clenched his eyes shut and released a mortified, honest-to-god squeak as he came all over his own chest and Joey's hand. To Seto's chagrin, Joey's own roar of completion was ragged, loud, and well...much more manly than his own. A rush of warmth flooded his insides as he felt the release of his lover's seed, and his tired, wobbly arms could no longer support their combined weight. He crashed forward onto his face as Joey collapsed heavily against him, shoving them both further up under the Christmas tree. Several ornaments were shaken off the tree by the impact, pelting down over the exhausted boys below, but neither took much notice of them.

"Holy shit..." Seto breathed.

Joey pressed his face into Seto's shoulder and nodded tiredly. He reached up to adjust his hat, which had, unsurprisingly, fallen rather askew. "Yeah. It was good for Santa too. Just one thing missin' though..."

"What's that?"

"Next time, I'm gettin' you a pair of antlers to wear."

Seto snorted and attempted to lever himself up onto his elbows. "Get off of me. We're crushing the presents."

Joey gently extricated himself from his lover, flopping over onto his back with a groan. As Seto busied himself with rearranging the gifts under the tree, the blond watched the play of the firelight over the smooth planes and angles of the brunet's lean body. "I'm so glad you're home, Seto. I still can't believe this is real."

"Believe it. Trust me when I say that getting here was no picnic."

"How on earth did you manage it? What happened to your big business deal?"

Seto knelt down and turned to give Joey a warm smile. "Let's just say that I took a page from the Joey Wheeler playbook of problem solving."

Joey raised one eyebrow. "How so?"

"I gave everyone the finger and did what _I _wanted."

Laughing, Joey lifted himself up and placed a soft kiss on Seto's lips. "You have learned much, my young Jedi apprentice."

"Don't laugh. You make telling the world to get bent seem much easier than it really is, you know. Flying by the seat of one's pants actually takes a good deal of careful planning." He sat back down on the gathered blankets, and pulled Joey over into his lap. "First, I had to arrange for Roland to fly the Blue Eyes White Dragon jet to me, and I pissed off Hong Kong air traffic control by ignoring the fact that my flight plan had been denied." He smirked. "Earned myself a lovely, personal escort from Chinese airspace for that one."

"Impressive. I knew you had it in you."

"Yes, but the least they could have done was warn me about that storm..." Seto shuddered. "Landing in a blizzard was sheer hell, but I wasn't going to let anything stop me once I'd come that far. I managed to track down a cab driver insane enough to drive in that mess, but no amount of cash that I waved in his face could convince him to take me any farther than the property boundaries." He became thoughtful for a moment, and then began scrounging around in the blankets, searching for something. His hand emerged clutching the pathetic bundle of mistletoe from before. "But, an extra twenty bought me this." He waved the mistletoe proudly. "He had it hanging from his rearview mirror, and when I saw it, I couldn't think of anything other than the look on your face when I showed up at the front door holding it." He chuckled to himself and pressed a kiss to the top of Joey's head. "That didn't really turn out like I'd planned, now did it? Honestly, I wasn't really thinking past my need to see you again, so I didn't even bring a coat with me. I hadn't counted on the keycard slot at the front gate being frozen solid either, and I had to scale the fence just to get in. The snow was so heavy that I couldn't see my hand in front of my face, so I was forced to rely on memory alone to lead me in the right direction. Finding you on the front porch was simply a combination of of instinct, determination, and a great deal of luck."

"Nah; that wasn't it."

Seto's eyebrows shot up into his hairline. "Excuse me? I believe I was there..."

Joey shook his head. "No, I'm tellin' you -- it was my wish."

"Your wish," he stated flatly.

"Yep. I wished on a fallin' star, and I put all my heart into it, so it came true."

Seto was still incredulous. "You're trying to tell me that all this was _your_ doing?" That I had no free will, or say in the matter whatsoever?"

"That's right."

Seto laughed, squeezing Joey tighter in his arms. "Well, if that's the case, then I'm glad you did. You deserve to have a few wishes come true."

The two boys sat in spellbound silence beneath the branches of the beautifully decorated Christmas tree, snuggled warmly in their comfortable nest of blankets. They stared into the flickering flames of the fireplace, neither feeling the need to speak and disturb the magical moment. They both realized full well that reality would intrude soon enough, and for now, this was a time and place set aside especially for them.

Seto glanced at his watch and saw that the midnight hour had passed without their knowledge. "It's Christmas, Joey. Did you get everything you wanted this year?"

"All that and more." Joey wound his fingers through Seto's own and leaned back against his lover's solid, reassuring form. "I used to think that I knew what the perfect Christmas would be like, and I built up a lot of hopes and dreams around that vision. Boy, was I ever wrong."

"How so?"

"The perfect Christmas isn't what they show you in the movies, and it's not even close to all those Norman Rockwell paintings, either."

"Then what is it?"

Joey turned around and gazed up at his lover, surprised that the clever brunet hadn't already figured it out for himself. "It this, Seto," he stated simply. "Just... this."

Seto feigned astonishment. "You know... I think you may be right. Someone should inform the marketing department of Kaiba Corp immediately. Millions are just waiting to be made."

Joey sighed. "Merry Christmas, Wise-ass."

"Merry Christmas, Mutt."

**xxxxxxxxxxXXXXXxxxxxxxxxx**

more to come...

Author's notes:

Items used in this chapter:

(19) A sprig of mistletoe.

Word Count:

4040 this chapter / 45998 total thus far


	11. Epilogue

Title: Wish (Epilogue)

Author: WhosJeebus

Rating: M

Pairing(s): Joey/Seto, scads of others, & even a few surprises

Beta: Jennie B. (Oy, vey! Such a godsend, she is!) & AngryHamster (much obliged for stepping in to provide backup)

Spoilers: None

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, but if someone wants to give it to  
me as a Christmas gift, I certainly won't argue about it...

Summary: Seto won't be home for the holidays, but can Joey's friends  
and family manage to show him a holly jolly time, anyway? Sometimes,  
Christmas miracleshappen in the most unexpected of ways...

A/N: OMG, it's finally over with. I'm so, SO sorry for being overduewith this, and for being such an unreliable shit about review replies. I have no excuse, and besides,I'm sure you guys have heard it all before.

First off, let me say a big THANK YOU to all those who bothered to leave me feedback about this piece. Every review means a lot, and I don't want ANYONE to think that I'm an ungrateful wretch. Wretched, yes, but not unappreciative. Just very, very busy...

Secondly, it has been brought to my attention that I used the word _cum_ in the previous chapter (and it wasn't LATIN, that's for damned sure), and for that I must also wholeheartedly apologize. Again, I have no excuse, other than the fact that I wrote this story around the hectic holidays, while suffering from a nasty head cold and extended lack of sleep. There are large chunks of this fic that I don't even remember writing, and my beta never called me on the use of that appalling word. I will summarily spank myself, and I assure you that it will never happen again.

Anyway, it's a wrap now, and I hope that most of you are happy with it. Much love and glomping, and a verybelated MERRY CHRISTMAS!

**xxxxxxxxxxXXXXXxxxxxxxxxx**

Epilogue:  
(Christmas Day)

Sometime in the wee hours of the morning, Joey was startled awake when his head fell over to rest in an uncomfortable position. He blinked rapidly, trying to place his surroundings. He smelled the faint scent of woodsmoke, pine sap and... cranberries? Sore, stiff, and thoroughly confused for the space of several heartbeats, he gradually realized that he was lying cushioned against a warm, firm body. Seto shifted in his sleep, bringing his arms up around Joey's chest, and in a flash, the previous day's events came rushing back to him. He smiled to himself in the darkness, and kissed the inside of Seto's wrist, attempting to gently wake him. They couldn't stay here all night long, and Seto could probably still use a decent night's sleep in a real bed. Joey crawled over and flicked on the table lamp, squinting his eyes against the light that flooded the room. Seto grunted and rolled onto his side, tucking himself even further up under the tree, and sullenly tugging a blanket over his face. "Light. Off."

"Get up, or I'm gonna stick you in a box and leave you under there -- airholes optional." He nudged Seto in the ribs with his toes.

The reaction was immediate. "Jesus, Joey! Your feet are freezing!"

"It's not my fault that you're a blanket hog. Now get up off the floor, or I'm just gonna have to look harder for a warm spot to stick my foot." Seto merely attempted to curl up tighter into a ball, making himself as small a target as possible. Joey gazed down at him, exasperated, then suddenly began to laugh -- in lengthy, wheezing guffaws that shook his entire body. Helpless, he collapsed backwards onto the nearest piece of furniture.

As badly as Seto wanted to be left alone to sleep, Joey's laughter was impossible to ignore. What the hell was so funny? He sighed grumpily. "Mind filling me in on the joke, Mutt?"

Joey pointed at Seto's backside and gasped out, "You have --" He covered his mouth, still chuckling. "You have pine needles stuck to your butt!"

Flustered, Seto twisted around to take a look. "Dammit, Joey! They're everywhere! Did you water the Christmas tree while I was gone?"

"Uh... I told Mokuba to do it."

"Well, that explains it." A thought had just occurred to him. "Shit. Please tell me that Mokuba wasn't here last night. We weren't exactly... quiet."

"We didn't exactly even bother to shut the door, either, " Joey teased. "But, no worries. He probably got snowed in at Duke's party or spent the night over at Yug's." Joey stood up and stretched leisurely, glancing at the clock on the mantel. "It's still pretty damn early, so if you wanted to catch some more shut-eye, you should probably go on up to bed. I bet you're jet-lagged all to hell and back after that stunt you pulled yesterday."

Seto nodded again, pulling himself up onto his feet and brushing off stray pine needles. He took a moment to enjoy the sight of Joey, still unabashedly naked, leaning casually against the leather sofa and looking thoroughly debauched. "I like the bed idea, " he murmured as he slunk up behind the blond and took him into his arms. "Are you coming with?"

"As temptin' as that sounds, " he began, leaning back and reaching up to caress the side of Seto's face. "and as temptin' as you are, I have a huge Christmas dinner to prepare, and only little ole me to do it."

Seto looked surprised. "I'd almost forgotten about that. Do you need any help?"

Joey opened his mouth to gratefully inform Seto that he'd love to have an extra set of hands in the kitchen, but then he recalled Mokuba's cautionary tale from earlier in the week. He closed his mouth with a snap and shook his head. "That's OK. I think I've got everything under control. You can come keep me company if you want." His brain had already kicked into overdrive, once again envisioning the infamous flaming turkey incident in full, technicolor glory. As Joey gazed benignly up at his lover, he was forced to bite his tongue to keep from laughing out loud right in Seto's face -- a gesture that would most likely not be appreciated. Sometimes, his overactive imagination was a curse as well as a blessing.

Thinking back to the revelation of this titillating little tale, Joey was reminded of something else that Seto might not necessarily appreciate. Mokuba had no idea that Seto was back in town, and now the teen wouldn't have the opportunity to soften his big brother up before the mysterious boyfriend showed up for dinner. For that matter, would Seto be angry with him for inviting a total stranger over in the first place? It was a rather private family matter, after all... He chewed his bottom lip nervously, unaware of Seto's scrutiny.

Seto watched, fascinated, as Joey's face passed through a wide variety of emotions in the space of several seconds. He'd bounced all over the place there for awhile -- from aroused, to appreciative, then on to cautious, followed by amused, and then reticent. Now, he just looked pained. "Joey, what's wrong? What aren't you telling me here?"

Joey stepped away from Seto's embrace. "Maybe you'd better sit down for this one."

"I'm standing in the middle of my den, stark naked. How is sitting down going to put me more at ease?" Joey continued to waffle, his face becoming even more pinched, and now he'd thrown in a bit of hand-wringing on the side. Sighing, Seto sat down on the couch and crossed his legs, giving Joey his full attention. "Is this better?"

"I guess... Hey, are you sure you wouldn't rather --?"

"Out with it!"

"Mokuba's boyfriend is comin' to dinner!" he shrieked, hopping backwards just in case Seto decided to leap up from the sofa and throttle him.

"That's it?"

"Whaddya mean, 'that's it'? You're not mad at me for invitin' him over without you bein' here?"

"Of course not. I'd been wondering when Mokuba would get around to fessing up. I'm happy that he was able to confide in you."

"You knew?"

Seto shrugged. "He's been acting out of control more often than usual these past few months, and he's improved his sneaking skills considerably. A love interest was simply the most logical assumption."

Joey threw his hands up in the air. "Dammit, no one tells me anything. If you knew about it, then why the hell have you two been fightin' like cats and dogs?"

"I've merely been pushing his buttons a bit harder as of late. I was hoping that he'd eventually blow up at me and just come out with it."

"Yeah, that's pretty much what happened," Joey murmured, sounding vaguely impressed. "The funny thing is, he's been doin' the exact same thing to you. He was bein' all wild and confrontational on purpose, just so you'd call him on it." Joey crossed his arms and turned his nose into the air. "You Kaiba's and your freakin' mind games..."

Seto smirked. "Yes, but he's obviously forgotten who he's dealing with. Compared to me, Mokuba's an amateur."

"I'm a what?"

Joey screeched, leaping several feet into the air as he vaulted over the front of the couch. He snatched up the first blanket he could lay hands on, and wrapped it around himself, turning to confront the newcomer. "Jesus, Mokuba! How long have you been standin' there?"

Mokuba posed casually in the doorway, smiling innocently at him. "I just now got dropped off, but it looks like you two had some fun in here last night." He turned a challenging gaze on Seto, who coolly returned it, seeming remarkably blasé at being caught so off guard. "When did you get back?"

"Merry Christmas, Mokuba. It's good to see you, too."

Not to be deterred, Mokuba prompted, "So, you're really OK with my boyfriend coming for dinner?"

Joey tugged the blanket tighter around his middle. "Hey! You said you just got here!"

Seto stared back at his brother passively, and despite both boys' calm, outward appearances, Joey sensed that he could cut the tension in the air with a knife. "It's fine. In fact, I'm looking forward to meeting him."

Mokuba frowned. "Really?"

"Really."

The frown morphed into a sunny smile as Mokuba finally relented. "It's good to have you back, Seto. I'd come over there and hug you, but you're naked, and that would just be weird." He stifled a yawn behind his fist, and pointed over his shoulder toward the main hall. "I'm beat, so I think I'll just go sleep until it's time to eat. Oh, and Joey? I told the guest of honour to show up at one o' clock; is that OK?"

"Sounds good to me."

"Great. I'll just leave you two to... whatever the hell you freaks were doing before I got here." He turned away, only to twirl back around on one foot and gesture at the slightly askew Christmas tree. "Uh, someone's underwear is hanging from a branch up there. Might want to do something about that before we have visitors."

Joey felt like he'd been frantically cooking for days now. Despite all his meticulous preparations, he hadn't realized the difficulties of making sure everything was finished at the same time, and ready to serve hot. When he'd started this, no one had told him that he'd be required to master time management as well as culinary skills. The clock told him that it was now five until one, and far too late to call in the cavalry. He was completely on his own in this -- Seto having long ago been driven away by Joey's constant obsessing and fretting over the meal. At the moment, he and Mokuba were closeted upstairs, having a little heart to heart talk between brothers, and hashing out some past issues that had driven a rift between them over the years. At least, that's what Joey hoped they were doing. For all he knew, the 'timely discussion' he'd suggested had degenerated into name-calling and wrestling. You could never tell with those two.

In the midst of all the culinary chaos, several sharp raps at the front door caught his attention, and by default, Joey dropped what he was doing and ran to answer it. Outside, Ryou Bakura stood stiffly on the porch, his cheeks tinged pink with the cold, and a bottle of wine clutched in his hands. He shuffled his feet back and forth as Joey stared at him dumbly for several, long, drawn-out seconds.

"Shit. Where are my manners? You must be freezin' out there! Come on in!" He tugged his friend in out of the snow and helped him to remove his heavy winter coat. "So, what brings you over here today, anyway?"

Ryou blinked at him. "Um, Mokuba invited me, " he prompted. "For your big holiday dinner?" Hopefully, he wouldn't be forced to come right out and state the obvious. With Joey, you never quite knew how many pieces of the puzzle he'd require to form the whole picture.

Joey's eyebrows shot upwards and his eyes widened dramatically. "I am such an asshole! I didn't even think to ask if you had any plans for today! Man, Ry; I'm so sorry for not invitin' you myself. I guess I just assumed you were gonna go see your dad or somethin'."

Ryou was beginning to wonder if he ought to have written the punch line across his forehead in neon orange. "Yes, well... if all goes smoothly, I think that _Mokuba and I_ are going to drop by and visit with him later on." He stared into the blond's guileless amber eyes, waiting for the blanks to fill themselves in. After a few more seconds of this, he decided that if he left it up to Joey, he might very well be waiting until the spring thaw. Shrugging it off, Ryou smiled brightly and patted his friend's shoulder. "Besides, I wouldn't have missed your big chef's debut for anything."

"There's plenty of food to go around, so just make yourself at home." Joey turned around and cupped one hand around his mouth, calling up the stairs, "Mokie! Thought you might want to know it was just Ry at the door!" Three stories up, a dark head appeared over the edge of the railing, squinting down at them curiously. Mokuba spied the visitor standing next to Joey, and his face split open in a huge grin that Ryou shyly returned. The anxious teen thundered down the steps two and three at a time as Joey continued to call out to him. "By the way, what time did you say your fella was comin' by? I know the snow's got everyone bogged down and stuff, but the food's ready and I'm not sure how much longer we can --" Mokuba reached the bottom of the stairs, zipping past a bewildered Joey and wrapping his arms tightly around Ryou's waist. He dipped the smaller boy backwards, giving him a very passionate, very wet kiss that seemed to go on forever. " -- wait." Joey looked on, scratching idly at the top of his head. "Have I missed somethin' here?"

Finally yielding long enough to give his boyfriend some air, Mokuba assisted a thoroughly flustered Ryou in getting his feet back under him, and then relieved him of the wine he had brought. Shoving the bottle at Joey's chest, the excited teenager grabbed Ryou's hand and began pulling him down the hallway toward the garage. "C'mon, Ry! You have got to see the motorcycle that Seto gave me for Christmas!" Blushing hotly, the white-haired boy gave Joey a half apologetic smile as he was dragged off. From the look on his face, he wasn't too upset about the dramatic introduction.

Still perplexed, Joey turned in slow semi-circle to find Seto standing in the doorway behind him.

"So... the mystery man was Ryou all along?"

"Apparently so," Joey muttered, only now beginning to recover from his shock.

"And you had no idea?"

"Apparently not." Joey shook his head in disbelief. "No one ever tells me anything." Narrowing his eyes, he whirled on Seto. "Speakin' of which... You bought him a motorcycle? You, the selfsame person who's always bitchin' about his bad drivin' habits and his quote, 'utter lack of common sense and regard for personal safety'?"

Seto shrugged. "It's what he wanted. Besides, I got you one, too." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny key ring, holding it up in front of Joey's stunned face.

The blond immediately flipped. "Ohmigod!" He reached for the key, but Seto dangled it just out of reach.

"Not just yet. Santa needs to make sure you've been a good little boy this year." At Joey's petulant whine, Seto seemed to relent. "Look. I'll make a deal with you. I'll put this somewhere safe for now, and after dinner, you can come and find it, OK?"

"Sure, whatever!" Joey bounced excitedly on the balls of his feet. "Oh wow, Seto! This is just --! I can't believe that you --! Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"Don't thank me just yet." Seto gave his lover a lazy smile and proceeded to drop the key ring down the front of his pants. He clapped his hands together briskly and smirked. "I'm glad that's all settled. Is it time to eat yet?"

Joey's traditional Christmas dinner was considered a rousing success. All parties in attendance easily conversed amongst themselves as they devoured the meal with gusto, laughing and joking with one another as if this type of thing was a common, everyday occurrence. A warm, friendly atmosphere surrounded the small group as they ate, and it was all Joey could do to remember to keep eating his food along with the rest of them. His most pressing desire was to simply sit back and watch proudly as his happy family made the most of their holiday time together.

Seto and Ryou were getting along famously, much to Joey and Mokuba's delight. The two knew each other mainly through mutual friends, and had never really had the opportunity to sit down and find out how much they had in common. Seto was full of questions about Ryou's medical schooling, and his father's travels as an archaeologist. In turn, Ryou demonstrated an astonishing amount of knowledge about the world of big business. At the first lull in the conversation, Ryou waved his fork around in the air animatedly as he asked, "I'm glad that you're here for Christmas, Seto, but Joey had informed me you had a large software deal at stake, and wouldn't make it back in time. Did everything turn out satisfactory?"

"Not really. The head of the other company was toying with me just for spite, but I finally realized that I had other options besides putting up with his games." Seto looked across the table at Joey and smiled warmly. "For example, I found out that Industrial Illusions had put in the next highest bid for the software, and even though I'm not too keen on the idea, it wouldn't be much of an issue to back out of the deal and make nice with Pegasus instead." He took a sip of his wine. "Or, -- and I'm much more fond of this option -- I could just have Bakura steal the code."

Joey choked, spraying wine across the table. "What?"

As one, they all turned to look at him, confused. Seto reached over and patted Joey's hand reassuringly. "Bakura makes a living through corporate espionage, now. He's actually one of the best in the business, and highly in demand. Didn't you know?"

"No, I didn't!" He threw his napkin down in disgust. "God dammit! No one tells me anything! It's a fuckin' conspiracy!"

At that moment, Ryou's cell phone began to ring loudly, playing a peppy little version of 'The Twelve Days of Christmas'. Hurriedly grabbing it from his pocket, the white-haired boy ducked his head in embarrassment. "I'm sorry, everyone. I meant to turn the ringer off, but I've been a bit worried about Bakura lately and I thought that he might..." he trailed off, glancing down at the display. "Speak of the devil..." he murmured, pressing the call button and putting the phone to his ear. He scrunched his face in alarm as he listened intently. "Bakura? Wh-- what? Mai, is that you? Slow down; I can't understand what you're say -- Bakura did what!"

Seto, Mokuba and Joey looked on, bemused. They'd rarely seen Ryou this ruffled, and the one-sided conversation had them fairly bursting with curiosity.

"Oh my God... Just hold on, Mai. I'll be right there. No! Whatever you do, don't give in to his demands just yet. Yes, I understand; I'll hurry." He hopped up from the table, closing his phone one-handed. "That was Mai, obviously. It seems that Bakura has abducted three of Santa's 'elves' from the mall, and he's currently holding them at knifepoint." Ryou shook his head incredulously. "Apparently, he's forcing them to dance for Mai's amusement. I think it goes without saying that she's really not all that amused, and Bakura refuses to listen to reason."

Joey was aghast. That's his idea of a 'grand holiday gesture'?"

Defensively, Ryou replied, "It may be a bit uncouth, but at least his heart's in the right place." He glanced down at Seto and Joey. "I'm really very sorry for having to leave abruptly like this, but I did have a wonderful time, and the meal was delicious. I hope that you both have a merry Christmas, and I'd love to do something like this again, with just the four of us."

Seto stood to see their guest out. "We'd like that too, Ryou."

Mokuba jumped up from the table as well, casting pleading eyes toward his brother. "Seto, can I?"

The brunet sat back down, waving him off. "Go." He grinned after them, as they nearly tripped over each other's feet in their hurry to grab their coats and make it out the door.

Joey leaned back and crossed his arms, a smug expression on his face. "I guess Christmas just wouldn't be Christmas without a few quirks here and there, huh, Seto?" He seemed inordinately pleased with his observation.

"I couldn't agree more. Wouldn't be any sort of holiday at all, if everything went according to plan."

"Y'know what? I'm actually really glad that you schemed with my friends behind my back, and tried to hide it from me. Some people would probably think that was kinda underhanded."

"And I'm grateful that you decided to cut right to the chase, and simply wish this whole business over with. Some people might find that rather... fruity."

Joey laughed, and raised his wineglass in a toast. "To the quirkiest, most underhanded, and downright fruity Christmas of all," he intoned with mock solemnity.

Seto lifted his own glass and touched it to Joey's. "May it be the first of many more to come."

Racing to see who could down their drink the fastest, Joey claimed victory by slamming his glass down on the table and belching loudly. "I win."

Seto didn't argue this fact, and returned to his meal with a thoughtful little smile playing about his lips. After a few moments, he leaned back and off-handedly stated, "I'm rather fond of the name Hannah Elizabeth. What do you think?"

"Huh?"

"For the first one. I think we should have a girl, don't you?"

Joey choked again. "Can't this discussion wait until after New Year's, at least?"

Seto eyed the blond critically over the rim of his wineglass. "I suppose so, but it's not like you're getting any younger, you know..."

Flushing scarlet, Joey hurled his dinner roll at Seto, striking him in the side of the head. The brunet's eyes widened comically, and he responded by flicking a spoonful of mashed potatoes with gravy onto the other boy's dress shirt. "Oops. Look what I did. I suppose we'd better get that off before it stains..."

Joey had just enough reaction time to begin inching his chair backwards when Seto leapt at him, knocking them both onto the floor in a tumble. He sprawled on his back and stared in a daze up at the chandelier overhead, mustering one, final, coherent thought as his lover began to gnaw ardently at his neck.

This was, without a doubt, the Best. Christmas. Ever.

**xxxxxxxxxxXXXXXxxxxxxxxxx**

the end

Challenge Notes:

Items used in this chapter:

(20) Three dancing elves.

Word Count:

3514 this chapter / 49512 final


End file.
